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Thread: Thinking of weaning = guilt

  1. #1

    Default Thinking of weaning = guilt

    Hi there, I am a mother of 2, a 3 year old son, and a 6 month old daughter.

    I weaned my son at 7 months. I don't even have a reason behind why I did it.. I just did, and he went onto formula. Looking back I feel as though I wasn't enjoying it anymore.

    My daughter is now 6 months, and I keep thinking that in a months time, is when I would have started weaning my son, and the thought of that freaks me right out now. I am enjoying having the time with her, and it makes me sad thinking that this is the last time I am going to be able to bond in this way with a baby (we are not planning on having more children). I know that I don't need to wean her by any date, or age, and I'm not even interested in weaning her any time soon, but just the thought of it right now, makes me feel so guilty and I can't put my finger on why. I'm taking this as a sign that I am just totally unready to begin weaning. I was wondering if any one else went through this with their children, and if the guilty feeling will go when I am ready to wean?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,944

    Default Re: Thinking of weaning = guilt

    My kid is nearly three, and I often think about weaning, and I still feel conflicted about it. Not guilty, just conflicted. Should I? Shouldn't I? Would weaning be best for me, or for her, or for my husband? I think I'd only feel guilty if I weaned her and then realized that I'd done so too soon. Maybe your feelings of guilt about thinking about weaning your daughter are developing because, looking back, you feel like you weaned too early with your son? If so, you shouldn't feel guilty at all. You did a great job with your first baby!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    1,601

    Default Re: Thinking of weaning = guilt

    Guilt is a really interesting subject - I'm running out the door but I wanted to comment so I'm sub'd to post later on for you. The gist is that women are sort of wired to feel bad, even if it's not something to feel bad about.

    I'll post more later!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    4,160

    Default Re: Thinking of weaning = guilt

    I felt huge guilt when I wanted to wean my son at 4 months. It was overwhelming for me. Then I had the same thing at 12 months when we had a nursing strike.

    Now we're weaning and I feel GREAT about it.
    In my heart I know it's time and we're taking it nice and slow. You will know when it's time to wean, just trust your mommy instincts.
    Lisa

    Mommy to
    Logan 5-23-07
    Colby 12-14-09

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    4,836

    Default Re: Thinking of weaning = guilt

    Do you feel guilty because you really have no intention of weaning her now or any time soon, but you feel bad because your 'doing' more for her than your son?

    I weaned my daughter at 14 mo, which I am glad we at least stuck it out that long, but I wasn't educated on the matter and I think a part of me will always feel a little guilty that I nursed Ben for longer.

    and I agree with Lisa, you'll know when it's time.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    8,018

    Default Re: Thinking of weaning = guilt

    I weaned my son at 6 months and I will always carry some guilt about it, so I think I can understand that. I remember thinking with each of my girls when they were 6 months, "How could I have thought it was okay to wean DS at this age?" and feeling some sadness and regret.
    Do you think you could be misplacing your previous guilt on your current situation?

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  7. #7

    Default Re: Thinking of weaning = guilt

    I thought about weaning several times during this past year. Each time I felt the guilt that you are talking about. Right around DD's first b-day she started dropping nursing sessions and I decided to follow her lead and we now just nurse at bedtime and in the a.m. I may be on the road to weaning now, (since she is a year and that was my main goal) but I don't have the guilt at all that I had before. I was just marveling the other day that I have ZERO guilt about weaning now. I mostly just do it bc she still asks and we both enjoy the quiet time before bed and first thing in the a.m.
    I like you took the guilt to mean that I wasn't ready before. Just follow your gut.
    Josie- SAHM to Amelia born 12/8/07 - Norah 10/10/09 - Baby Girl #3 EDD 9/1/11

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    47

    Default Re: Thinking of weaning = guilt

    I think I went through that as well. When I first came to this site I was looking for tips on weaning and instead I found more support and decided not to push weaning at that time.
    Now a year later, she's weaning herself (with a bit of encouragement) and I don't feel any guilt at all!

    I think when you're truly ready ,for whatever reason,you won't feel so guilty. You're just not ready yet! So wait and see how you feel in a month.
    :-)

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