Re: I don't want to go back to work - but we can't afford it! HELP!
I think it's great that you are examining all of your choices. Good for you! The transition back to work is an extremely emotional time, but it can be done. It sounds like you have a pump that you like, and that baby takes a bottle, and those things are common challenges. Congrats on achieving success with both of those!
This is just a note of encouragement that whatever you decide, it will work out. Being home with baby would be great, but financially might be hard. I was in that same situation because DH is a teacher and I'm the breadwinner for the family, so I had to go back. Set some expectations with yourself and give yourself permission to be frustrated, tired, and maybe a little sad during the transition period.
I came back to work after 9 weeks and came back at 100% / full time. I missed Evan immensely and worried about him getting sick from daycare kids and all the same things you mentioned. But you know what? He did great! To this day he runs to his daycare lady each morning and gives her a big hug. Know that transitions are hard but the difficulty passes.
Most importantly, take care of yourself and keep talking with friends, even LLL friends. Support will get you through it, no matter what the outcome!
Mommy to William, 4/29/09, 7 lbs 13 oz, 21 inches.
Mommy to Evan, 3/18/06. 7 lbs 3 oz, 21 1/4 inches.
Nursed both boys to 14 months