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Thread: non-bio mom comfort feeding

  1. #1

    Default non-bio mom comfort feeding

    Hi. My partner is getting ready to have a baby in April. She plans on breastfeeding and I am eager to have the closeness and bond that she will develop with the baby by breastfeeding. We have heard of comfort feeding and I am interested in trying this, though I don't expect I will produce milk; I would like to do it in order to bond with our daughter.

    My question/concern is over the emotional development of our baby. Do you think our daughter's natural mother/child bond with her biological mother will be compromised if I do comfort nursing with her? Will she get confused or emotionally "messed up" somehow if I try to bond with her in this way that is normally reserved for bio moms?

    I appreciate any advice you can contribute.

    Thanks.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    Victoria, BC, Canada
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    Default Re: non-bio mom comfort feeding

    Sounds like a great idea! Its pretty common around the world for women to take turns breastfeeding each others children. No, your child will not be harmed emotionally. There is no such thing as too much love.

    I'm just wondering about the logistics of this, though. Babies go where the milk is, so presumably if you have no milk, I think she'd rather nurse from her bio-mom?
    Canadian mom and breastmilk fan.
    We have 2 beautiful children: Luana who's 9 y/o, had breastmilk for 2 years and is smart as a whip. Lucas who came out kickin', is 4 y/o and continues to enjoy his milkies.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    Default Re: non-bio mom comfort feeding

    I wish my husband had been up for comfort-nursing our kid once in a while... But he was too much of a wuss and also said he didn't want her sucking in chest hair.

    I don't think there's any reason not to offer your baby your breast. As monika.h said, cross-nursing is very common in many cultures, and it doesn't do any psychological harm.

    I'm guessing your child will quickly figure out which breasts have milk, and will probably let you know quite loudly which breast is wanted. The only concern I would have about cross-nursing where one mom is dry is that it's important in the early weeks/months to make sure the lactating mom gets enough stimulation from the nursing baby- which means nursing 8-12 times in 24 hours, and being alert for growth spurts, when the baby will need to nurse even more frequently in order to boost the lactating mom's supply.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4
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    Apr 2008
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    Default Re: non-bio mom comfort feeding

    I think it sounds like a lovely idea

    However, I agree with pp - the mother that is responsible for feeding the child should breastfeed alone for the first 6 weeks or so. It's important in establishing her milk supply. The same is true for growth spurts. The body works by supply and demand. During growth spurts it's important for baby to be put to lactating mom's breast so that it will trigger more milk production during the growth spurt (which usually last a week or less each)

    Congratulations on your new baby! and
    ~Jenn~


    mother of 2 boys!
    08/14/98~~03/20/08

    Birth: 7lbs 12oz, 1 year: 22lbs 11oz
    until he self-weaned 4 days before his third birthday ... still on occasion ... and happily

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *****************
    People need to understand that when they're deciding between breastmilk and formula, they're not deciding between Coke and Pepsi.... They're choosing between a live, pure substance and a dead substance made with the cheapest oils available. ~Chele Marmet

  5. #5
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    Default Re: non-bio mom comfort feeding

    babies are pretty smart also.
    They can smell milk and mom.

    There are lots of ways to bond with baby besides breastfeeding.
    Your partners fealings might change as she gets closer to having the baby.
    And also after the baby, the more talking you do before the baby comes the beter you two will handle the birth and babymoon.
    Roles don't have to be set in stone and what it working for sometime might have to be changed as time goes on.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: non-bio mom comfort feeding

    BUT....if you really want in on the action, look down on the board about inducing or relactating. Women who haven't had babies that adopt can successfully breastfeed by beginning to stimulate their mammary glads ahead of time. Buy a pump and get to work.
    Your child won't likely want to comfort nurse off of breasts that don't produce.
    But you could bond with your child AND help shoulder the responsibility of nursing if you are actually lactating as well. Look into it. It's a VERY VERY real possibility for your family.

    Way too lazy for formula

  7. #7

    Default Re: non-bio mom comfort feeding

    Thanks for all of the encouragment and information. My partner and I will keep the lines of communication open and continue to learn about breastfeeding. I'm glad to hear that women around the world share this responsability and that it won't do any 'damage' to our baby's psyche. I am going to check into lactating and see what it would take/mean for me to do it.

    Thanks again, everyone.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: non-bio mom comfort feeding

    heres a great page with some info about adoptive nursing
    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/adopt/index.html

  9. #9
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    Default Re: non-bio mom comfort feeding

    Congratulations on the expected arrival! I was just going to echo everyone's idea on induced lactation. If possible it would be a great way to bond with the baby.
    GL!
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  10. #10
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    Default Re: non-bio mom comfort feeding

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*Jenna562 View Post
    Congratulations on the expected arrival! I was just going to echo everyone's idea on induced lactation. If possible it would be a great way to bond with the baby.
    GL!


    induced lactation would be great, i wish my husbands nipples would lactate.. it sure would help me
    Student aspiring to be a Chiropractor and mother to Noah who will be 3 in July and Olivia who will be 2 in Aug.

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