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Thread: Still Demand Feeding?

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    Michigan
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    72

    Default Re: Still Demand Feeding?

    Remember that this won't last forever, although today it sure seems like it might (throwing in my personal experience here)! I do know it's hard to have a little one depend almost completely on you for everything.

    Others have had some great ideas for distractions. If you try a gentle distraction and he doesn't want to take it, he'll let you know that he really does need to nurse. Offering to play a favorite game, offering a sip of water instead, pulling out a book ... all are ways to distract him temporarily. For more ideas you might want to check out Mothering Your Nuring Toddler. Good luck!
    Sue
    LLL Leader

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
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    64

    Default Re: Still Demand Feeding?

    I was so glad to read this thread because i was about to post the same question!!

    My daughter is nearly 1 and feeds a lot at night, oh, and a lot during the day!

    She currently feeds every 3 hours at night.

    And in the day she will feed around 6 times.

    She eats solids 3 times a day, sometimes she will eat quite a lot, other meals she just has a couple of teaspoons and messes about with a satsuma.

    I was ok with this but recently started to worry as all the other breast feeding mothers I know with babies of the same age only feed first thing in the morning and last thing at night. And one only feeds once, first thing in the morning.

    I had been feeling like maybe I was doing things wrong and should be feeding her less so it's reassuring to hear others posts.

    I know there is no 'right' or 'wrong', but once a child is one is there a minimum amount of feeds they should be getting during 24 hours? Or is this an impossible question?

    Thanks all!
    Milli



    with my beautiful girls Bess, aged 3, and Ursula, aged 1, since 8th January 2008






    I blog about breastfeeding, evidence based parenting and life with children at:
    http://mamamule.blogspot.com

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Michigan
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    72

    Default Re: Still Demand Feeding?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*pulpo.mule View Post
    I know there is no 'right' or 'wrong', but once a child is one is there a minimum amount of feeds they should be getting during 24 hours? Or is this an impossible question?
    I think you hit the nail squarely on the head, Milli! There's no right or wrong answer. If your child is healthy, happy and active, you're probably doing something right. Other than that, there are so many variables that it's hard to put a number on it. It's such a personal choice with balancing everything for your child and you.

    This is a good question, though! I wonder what others have to say about finding that balance.
    Sue
    LLL Leader

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    47

    Default Re: Still Demand Feeding?

    At one, my lo was still nursing like a maniac! I was often told by the nurse that I should wean her so that she'd eat more.
    At 1 1/2 she got tested for gluten intolerance and tested positive. It's NO WONDER that mamma's milk had been her food of preference!
    I am so glad that I fed on demand. She's an extremely healthy, happy 3 1/2 year old now whom is newly weaned! And hasn't really had any eating issues for ages.

    I think it's good to follow your gut and not to let others around you feel like you're doing wrong. As sue said, if the child is healthy, happy and active you're doing something right!

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
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    4,007

    Default Re: Still Demand Feeding?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*pulpo.mule View Post
    I know there is no 'right' or 'wrong', but once a child is one is there a minimum amount of feeds they should be getting during 24 hours? Or is this an impossible question?

    Thanks all!
    at kellymom they say that if you are nursing your toddler at least 3-4 times in a 24 hour period that you do not need to introduce cows milk. I know that's not really a guide to help you decide how much breastmilk is appropriate/needed/wanted for your little one, but it gives some sort of reference point
    ~Jenn~


    mother of 2 boys!
    08/14/98~~03/20/08

    Birth: 7lbs 12oz, 1 year: 22lbs 11oz
    until he self-weaned 4 days before his third birthday ... still on occasion ... and happily

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *****************
    People need to understand that when they're deciding between breastmilk and formula, they're not deciding between Coke and Pepsi.... They're choosing between a live, pure substance and a dead substance made with the cheapest oils available. ~Chele Marmet

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    64

    Default Re: Still Demand Feeding?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sch.mommy View Post
    at kellymom they say that if you are nursing your toddler at least 3-4 times in a 24 hour period that you do not need to introduce cows milk. I know that's not really a guide to help you decide how much breastmilk is appropriate/needed/wanted for your little one, but it gives some sort of reference point
    thanks that is really helpful. i try to follow my instincts and intuition as much as poss but sometimes i need a bit of back up!

    so...in people's experience, do 'over 1's' gradually cut down on their breast feeding, or do they need some encouragement? i don't want to wean, but obviously can't sustain round the clock feeds indefinately! (or can i?!)
    Milli



    with my beautiful girls Bess, aged 3, and Ursula, aged 1, since 8th January 2008






    I blog about breastfeeding, evidence based parenting and life with children at:
    http://mamamule.blogspot.com

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: Still Demand Feeding?

    Just a quick reply cuz my DS is upstairs yelling "Mama" to nurse to sleep. He just turned 19 months old and nurses a lot in public still. I know I'm not the only one in the world but, in my circles, it often feels that way. It's nice to see all of you out there. Good luck and keep up the good work, my fellow Milkers!

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: Still Demand Feeding?

    OK, I'm back after seeing my sweet DS drift off to sleep at my breast. I just wanted to add that, when we're among my DS's same-age friends (18-24 mos) who aren't nursing, I'm always glad we still are b/c the other children, when they get overly stimulated, start hitting, throwing toys, crying and my sweet boy just nurses to "re-center" himself. Then he goes off to play again in a good mood. I find it harder to be the only nursing mom in a room with all infants. My boy is very tall so I know it looks a little strange to others but I'd much rather nurse him than have him using their plastic (and generally dirty) pacifiers! And, like the others in this thread, I try to remember that 'this time in our lives won't last forever' (those are my "good days"). ; )

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    60

    Default Re: Still Demand Feeding?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*fairetails View Post
    my son is 2 and still on demand- pretty constant. i just night weaned him about 3 mos ago- hard but it helped me not feel so burned out

    Ditto for us!Same exact situation. I'm trying to follow his lead. He can wait sometimes. He cries while he waits but I only make him wait if i'm busy with something I can't just drop.

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
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    17,379

    Default Re: Still Demand Feeding?

    There were a couple if questions in there.
    To answer the one about food, IME you need to be diligent about offering it. Even if it feels like a pain in the ass, and even if he isn't eating much. You should be involving him in the ritual of food AT LEAST three times a day. If you want him to be more interested in food while around you, you must make it a regular and consistent part of your days together.
    At one year my son was eating 3 solid meals a day and two snacks and he STILL nursed 8=12x in a 24hour period. But that did not mean it was a waste of time for me to be showing him the way around solids. His 1st year molars were breaking, so that needed to be taken into consideration because that pain called for more nursing, and of course at this age they will nurse when bored. However,he hit a growth spurt between 14 and 15 months that I promise you, you do NOT want to be a sole or primary provider for. Growth spurts in toddlers are no joke. He was having 2nds and thirds of lunch and dinner and cleaning his plate. That lasted for almost two weeks.
    As far as less, 1 is very young to be setting limits because they don't really have language yet to understand, however, IME almost all of the sessions that are happening due to BOREDOM, can be cut out simply by getting up and getting out. If I didn't want to nurse as much, we were out of the house, having playdates and time at Tot spots and the park. He would hardly ask to nurse at all during outing unless he got hurt. It would be the difference between, Nurse up, nurse while I'm at the computer, have breakfast, nurse, play, nurse, have a snack, nurse down for nap nurse up from nap, lunch, nurse, play, nurse, have snack, play, nurse, dinner, play, Nurse down, once in the middle of the night....
    And Nurse up, have breakfast, leave the house, play somewhere else, have a snack, fall asleep in the car on the way home, nurse up from nap, have lunch, play. nurse, have a snack, play, nurse while I'm on the computer, dinner , play, nurse down, once in the middle of the night.
    SO that is like a 40-50% reduction right? Getting out at this age is important.
    And to the question about a number of times a day a toddler NEEDS to nurse, IMO the answer is 3-5x. That amount means they don't have to drink regular milk, so that take the pressure off of both of your around that. My son wouldn't drink cow's milk until he was almost two. And also the composition of your breastmilk changes fairly dramatically right around the year point. Specifically because this is the time when a child will be lessening their intake, when they will start to be around other children because they start to walk and the immmunites from the colostrom wear off right a round a year. So the concentration of antibodies goes up dramatically around a year. There is not a magic date when this happens, but it DOES begin to happen.
    So be very diligent and consistent about meal times, offering up LOTS AND LOTS of choices, and get out and go. Becaue you can't negotiate with a one year old. But they CAN be distracted! HTH!
    Last edited by @llli*djs.mom; December 31st, 2008 at 10:29 AM.

    Way too lazy for formula

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