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Thread: feel like a failure

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
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    17

    Default feel like a failure

    My LO is almost 15 weeks and exclusively bf...the past 3 nights he has been screaming, pulling off the breast and waking up every hour screaming at the top of his lungs...last night I was at my wits end...he wanted to nurse but was frustrated that the milk was not coming fast enough. I want him to suck to up my supply but he refuses....finally I gave him 2oz of organic formula and 1 oz of breast milk mixed...it was all i could get from my pump after 20 minutes...he sucked it down in record time and slept for 6 hours straight...the first time he has done that in the past week. I cannot get my milk supply up for him. If it does not come quickly like in the day time, then he refuses to nurse...I have no idea what to do...I feel like a failure for giving the formula...I have been crying because all I want to do is bf my son...how do I get him to continue to nurse? I have tried it all...the teas, tinctures, fenugreek, reglan...I am doing all I can and still no change...my ideal situation would be to nurse him until he is 2...how can I if I can't even make him happy when he is under 4 months?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    NW OH
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    3,473

    Default Re: feel like a failure

    oo sounds like a rough night

    Just a few things to look at:
    could he be going through a growth spurt? Baby gets super hungry and wants to eat all the time for a few days. Here is a great link about growth spurts, sounds like your baby is in range for one.

    If you are worried about your supply, there are many things you could do. Of course, increase your water intake. Add a bowl of oatmeal to your diet, it is a great natural supply booster. There are some supplements you could look into, fenugreek, mothers milk tea-i know there are more, here is a link about boosting your supply, and how to determine if you do in fact have a low supply.

    Make sure baby has plenty of wet and dirty diapers, that is a great indication if baby is getting enough.
    I'm no expert, but my guess is a growth spurt.
    Or even teeth. Some babies get teeth young, my son had two teeth by the time he was 4 months!

    Good luck, and nap when baby naps today if you can!


    I'm Heather, SAHM to Cooper , born 1/2007
    and Bennett, our precious NICU grad born 8/2009
    and wife to Bill since 10/2003!
    We're young, but we know we can do it!
    Life with the Stevens-blog

    I'm an Ergo Baby Carrier affiliate!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Sunny Arizona
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    3,171

    Default Re: feel like a failure

    Oh mama you're not a failure, the most important thing is to feed the baby

    I have a question, how often does he get bottles? Are you using slow flow nipples? It could just be that he is getting used to faster flow nipples and/or the ease of bottles. If you are consistantly having low supply at night, which is very common, you could pump in the morning when supply tends to be higher so you have a bottle of expressed milk to give him instead of formula.

    I agree that it might be a growth spurt or teething.
    Have you looked into a supplemental nursing system? You can google it and find out more. I'd do it but I've got to go get my crying baby.

    Amy married to my bestfriend since 10/30/04

    Proud SAHM to DS born 2/17/07 and DD born 9/11/08 Both weaned together 11/2011
    Currently milk, peach, peanut and tree nut free. DD has outgrown her wheat, cheese, egg, garlic, and citrus allergies

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
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    Default Re: feel like a failure

    Was last time the 1st time you supplemented?

    Way too lazy for formula

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    17

    Default Re: feel like a failure

    thank you for the responses ladies...I never bottle feed...I have maybe 5 or 6 times and then was when I has cracked and bleeding nipples. He is always on the breast...this was the first time I have ever given formula...I just wish I could boost my supply...I have tried pumping in the morning but then my breasts don't seem to refill and he gets so irritated that he has to work for it. I am wondering if he is teething and this could be causing it...it just seems early...he is however sucking on his bottom lip constantly...I am at a loss. I am back on the fenugreek and More Milk Plus...and I eat oatmeal everyday. I have cut out all caffeine...I just feel like I can't meet his needs. Will this pass if I just stick with it?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Default Re: feel like a failure

    It sounds like you have been assuming for some time that you are having a supply issue. Why is that? AN exasperated child who is impatient with let down does not always mean a supply issue. It could be connected to a growth spurt or just that. That you were dealing with over supply and your supply has begun to actually even out.
    Diaper output is the best indicator of whether or not your child is getting enough. If it goes in, it must come out. How the diaper output?

    Also had you tired breast compressions before latching so the letdown comes sooner?

    I want to encourage you to NOT view what happened last night as any kind of indicator for a need for formula. The long sleep stretch was probably tied to the fact that formula is harder on the system and takes longer to digest. If your child was having longer sleep stretches and now isn't that is probably tied to a growth spurt. That is not about not being satisfied or you having a supply issue. That's a about mother nature working naturally to get your supply UP to the demand of a ever growing child. The only way to up supply is to DEMAND to be fed more often. So that happens for up to a week, and then the supply meets the demand and things clam down. Formula only interferes with process by interrupting your bodies ability to get every single que your child is sending your body to make MORE milk.
    Don't doubt yourself or you ability. You were made to do this Mama. HTH!

    Way too lazy for formula

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
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    4,007

    Default Re: feel like a failure

    I remember around 4 months sleeping patterns changed for us as well. All of a sudden, my baby who gave me a 5-7 hours stretch at night was waking up every 1-2 hours. A lot is going on around this time. Teething is likely beginning (and excessive drooling use to cause my little guy some discomfort at night - I guess he was swallowing a lot of saliva ), a growth spurt could be happening, babies are becoming aware of what is going on around them during the day (therefore not taking in as much leaving them hungry at night and needing to catch up on calories), their digestive tract is maturing and changing, bowel movements patterns are changing, he is beginning to like certain things and not like other (ie, fast/slow letdown), etc...

    My advice would be to count wet diapers. If there is at least 5-6 wet diapers in 24 hours you are producing enough milk. The increased nursing at night is likely necessary to increase your supply to catch up with the new demands of your baby. The fussing could be "irritation" with fast/slow letdown, it could be gas, teething pain. If there is NOT 5-6 wet diapers, perhaps then you can look into increasing your supply.

    also, did you vaccinate recently? Sometimes babies are more fussy than usually for a week or two after a vaccination.

    You're doing all the right things mama, and you are NOT a failure. Trust your body.
    ~Jenn~


    mother of 2 boys!
    08/14/98~~03/20/08

    Birth: 7lbs 12oz, 1 year: 22lbs 11oz
    until he self-weaned 4 days before his third birthday ... still on occasion ... and happily

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *****************
    People need to understand that when they're deciding between breastmilk and formula, they're not deciding between Coke and Pepsi.... They're choosing between a live, pure substance and a dead substance made with the cheapest oils available. ~Chele Marmet

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