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Thread: Was nightweaning a disaster for anyone else?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
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    Default Was nightweaning a disaster for anyone else?

    I have sort of started the process of nightweaning DS (19) months. I guess we are going to use Dr. Jay Gordons method. So technically I have been doing the first step for some time now. (I let him nurse but unlatch him before he falls all the way back to sleep.) Sometimes it works ok, but other times it is horrible. Usually what happens is he whines for a second and then settles. You think he's going to sleep but within a minute he starts freaking out. He hits, kicks, screams and is completly out of control. This can go on for HOURS. I do everything I can to comfort him but he won't have it. I have a water sippy there but he rarely takes it. DH tries to help some but he doesn't respond any better for him.

    I'm sure it sounds as if he isn't ready, but he has to be. I cannot do this anymore. I am 21 weeks pregnant, my nipples are killing me. I have to fight the urge to throw him off of me while is nursing at night. And I am going to have a new baby here in 19 weeks who will NEED to nurse at night. I may be up for tandeming but not at night.

    With all the things I have read about nightweaning I have never seen a story go as badly as mine is going. It seems so many people say they were shocked how well their lo did or they would talk about how their lo would cry for 10 minutes but it felt like forever. 2 HOURS last night. 2 HOURS!!! I have been up since 3 am.

    DS is a very intense kid. If you don't let him take a knife out of the dishwasher he will throw a fit. Slamming his head, screaming, and throwing himself out of your arms. He is like this with everything. If he doesn't get his way he looses it. So I'm sure this plays a part in nightweaning.

    Gosh I have really rambled on here. The point is I'm going to take the next step tonight. (No nursing between a certain time, I haven't decided what times yet) I don't even know how I'm going to do it. I'm considering having DH sleep w/ him and I sleep elsewhere. Or I'll just do it. I don't know yet. Either way it's gonna suck. A lot.

    Has anyone elses lo reacted this intensly at night? Any advice for tonight?

    Jenn
    Mom to - DD1 10/5/05, DS 6/27/07 & DD2 6/18/09

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Was nightweaning a disaster for anyone else?

    I had to do the nightweaning seperately from the stopping nursing to sleep. I think I stopped nursing to sleep first and then once we had htat down I did the nightweaning.

    For nursing to sleep I started telling Nora that I would sing Twinkle Twinkle 3 times and then no more milk. I think it helped that a) she knew it was coming so it wasn't a surprise when I suddenly took my boob out of her mouth and b) she had a countdown so she was being reminded that it was coming. I'd sing it once, say "two more times then no more milk", sing again, say "ok one more time and then no more milk," sing again and say, "ok that's all. I sang twinkle twinkle 3 times and now no more milk." Sometimes she'd get upset and sometimes she wouldnt', but after doing it that way consistently she wouldn't fuss for too long even when she did get upset because she knew it wouldn't do any good.

    It helped me because I could speed up or slow down the song if it was getting to me or if I thought she needed a few more seconds. I was pregnant too and I think it also helped me to deal with the pain and irritation to know that there was a definite ending point and it was coming soon (like when I finished the song).

    Good luck, I know it's hard, but you can do this.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
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    Default Re: Was nightweaning a disaster for anyone else?

    Hi, no you're not the only one...
    I'm pregnant too, so I apprechiate that this needs to be done for some mothers. I have been so tired I just couldn't manage feeding all night. When I tried to stop we had screaming, hitting me etc for hours, a complete disaster. The next night my DH agreed to try going in, and it worked. Amazing really, as previously DS has always freaked out when DH goes in, as he knows it means I'm not around. So, don't give up, I'm sure there will be a solution for you, hopefully some of the other ladies have some ideas you can try. DH has used some distraction too, offering milk, putting bonjella on his teeth etc to snap him out of a state if he gets into one.
    Good luck, I hope things go better tonight.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Was nightweaning a disaster for anyone else?

    Thanks for the replies. I thought I'd post an update on the past two nights. It's kind of funny, in my first post I commented on how people were always saying how surprised their lo did with the nightweaning. Well I'm surprised how well he did!

    The first night he woke up at 11:15 and I brought him to our bed and let him nurse. He actually unlatched on his own and rolled over after a few minutes. But he woke up around 12:30 and when I wouldn't nurse him he freaked out. Of course. BUT this time it only lasted 1 hour. He finally fell asleep up against me, while I patted his butt and he had ahold of my neck. (He has an obsession w/ my neck. Everytime I pick him up he touches it. ) So he fell asleep at 1:30 and slept till 4!! And the best part was when he woke up at 4 he cried and fussed for a few minutes but settled back down!! He woke up again at 5, and I was going to nurse him but he just fussed for a second and went back to sleep. Woke at 5:30 when I let him nurse and then he slept til 7! So apart from the hour of screaming it went really well!

    Last night he slept until 12:30, (but he had gone to bed late). So I did let him nurse for a bit then but made him unlatch after a while. So he got mad, but I never had to sit up or get out of bed with him to calm him down. I don't know how long he cried for, definently wasn't an hour. He did wake up a lot more frequently after that, but always settled down pretty easy with me comforting him while laying down. I don't know how many times he woke up. But he made it till about 6:45 when I let him nurse!

    So everything actually went good. I can't give up now. No one actually needs to read this. I just wanted to kind of keep track on how this goes.

    Jenn
    Mom to - DD1 10/5/05, DS 6/27/07 & DD2 6/18/09

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Was nightweaning a disaster for anyone else?

    I'm glad things are going well!
    ~Jenn~


    mother of 2 boys!
    08/14/98~~03/20/08

    Birth: 7lbs 12oz, 1 year: 22lbs 11oz
    until he self-weaned 4 days before his third birthday ... still on occasion ... and happily

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *****************
    People need to understand that when they're deciding between breastmilk and formula, they're not deciding between Coke and Pepsi.... They're choosing between a live, pure substance and a dead substance made with the cheapest oils available. ~Chele Marmet

  6. #6
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    May 2007
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    Default Re: Was nightweaning a disaster for anyone else?

    Lisa

    Mommy to
    Logan 5-23-07
    Colby 12-14-09

  7. #7
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    Oct 2008
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    Default Re: Was nightweaning a disaster for anyone else?

    Yay :-)))

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Was nightweaning a disaster for anyone else?

    Glad it's going better!!
    Imma to AA, born at home 11/12/07 , juggling , working, APing , cloth diapering , - and . I'm done - yay!

    http://bf.lilypie.com/KmpEm6.png

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Was nightweaning a disaster for anyone else?

    Jenn! I'm glad it's going well. When Nora did well I took it to mean that she was more ready for it than I thought she was. It's a good feeling, isn't it?
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  10. #10
    Join Date
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    Default Re: Was nightweaning a disaster for anyone else?

    Glad things are going well Jenn. They really can surprise you.

    Mama to my little Diva: Miss K (7/15/06)
    And her little sister: Lulu Pie (3/21/09)

    "Don't toush da mango"
    One-handed typer Extraordinaire!
    My body creates, houses, nurtures and nourishes life. That is awesome.
    Kegel Kop says: TIGHTEN UP!

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