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Thread: Pressure to wean

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    62

    Angry Pressure to wean

    I feels as though I am constantly, okay not constantly but a few times a week, having people comment about my not weaning my son who is alsmost 14 months. I admit that before I started nursing I never thought I would nurse beyond a year. I also never thought that so many people would offer their opinions on what every I chose. My friends, the same friends over and over, keep asking "So have you starting weaing yet?". I always have the same answer, "No I have decided not to wean yet but he sure has cut down since turning 1!" Which is true. This does not stop them from asking more questions such as "how often does he nurse? are you still nursing him to sleep? How are you going to get him to go to sleep without nursing if you don't teach him now?" I am getting frustrated with all of this. I am not shy about nursing in public but am getting tired of all the responses it is gathering. I guess I am not really looking for a response here but rather just ranting...

  2. #2
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    Feb 2008
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    Default Re: Pressure to wean

    I hear ya!!! The totally passive aggressive thing I've been doing lately is when people ask I say with a big sunny f-ing smile "YES! I am still nursing! Isn't it awesome?!" Then I proceed to talk non-stop about all the great things about nursing, funny stories, etc and after severalminutes they will nod, smile and drop it!
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Pressure to wean

    I know how you feel. I don't know why people feel so free to volunteer their opinions on the subject. If you're feeling non-confrontational, you could just say yes. Technically the weaning process starts when you introduce solids so it wouldn't exactly be lying and it would be a conversation ender. Or you could say something like, "our nursing relationship is exactly where it needs to be" or something along those lines.

    I guess my point is, don't feel like you have to defend it, because there's nothing to defend. You could turn the questioning around on them and ask them why they feel you should be weaning. What are they basing that opinion on? There is information freely available that will contradict pretty much any argument they could possibly come up with, so if you arm yourself well for the debate you might only have to do it once (per person) and they woudn't bring it up again.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    2,570

    Default Re: Pressure to wean

    Let me take a wild guess and say these are friends who don't have kids? Or else they have never BFed... I've only gotten that from friends who don't have kids yet, and so I just give matter-of-fact answers, knowing that someday they will understand that everything you do is out of love for your child.


    Jeanne (my middle name IRL)


    Mommy to two girls (M & M), born Sept. '07 and Sept. '09

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    47

    Default Re: Pressure to wean

    I want to say something about nursing to sleep! I did it for 3 years and 10 months and wondered WHAT THE HECK AM I GONNA DO NOW?. Guess what? She just closes her eyes and falls asleep...

    I know it's hard but if you are confident in your decision to keep nursing people really don't have any options to say anything against it!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    2,005

    Default Re: Pressure to wean

    Turn it around on them.
    Respond with a question, "Why do you want to know?"

    or ask something just as rude
    "When is the last time you and Dh dtd?"

    or change the subject
    "Where did you get that shirt?"
    Proud mom of 2 boys, both weaned gradually and with love.


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    For each and every one of us, the person from whom we can learn the most is our own baby: listen to him. - Mary White, LLL co-founder

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    Murray Straus, Ph.D.

  7. #7
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    Jan 2008
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    Default Re: Pressure to wean

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mom2a View Post
    Turn it around on them.
    Respond with a question, "Why do you want to know?"

    or ask something just as rude
    "When is the last time you and Dh dtd?"

    or change the subject
    "Where did you get that shirt?"
    Also don't leave the conversation open for more questions. For example if they ask you, "are you still nursing?" Just respond with "Oh yeah, still going strong. Did you watch The Office last night?"


    Jeanne (my middle name IRL)


    Mommy to two girls (M & M), born Sept. '07 and Sept. '09

  8. #8
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    Jun 2006
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    Default Re: Pressure to wean

    Playing devil's advocate here (which I don't do very well ) but, what if they're really just curious?

    I always assume people's questsions are out of pure curiosity, and respond as if so - even if that's not the case, because the tone in my voice is different that way and if they are curious I don't come off aggrivated, and if it is rudeness, they stop much faster because I don't "take the bait", per se.

    JM2C

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  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    Default Re: Pressure to wean

    You could also go the other way and say "yeah, we've started the weaning process" (which is true, if he's started cutting back, and you could add if you want) "but it will probably be a while before we're really done"

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    Ontario, Canada
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    Default Re: Pressure to wean

    Or, if it's really bothering you, I would just say "That's a personal topic that I'm not comfortable talking about." That way it also closes the door on any further questions.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

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