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Thread: regretting BF

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2008

    Default regretting BF

    How do I handle this situation. My DS is 3months old and has been exclusively been BF since birth. I NEED to have some time away from him but he will not take EBM from any type of bottle.....I am starting to lose my patience with BF. I want other people to enjoy him but he just screams his head off if I leave.....I also have a 2.5 yr son. I feel GUILTY that I can not spend enough one on one time with him b/c his little bro FREAKS out if he is not with me. By the way, LO doesn't like wraps or slings. I don't want to do the cry it out method but I REALLY am at my wits end. He is also not a good sleeper. Napping lasts about 20 mins unless I am holding him. My husband has planned a surprise for us this weekend. We are leaving both boys with my Mom and I know she can handle his screaming but I feel like I have done this to him by BF and not supplementing earlier on.........

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2008

    Default Re: regretting BF

    That's so hard. I hope it gets better soon.

    It's very possible that supplementing (now or earlier) wouldn't necessarily make him less needy, if that makes sense; it may just be him, KWIM?

    I hope you're able to get a break soon.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    The N O ;)

    Default Re: regretting BF

    If you can hang on another three months things should get better! It's typical what you are experiencing & I wish I knew that when I was going through it..in other words you came to the right place for support

    BFing is awesome for you & your baby, but as with everything there are pros & cons. I would keep trying to get your LO to take expressed BM & personally would not supplement. You have to do what is best for YOU & YOUR family though

    Sorry you are having these hard times- just try to hold on & they will pass

    "Children reinvent your world for you." Susan Sarandon

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Marion Va

    Default Re: regretting BF

    I feel your pain. My second (and last lol) lo was very high mommy needs. Do you have anyone that can take in for an hour or so? You can go to walmart or something? As far as someone else feeding him... I had to use a dropper or spoon for my lo for the first 2 weeks b/c mastitis(sp) and now he really wants mommy only but he will take a bottle finally at 5 months. It does get better. I promise. If you need to just talk to someone whos been there pm me and I'll call you.
    Married 10-11-03
    William 10-11-05 He'll never beat that qift BF 13 months
    Matthew 6-30-080

    bfing for 5 months and counting
    married for 5 years and still going strong
    2 angel babies in heaven

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    St. Louis, MO

    Default Re: regretting BF

    I could have written the same post a while ago. I understand exactly what you are going through and it is pretty difficult. It's especially hard when your first child was very easy going, and your second is pretty high needs. This is exactly how it was for us, but as time has passed things have gotten easier and I hope that they do for you too.

    I'm Laura, mamma of 2



    We love and

    We have been nursing for over 2 years now!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2008

    Default Re: regretting BF

    Sorry you're having such a hard time Have you tried being away from lo (out of the house) when someone tries to give lo a bottle? You may know this already, but sometimes it's easier for lo to take a bottle from someone other than mama. There are quite a few options for feeding lo other than a bottle. PP's said dropper, spoon, sippy cup, and more if you're interested. I hope it works out soon for you!
    I'm Jill
    Mother to
    Bear 12/13/98
    Bagalli 8/5/07
    little (3/21/09).
    Kafessa: 5/17/10
    expecting 10/1/11

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: regretting BF

    oh my goodness...this is exactly my situation to a T. My first (who is 2 years old adjusted age (very premature)) is such a relaxed, wonderful boy who never cried at all. My second (full term and breastfed) is so high needs.

    My son is now 6 months old, and things have only gotten worse. he is up every 1 1/2-2 hours at night, and my nipples feel like they are going to fall off since he's nursing so much. He won't take a soother, or a bottle...i"'m going shopping tonight to see if I can try a different nipple (one of the wide based ones?)....as I'm thinking its time to give up on the breastfeeding for us. I love it, and wish I could do it longer, but I think its daddy's turn to start feeding him overnight with a bottle and formula. Pumping is not an option for me as I did it for over a year with my first son, and just can't go through it again (long emotional story).

    I will follow this post to see if you get any good advice. I can tell you that I still go out once in a while for a couple hours. We went to a concert the other night and he actually went the longest without waking up while I was gone! Daddy just went in and soothed him when he woke up--without the smell of mommy's milk, he did just fine. So maybe you can try that--have Daddy or someone else take him from you for a few hours--i bet he'll do the same thing. that way he gets used to other people too.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2008

    Default Re: regretting BF

    I don't have any experience here, so I just wanted to say good luck. I also totally agree that EBM is the way to go--avoid formula if at all possible.

    Proud mommy of 2 boys and a baby girl!

    DS Owen, DOB 10/28/6, 6 lb 4oz, adopted from Guatemala, home forever 8/1/6 (we met him at 4w old! Mommy lived w/him in Guatemala from 5/28/6 till he came home!)

    DS Ian, DOB 8/6/8 via C-sec., 9 lb!
    BF for 22 mo.

    DD born via vbac 11/25/11!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2008

    Default Re: regretting BF

    These ladies have a lot of good advice for you. Remember that the first months of babies life he needs you. My youngest was the same way and there are certainly times it seems overwhelming, but they do change. Have you tried different types of slings and carriers?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2007

    Default Re: regretting BF

    I know you feel like BF has created the overwhelming need he has for you, but a high needs baby is a high needs baby.
    I know some high needs FF babies and they are still VERY high needs - they've attached themselves to someone/anyone who shows them love and care. In one specific case it was Grandma and she's like his mom now.
    Please don't feel guilty about BF and thinking you've somehow made it worse for him. I know you probably wrote this in a moment of pure frustration. Do what you can when you can, include your 2.5 year old in caring for LO as much as you can. If he feels useful and helpful that will probably be very rewarding for both of you guys.

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