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Thread: How do YOU handle not having support? -- A bit depressed...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    923

    Default How do YOU handle not having support? -- A bit depressed...

    As you all known, I am 14 days into relactation for my almost 5 month old DS. He was breastfed for 2 days after birth and I caved in and gave him formula when he had bad jaundice. My mother told me that his jaundice was my fault and how he wouldn't get better until I fed him some 'real food'. Being young, a first time mom and uninformed, I listened to her and gave him formula. He has been formula fed since.

    In 14 days, I have made huge strides. I was completely dried up and now am producing a decent amount of milk. I still can't pump it out (just started getting drops today so hopefully that means something) but I manually express it all out so that my body creates more.

    My family does not know, with the exception of my great grandmother. She has kept this a secret so far. She keeps asking me how it's going and all and I sometimes feel like she's supporting me, even though she doesn't understand it. When I first started this process, she asked me why I even wanted to do this since you stop breastfeeding at 9 months anyway. Now that DS is a bit older (I broached the idea of relactation when he just turned 4 months), my family is on me about solid foods. I am refusing (and he doesn't need them!) to feed solids as I know that will throw out any chances of getting him back to the breast. She asked me today if I'll be giving him solids at 6 months and I told her that we'd see but if he was getting only breastmilk and no formula, probably not. She then went into a lecture about how he needs foods and how he can't get all the vitamins that he needs from me. Now, I know this isn't true but the fact that she would say that makes me have a bit less confidence in my milk. I keep telling her that solids will come but at his age, they have little nutritional value and are for experimention more than anything. She doesn't believe that. I guess when we were all little, we were given enough solids to get us off formula. She keeps saying how I had solids at 3 months and how my baby MUST be hungry. I try not to take it to heart but it really hurts.

    I know I wouldn't have support from my mom or from anyone else in my family. DH supports me (in both relactating and delaying solids). Sometimes it's depressing to feel so alone in this battle. I also have severe PPD (under control with meds) and sometimes I think that has a bit to do with how I feel.

    Why can't anyone understand how precious my milk is? My grandma was reading the can of formula the other day and because it says that it has DHA and ARA, the nutrients found in breastmilk, she said 'see, this stuff is the same as breastmilk so why are you doing what you're doing?'. I couldn't even begin to explain the differences to her. All I said was, 'Gran, that's not the same as breastmilk, in any way, shape, or form. That is man-made and packed full of preservatives and chemicals. MY milk is much much better for him.'. She just looked at me funny...

    So, I'm wondering how the other relactating mama's deal with the lack of support from family... I try really hard not to let it bother me but sometimes it gets to me when I know how hard I am working to create this amazing milk for my baby.

    Thanks mamas...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: How do YOU handle not having support? -- A bit depressed...

    (((HUG))) Sometimes I wish people in our families would stop trying to help us dont you??

    Im not as into relactating as you are (my DS is one month old and I FF him for 2 weeks) and I admire you. Its hard to build your supply back up and get baby interested! I still have milk left and it is difficult. Its emotional too. But you have to let go of the guilt that you have for FF him. You did what you thought was best and thats that. Now you are doing what you think is best.

    The hardest part of parenting for me has been this. Unsolicited advice from ewll meaning people. I have a DS who is 2.5 and I FF him the entire time. Now everoyne keeps telling me that if breastfeeding isnt working out just FF him, look at how DS #1 turned out... UGh! Not helping!

    Anyway, my point is this... YOU are the mommy. No one else knows what is bes for your baby and no one is ever going to agree 100% with how you do things. Just smile and tell them thank you for your opinion. And move on.

    You are doing the right thing. You CAN do this and you will be successful. Just keep trying.

    (By the way, are you taking reglan or anything? It may help if you need that extra push)

    ((HUG)) Let me know if you need more of a pep talk,Im here to support you!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    291

    Default Re: How do YOU handle not having support? -- A bit depressed...

    I'm sorry you haven't had much support around you I really don't know what to say, I know you REALLy want this and you have us, but I do realize it just isn't the same. You are doing a wonderful job, and once you get some milk any milk you can just not say anything, they will actually see that it worked at least a bit KWIM? goodluck you can do this!
    ~*TiffanyJewel*~
    Happily Married !
    SAHM to my two beautiful boys
    Ethan my sweet big boy! born 9-9-04
    Aidan my little nursling! (relactation) born
    5-2-06!
    Natalie Jewel Our Valentine! Born
    2-14-08
    *Relactation- a labor or Love*

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    16

    Default Re: How do YOU handle not having support? -- A bit depressed...

    My entire extended family disagrees with my decision to breastfeed. When I am at relative's houses I am asked to go to another to nurse (although I am property covered). I started with this child printing every article I found about the wonderful things about breastmilk and how much better it is for the baby AND the mother and handing them out to my family. I still can't nurse in the same room, but it's stopped all the unsolicited advice and comments. They also disagree with delaying solids as well.

    Just keep your head up knowing that YOU are doing what's best for YOUR child and let them think what they must. Be thankful you have a husband that is supportive. My 1st husband wasn't and I only breastfed for 3 weeks before I caved with my 1st son. My current husband is supportive and 2nd son was breastfed for 9 mos before I was forced to wean because of pregnancy complications with son #3. He's 4 months and still nursing and I'm trying to pump enough extra for DS #2 (20 mos)--with my husband's support.

    Good luck to you, don't give up!!!!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    923

    Default Re: How do YOU handle not having support? -- A bit depressed...

    Thank you both for your support. I was having a depressed moment. I missed my Paxil last night and I think that could be why I'm having a rough day.

    I started getting a few more drops with the pump and that helped me feel a bit better.

    Thanks ladies...

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    108

    Default Re: How do YOU handle not having support? -- A bit depressed...

    Glad youre feeling a bit better. My family who doesnt live near by doesnt really have an opinion either way with what i want to do and why...Robert my husband seems to think its silly a waste of time and doesnt understand why...

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    16

    Default Re: How do YOU handle not having support? -- A bit depressed...

    I'm glad you're feeling better & hopefully with coming days will be lots more drops

    I completely understand missing the Paxil--my DH says I'm a different woman if I miss a dose

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    1,368

    Default Re: How do YOU handle not having support? -- A bit depressed...

    Could you possibly get to an LLL meeting? You will find such encouragement and support there. Are there any local groups?

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: How do YOU handle not having support? -- A bit depressed...

    I know that I'm just starting this process, but I've already met some resistance. Those cluck, clucks. But I am firm that I want her to have the disease resistance through the winter. I hope it works.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: How do YOU handle not having support? -- A bit depressed...

    Hi. I am posting here b/c your story sound the most like mine. I really need some encouragement.

    I had my first son in June, 2003, I had a bad breast feeding experience, really sore nipples, cracks and bleeding and it was just not pleasant. Levi never did get the latch right and it was a constant fight. I had a bit of PPD and my family just convinced me that if I just gave him a bottle I would magically get better. I have regretted that decision to this day.

    As soon as I discovered I was pg with #2, I started reading BF info. Took classes and was determined to make it right this time. Everything started out GREAT! Colt latched right on and never hurt me. HE was admitted into the hospital at 3 days old for a severe case of jaundice (we had blood type incompatibility). At that time, they made me supplement with formula. Once we got home I resumed nursing and make it until he was a month old. He was a spitter and at his 1 mth check up the dr told me that she thought that he had a milk protein allergy and that in order to make him more comfortable I should give him Soy formula. After a week or so of thought I caved. I cried as I packed away all my BF books and my pump etc.

    Now at 4 months, he still spits up and it just finally hit me that why the H$&& am I still giving him formula...it obviously didnt fix the problem. I have talked to the local LC and my OB and I am ready to start relactating.

    I need to know procedure. I have a Rx for Reglan. The LC told me to stagger the dose, ie 1 pill on day 1, 2 pills on day 2, 3 pills on day 3 and then continue with 3. she also suggested that I rent a CLASSIC pump and pump every 3 hours for 8-10 mins. I am going to get a SNS and try it that way. I can get Colt to latch on, but he wont stay on not getting anything.

    How soon will I see milk? If a full supply is going to come in, how long will that take? Am I crazy for even trying after not having nursed for 3 months???

    Thanks in advance...I am sooo Glad I found this board.

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