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Thread: Need some support to continue

  1. #1

    Default Need some support to continue

    Hello all. I am new to this board. I need some help or support or encouragement to continue breastfeeding. I have only been doing it for 4 1/2 months. My DD struggles with a bottle and is in daycare. I am working full-time and pumping. I go to the daycare every day at lunch to feed her. I just feel exhausted. I want to go out to lunch with my friends, or go out on a girl's night. My hubby makes me feel guilty if I want to do anything. After being in daycare all day, she seems to powerfeed at night. What makes it worse, is that she won't take a pacifier. Please...I need to hear that I am not alone..

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Swartz Creek, MI

    Default Re: Need some support to continue

    Is she refusing the bottle? What Type is she using?

    Sorry that you hubby isn't supportive.
    Married mama with 4 kiddos...2 girls (11 & 6) and 2 boys (21mo & 3mo)

  3. #3

    Default Re: Need some support to continue

    hi, big hugs to you, i know it can be tough. My little girl wouldn't take a pacifier or bottle and I went through times of feeling sooo frustrated and tired and just wanting a break, and almost a feeling of being 'stuck'. HOWEVER, then there were those other times when i look at her feeding and it's such a beautiful, caring and amazing process that it seemed to make up for the other times. i also can't imagine not giving my daughter the best start possible, and the benefits of breastfeeding far far outweighed any reasons for stopping. I've just gone back to work and my girl is 13months, so I'm afraid I can't relate to you there, but I can say try and get some rest, eat well, take some vitimins if possible and remember that it won't last forever and that it's always changing! sometimes when i'm really frustrated at any of the parenting roles, i always have to stop and remember that it's not going to last for forever, it will change. tell your girlfriends to bring lunch to you on the weekend and have a get together at your home. hang in there and think it over thoroughly, if you really decide you can't do it anymore then just remember being happy will make you a better mom. good luck to you.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2008

    Default Re: Need some support to continue

    Did you write that post, or was it me in a time warp? That's just how I felt when I went back to work (DS was 2mo). It does get easier, mama, really it does. And just about the time I felt that I couldn't stand the battle to pump as much as he was consuming at the sitter's (~11mo), he dropped down to two bottles/day and started eating more solid food. We went through a number of bottles, the only one he will use is the Playtex Ventaire (we use the "stage 1 slow-flow nipple" so it's more like mom). What kind of bottles have you tried? DS didn't like "bottle-shaped" nipples, but these "boob-shaped" worked much better.

    I know that it's really tough to get home from a long day of work and then nurse at night. What you are actually doing is nighttime parenting, not just nursing. It is a huge blessing to your LO to be able to reconnect with you after being separated from you all day. Sooner or later, she will need to nurse less at night, but you will still have the closeness and connection that you are nurturing right now.

    That being said...

    It is important for mamas to take care of themselves as well as their families. Of course, we can't be as footloose & fancy free as we were pre-kid, but that doesn't mean that we can't schedule & plan for some "me" time. I have found that even a couple of hours once in a while makes me a new person. I explained to DH that if I don't have some time to refresh myself I will burn out, and then I won't be able to give to him or DS. Maybe you could talk to your DH? You're not abandoning your responsibilities, you're taking care of yourself so that you can be the best mama & wife you can be. , and let us know how things are going!
    Imma to AA, born at home 11/12/07 , juggling , working, APing , cloth diapering , - and . I'm done - yay!


  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!

    Default Re: Need some support to continue

    Also as exhausting as it its, the powerfeeding at night is the BEST THING. It keeps your supply going and your LO just want to reconnect with you after being away from you all day. Can you pick up some extra pumping sessions either over the weekend or one or two during the week and have a set day like Fridays where you leave extra milk and skip going over there to feed?
    Maybe if you do it once a week you won't feel like you are missing out.

    Way too lazy for formula

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2008

    Default Re: Need some support to continue

    Can you explain a little bit more about her refusing the bottle? Have you ever tasted the milk after she's rejected it? I ask because some women have excessive lipase in there milk and it can really cause the milk to taste bad even if all storage and handling has been good. A lot of women have never even heard of that problem, so I'm just throwing it out there. If it turns out to be the issue here, you can search the forums for "scalding milk due to excessive lipase" there is a great thread about it (under milk storage) or private message me and I can link it to you.

    Jeanne (my middle name IRL)

    Mommy to two girls (M & M), born Sept. '07 and Sept. '09

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2009

    Smile Re: Need some support to continue

    You are doing such an awesome job! I wish I could see my little one during lunch... I look at his pictures whenever I can and it helps cheer me up... I just returned to work about 4 weeks ago, and it has been a rough transition. I have so much more respect for working moms all over the world that continue to nurse!

    The first week I went back to work, I cried myself to sleep every single night! I was filled with self doubt and total physical exhaustion! Antonio was barely eating at daycare... maybe only taking in 6 oz over the 11 hours that I was gone... I was getting up all night to feed my very hungry and very tired little boy!

    I can say that each week has gotten better. The daycare provider really worked with me to help get his napping schedule down... Once he learned to sleep good and felt comfortable, he started eating better at daycare...

    I think that some of the moms have already given you some great advice... You need to take care of yourself first! When I get up in the mornings, I always get myself ready first... Once I get myself ready and feel good about myself, then I feel like I can really attack my day!

    Good luck! You are doing great!

    Mom to Antonio born 9/10/2008
    at work and at home

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