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Thread: So worried/nervous...really needing advice

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
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    Default So worried/nervous...really needing advice

    I will try not to make this post too long, but I am very very worried and really needing to get this all out. So my LO is almost a year old. He is a wonderfully loving, energetic, and intelligent little guy. He loves nursing, so much that he does it around the clock still, every few hours. He does not love to eat anything else though, or even like to. He is basically still exclusively breastfed, except for the tiny amount of food that he will eat here and there. He will finally drink out of a sippy cup though (before I couldn't ever leave him for too long because he wouldn't drink from anything else but the source). So this is where DS is at.
    I do not wish to wean him at this time, but I am having a lot of worries and am wondering if maybe I should partially wean him. At his 9 month well visit, his pediatrician was worried because he had slacked off in length. He had always been in the 75th percentile or higher for height and a bit below average for weight. At this visit, he had dropped down to the 50th percentile for height while staying about the same as usual for weight. He expressed concern that maybe my DS wasn't getting enough milk and that maybe I should start supplementing. I dismissed this, explaining that he was still fed on demand, nursed 'round the clock, made the same amount of wet/dirty diapers, I let him completely finish the breast and then offered the next, etc...I asked him if it could just be because of his increased activity (crawling, standing, starting to take steps)...He said perhaps. So we scheduled an appt. for him to be checked a month later and at that appt. he had gained enough weight for his pediatrician to dismiss the worry as well.
    In the meantime, I have become increasingly worried about DS not eating any solids not only because he is almost a year old, but also because I just found out that I am accepted into a Registered Nursing program for this coming semester. I wasn't expecting for this acceptance to come so soon. I don't have my schedule all together as of yet, so I'm not sure for what amounts of time I will be away from DS. Luckily school is only about 20 mins. from my home, so hopefully I won't have to be away from him too long at a time. I am terrible at pumping, I find it stressful, tiring, and I never am very productive at it (I never really did it very much, except in his first three months). I really don't want to have to pump if I don't have to. I hope that doesn't sound selfish. It's just that I know I'm going to have a lot on my plate already as it is, so I don't want to have any extra stresses if I don't have to. It's not just school that I'm worried about, it's the transition for my LO and myself. He has spent nearly all of his time with me. He clings to me. He is pretty good with his daddy but not for too long of periods at a time.
    One of my questions is this...At this age, should my LO be okay if he goes longer between feedings than he has been used to? When I get home to him, he could just have a longer, larger feeding than he typically would have if I were home all day with him attached to my boob? He could learn to do this right? I would be so less worried if he was eating more solid food then I would know he could snack on solids until I got home. I don't envision being away from him for more than four hours at a time anyway.....<This is where I start wondering if I should let DH try to give him cow's milk while I am away if he gets hungry>...and I really don't want to do that, I feel ashamed to say it, but then that part of me that is worried that he has been slackin off in growth as well, says "well maybe he isn't getting enough from my milk and that could help"...
    My LO's first birthday is approaching and thus his 1 year appointment. I am really nervous about this. What if his growth is further slacking off? What could be causing this slow-down? I know I have read that babies do not need solids, technically, before their first birthday, but how does this all work? They just get the extra calories from your breastmilk? Could it be that he needs more than my milk is giving him, he needs the solids? I let him nurse to his fill always. I test my breasts sometimes to see how much milk is there when we are done (just a habit from the early days I guess), and there is always milk there. I don't know. He seems to have plenty of energy, he is all over the place. Physically he looks well to me, very healthy. He has a tiny little butt and legs (characteristics from my husband and his family), but he has a very well-nourished looking belly. But he just looks shorter than he was before. His baby cousin who is 7 weeks older than DS had always been either the same height or shorter than him. But in the past few months she has been taller. At first I did not worry about this because she went up in her height percentile from 50th to 75th but then she went back down to 50th so now I find it concerning. Do babies sometimes just go from being tall in the first 6 months or so to just being average? Or is this a good reason to think there could be something wrong?
    I'm very worried. It's funny because I worried so so so much for about the first 6 months of my LO's life. Then I finally started to relax. And it has been during this time of being more relaxed that it seems I have more need to worry. I just want my little angel to be happy and healthy. I worry so much that I am not providing him with what he needs. I worry so much that I don't fully understand what he needs. I hope I find all the answers soon. Any help that anyone could give me would be so much appreciated. Thank you so much in advance.
    Last edited by @llli*ilovesidneyp; December 31st, 2008 at 08:04 PM.
    First time mommy to *Sidney Patrick*! 1/13/08
    So lucky to be a SAHM for now
    Married to my DH *Matt*
    *~Makes me soooo happy to be alive~*



  2. #2

    Default Re: So worried/nervous...really needing advice


    First, take a deep breath, mama. This is going to be okay.
    It's perfectly normal for a one-year-old baby to be mostly breastfed. My daughter barely ate any solids at that age. At 18 months, she's starting to eat a lot more. (Although she still nurses a dozen times a day.) It will come in time. Your baby is getting plenty to eat from you. As long as he's having wet and dirty diapers and hitting his developmental milestones, you don't need to worry about that. Your breasts have no idea when his birthday is, so they're going to keep on working as long as the demand is there. I didn't have to leave my daughter for that long at one year of age, but I can say that now--when I'm around, she nurses at least every couple of hours. When I'm not there, she can go 4 hours just fine. Babies are really adaptable. f you want to introduce a little cow's milk at this age while you're gone then you can, but your milk is much better for him if you can manage to pump. I'm terrible at it too, so I totally get it if you can't. He may just decide to wait for you and nurse more frequently at night. You may want to try leaving him with your husband a couple of times for four hour stretches to make sure that he's ready for this. Maybe your husband can distract him enough with water and playing with solids that he will be able to wait for you. Good luck with this--I know that you can find a solution that works out for all of you!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    2,349

    Default Re: So worried/nervous...really needing advice

    Good luck, and with pp. Also, head over to the Pumping forum for great pumping help. (I love my Medela Freestyle, because I can pump anywhere - no outlet, no table, no problem! I can even pump while cooking/sweeping/etc; that was a big help in the beginning when I needed more than I could pump while away.)

    Re the eating, could there be any allergy issues? My older sister & I ate hardly any solids until we were almost 2. Later, my family got tested & cut gluten & dairy out of our diet, and my younger sis ate tons from 6mo on.

    Good luck!

    Imma to AA, born at home 11/12/07 , juggling , working, APing , cloth diapering , - and . I'm done - yay!

    http://bf.lilypie.com/KmpEm6.png

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
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    33

    Default Re: So worried/nervous...really needing advice

    Thank you both very much for your responses. That does make me feel better. I know it will all work out, one day at a time. I'll do my best! I'll let you know how it works out.
    First time mommy to *Sidney Patrick*! 1/13/08
    So lucky to be a SAHM for now
    Married to my DH *Matt*
    *~Makes me soooo happy to be alive~*



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    2,349

    Default Re: So worried/nervous...really needing advice

    Sending you and !
    Imma to AA, born at home 11/12/07 , juggling , working, APing , cloth diapering , - and . I'm done - yay!

    http://bf.lilypie.com/KmpEm6.png

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    611

    Default Re: So worried/nervous...really needing advice

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*puddle View Post

    First, take a deep breath, mama. This is going to be okay.
    It's perfectly normal for a one-year-old baby to be mostly breastfed. My daughter barely ate any solids at that age. At 18 months, she's starting to eat a lot more. (Although she still nurses a dozen times a day.) It will come in time. Your baby is getting plenty to eat from you. As long as he's having wet and dirty diapers and hitting his developmental milestones, you don't need to worry about that. Your breasts have no idea when his birthday is, so they're going to keep on working as long as the demand is there. I didn't have to leave my daughter for that long at one year of age, but I can say that now--when I'm around, she nurses at least every couple of hours. When I'm not there, she can go 4 hours just fine. Babies are really adaptable. f you want to introduce a little cow's milk at this age while you're gone then you can, but your milk is much better for him if you can manage to pump. I'm terrible at it too, so I totally get it if you can't. He may just decide to wait for you and nurse more frequently at night. You may want to try leaving him with your husband a couple of times for four hour stretches to make sure that he's ready for this. Maybe your husband can distract him enough with water and playing with solids that he will be able to wait for you. Good luck with this--I know that you can find a solution that works out for all of you!
    I think your lo sounds just fine!!! Don't worry about weight. height so much. Its normal to drop % points on those stupid charts that cause mother's so much worry!!!! As long as he seems happy and is growing ( no matter how little it be) and has plenty of wet. poopy diapers and is meeting milestones he is fine!!!!! My 19 m old has been in the < 10 % for weight since she was like 9 months old I think... Is his hair and nails growing? That another indication he is getting plenty. I agree that your boobs don't care about the date or how old he is.. as long as he is nursing they will keep producing to meet the demand. My dd was barely eating solids at 1 year too- even now at 19 m she has days where she eats tons of food and days when she would rather nurse... weaning is meant to be a LONG process that last years.... Just keep offering healthy food choices and nursing on demand. Sounds like you are doing a great job. I know plenty of moms that don't even offer solid food until their LO turns a year. You are doing just fine mama!
    If you don't think you lo is ready for you to be away at school just yet maybe delay it one more semester? If not then I bet he will eat food while you are gone if he is hungry.

    Married my man Michael 5/12/2006
    Keira Joyce 6/1/07 Breastfed for 22 months Peanut Allergy- Outgrown 11/2010!!!!
    Israel Benedict 10/10/09- Breastfed for 27 months ( 9 months tandem with his sister)
    Nairi Anne 4/1/2011 still nursing at 14 months
    My Daily Blog
    Cloth diapers on the bum!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2008
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    SW Ohio
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    Default Re: So worried/nervous...really needing advice

    i totally agree with the pp's.

    as for solids, mine wasn't too interested in them either until he was a good 10mos. we just kept trying a little here and there and he took to them in his own time. having DH feed solids may help as well.

    you may not even need to pump if you will only be away from your LO for a few hours. but if you do need to, it can be a nice break during a busy day.

    mama! it sounds like you are doing a fantastic job!!
    JoEllen married to Jason 10-29-2005.

    Mama to Logan 12-26-2007
    Breastfed for 2 years and weaned on his own terms


    Our Lincoln 6-11-2011 to 9-12-2011
    my homebirthed-water baby, who was born with a broken heart




    And our special blessing, Leonidas 9-5-2012. A toddler who loves his "boops!"

    Come visit our blog here!

  8. #8

    Default Re: So worried/nervous...really needing advice

    Hi Mom,

    I have a 22 month old and am certianly no expert here, but I can sympathize with what you're going through... My DS didn't eat much in the way of solids until closer to 12 months either... I also found that when I wasn't around and he wasn't able to nurse on demand, as was his habit, he did indeed take more solids and in fact that pattern continues to this day... I would advise that whoever is taking care of him while you're away, offer milk in sippy cup (expressed milk or whole milk at this point) and offer him healthy solid choices... As for the attachment part, it has been the same story for us, my LO doesn't do very well when I'm away for long periods of time (even at 22 months old!) He has a wonderful lady though who takes care of him when I can't and is great about finding distracting things for him to do - go to the park, play/etc. This helps as well... Babies are incredibly resilient and he will learn how to be away from you for longer periods of time. It is REALLY tough at first, more so for YOU then him - lol. But he will be fine.

    As for growth slacking off, my LOs growth also slowed down as he became more active/walking etc. Not only do they get more active, but they also become more distracted so that eating (especially solids) can become more problematic. I have worried myself silly with worrying about growth charts though, so I can definately relate to concerns here. But as a good friend of mine says (who's kids are much older), "You'll look back on this period and have a good chuckle over these concerns...." Let's hope that this is the case for all of us. lol

    Good Luck Mom!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    33

    Default Re: So worried/nervous...really needing advice

    Thank you so much everyone for taking the time to respond. You really have made me feel better. Thank you
    First time mommy to *Sidney Patrick*! 1/13/08
    So lucky to be a SAHM for now
    Married to my DH *Matt*
    *~Makes me soooo happy to be alive~*



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