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Thread: more and more distracted

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
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    Default more and more distracted

    DS is 12.5 months. He has always been a really fast nurser. We are now limited to nursing in the rocking chair in his room, this is the only place he will do it, other than when he is in our bed sleeping in the early morning laying down.

    Just in the past few days, he has been noticing (for the first time, although they've always been there), the piggy bank and other objects on his bookshelf, which is in his direct line of view when he's on my right side. Sometimes he is so engrossed in pointing and looking at them that he doesn't want to nurse.

    I'm afraid he'll get so distracted that he won't want to nurse at all! In the past he hasn't been a particularly distracted nurser. Do they eventually outgrow being really distracted? And I can't make the room any darker than it already is during the day, which isn't very dark. How have others dealt with this?

    FYI: I've started offering the breast a few times a day randomly by lifting up my shirt when we're playing in various rooms of the house, but he'll have nothing to do with it then. He still doesn't ask to nurse or come up to me and tug on my shirt or anything like that.
    Last edited by @llli*lovebeingmommy; December 9th, 2008 at 10:26 PM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    257

    Default Re: more and more distracted

    It can be really scary when you have all your plans made of how, when and where he'll nurse and all the sudden he's not interested. Don't get too worried. I think they go through phases of being interested in bfing. He's probably walking now and exploring and noticing tons of new things. You'll be fine. Believe me, he'll want to continue to nurse, but he's nursed a million times and only seen the piggy bank from a distance...not he wants to touch it and figure it out. My lo went through a phase like this. It almost seemed like she didn't want to nurse when "I" wanted her to or on her normal schedule. But she still loves her milkies and it all worked out. If you're worried, just keep offering and he'll latch on when he wants it. Most of the mama's and studies say it's not normal for a 12 month old to wean, in fact, IIRC they usually don't show signs of wanting to wean until closer to 2 years and beyond. You're doing a good job!
    I'm Jill
    Mother to
    Bear 12/13/98
    Bagalli 8/5/07
    little (3/21/09).
    Kafessa: 5/17/10
    expecting 10/1/11


  3. #3
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    Jun 2008
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    Default Re: more and more distracted

    Bump - anyone else have a distracted toddler that got better and eventually really started to like nursing??? Anyone?

  4. #4
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    Oct 2006
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    Idaho
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    Default Re: more and more distracted

    when I nursed Avery went through phases where everything else was so much more fun to look at then nurse and then somedays she would nurse as if her life depepened on it.. I think the world is becoming so muchinteresting to them.. you are doing a great job!! I used to have to sit in our bedroom to nurse..we don't have much in it to look at also I would let her hold a toy too sometimes so she would play and nurse at the same time..looked really weird but worked..
    Allie
    Wife to T
    Mother to 4 crazy ones

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    Default Re: more and more distracted

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*lovebeingmommy View Post
    Bump - anyone else have a distracted toddler that got better and eventually really started to like nursing??? Anyone?
    Absolutely!
    I think it helped her to hold something in her hand when she was in the easily distracted phase. It usually was a plastic spoon!

  6. #6
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    Jun 2008
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    Default Re: more and more distracted

    We are still in super-distracted mode, so just wanted to bump this and see if anyone can offer support. DS is now almost 13 mos and will barely nurse during the daytime anymore. Already, for the past few months we have been down to nursing in one quiet, semi-dark spot only due to him being very distractible. Now, even in that spot he is getting distracted by everything he can see from the chair. I think that if I gave him something to play with it would be even worse. He always has his blankie in hand and waves that around while nursing. I just can't get him to relax and nurse. He'll suck for a minute, and then seems to get frustrated if I haven't let down by then, then will pop off and refuse to go back on. My letdowns are taking a lot longer these days, sometimes up to a minute before I can feel it kick in.

    He nurses pretty well at night and when he's super tired. But during the day, he's just too wound up to want to bother, even before naps. The breast has never seemed to have a calming effect on him, other than when he was a newborn. Even when he's tired, he will eat, pop off, and then suck his thumb and won't fall asleep nursing. Does this ever get better? I don't want him to wean anytime soon.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    816

    Default Re: more and more distracted

    Is he asking to nurse during those distracted times or are you offering?

    DD and I have been down to 2 nursing sessions for quite a few months now. I have no problems with keeping my supply and she doesn't show any readiness/interest in dropping those last 2 sessions. She's just so on the go, go, go during the day playing and exploring that she doesn't want to stop to nurse. After she turned a year old she started dropping the afternoon sessions.
    I'm Wendi.
    Mom to:
    DD1 7/28/07 for 21 mos and weaned with
    &
    DD2 12/16/09

  8. #8
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    Jun 2008
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    932

    Default Re: more and more distracted

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*lilbirdie22 View Post
    Is he asking to nurse during those distracted times or are you offering?
    He has never "asked" to nurse in any way that I can determine, other than when he gets fussier if it's been 3-4 hrs since the last nursing, then I offer. I don't offer any more than every 3 hrs because he NEVER takes it more often than that. I basically guess when to offer, and I offer before solid meals if he hasn't had it in awhile. He doesn't lift my shirt, snuggle close to my chest, point at the booby, or any other specific signal that he wants to nurse. I do the sign for milk all the time and make a point of saying "milk, do you want milk, this is milk, etc" right around the time we are nursing and he still doesn't seem to recognize it. However, he will squeal with excitement when I say "do you want a cookie" or do you want to take a bath? He understands a lot of words but not the word "milk". I feel so, so rejected.

    I feel he is going to be weaned without us ever reaching the point that I was so hoping for - i.e., that he would show any sort of real attachment or love of nursing. It seems he does it just to eat and gets absolutely nothing else out of it.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    816

    Default Re: more and more distracted

    I can understand the feelings of rejection. But try not to take it personally (I know easier said than done). Some kids are just much more into the boobies than others I think. DD is definitely not a booby girl. Oh, she's been a good nurser from the get go, but like your LO, she's never tugged at my shirt, thrown herself at my breast, or giggled at the sight of them. She does know the sign for milk but only does it at bedtime or when she wakes up during the night. She never asks for milk during the daytime. The other day as I was getting ready to put her to bed I asked if she wanted milk and she said no, water. So, I can totally relate to you wanting to offer and feeling rejected. I also remember it was hard to adjust to our new "schedule" when she started dropping the daytime sessions. I felt like I had spent so many months making sure she was getting enough and often enough and it somehow felt like I was failing her. But I had to remind myself that she was growing up and didn't need BM 8-10x's a day like those early weeks/months. And once she was eating 3x's a day and snacks, BM kind of just became "extra" to her. It seemed strange for a little while. But then I began to appreciate the freedom that came with not nursing during the day and truly enjoy our bedtime session as our special time together (instead of feeling like it was just another session in a long line of sessions that day...nursing burn out).

    Even if our LOs aren't begging for the boob, I know they feel the great love and comfort and security and nurturing that we are giving them each and every time that we nurse. We just happen to be nursing very independent children I suppose...and that independence is a good thing!

    So keep doing what your doing mama. 13mos is a fantastic accomplishment and it sounds like he'd be happy to continue to nurse a few times a day for some time to come. Maybe it is not what you pictured it would be, but you are still giving your LO a wonderful, precious gift!
    I'm Wendi.
    Mom to:
    DD1 7/28/07 for 21 mos and weaned with
    &
    DD2 12/16/09

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
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    2,476

    Default Re: more and more distracted

    Have you considered a nursing necklace? It may help to get his attention back up to you (only wear it during nursing so it's special and interesting).

    example: http://www.mommynecklaces.com/ (there are LOTS on the net, just google it)

    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

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