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Thread: Mixed Emotions (long vent!!)

  1. #11

    Default Re: Mixed Emotions (long vent!!)

    just a clarification to my post. I did not wean my dd at day, but from night nursing. In other words I didn't just move her to another room and let her cry it out or cut night nursing cold turkey. I was sympathetic to the fact that she had become accustomed to nursing at night but recognized this was not good for her or me and gradually cut down night nursings to once every three hours, which allowed me to get the sleep I needed in order to not be cranky and tired and resent nursing and what my dh does or does not do. I actually tandem nurse now. My 2 1/2 year old nurses 5 times a in 24 hours and I have an exclusively bf 7 month old. Not all toddlers will make the decision themselves to sleep at night and it is not wrong for you to make the decision that is best for your health and their health for them. Indefinite cosleeping doesnt work for all children either. Some children lreally sleep better separated from their parents. Some really sleep better near their parents. Every one is different.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Montreal
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    Default Re: Mixed Emotions (long vent!!)

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*jerseycow View Post
    just a clarification to my post. I did not wean my dd at day, but from night nursing. In other words I didn't just move her to another room and let her cry it out or cut night nursing cold turkey. I was sympathetic to the fact that she had become accustomed to nursing at night but recognized this was not good for her or me and gradually cut down night nursings to once every three hours, which allowed me to get the sleep I needed in order to not be cranky and tired and resent nursing and what my dh does or does not do. I actually tandem nurse now. My 2 1/2 year old nurses 5 times a in 24 hours and I have an exclusively bf 7 month old. Not all toddlers will make the decision themselves to sleep at night and it is not wrong for you to make the decision that is best for your health and their health for them. Indefinite cosleeping doesnt work for all children either. Some children lreally sleep better separated from their parents. Some really sleep better near their parents. Every one is different.
    I really am still considering night weaning. Or at least setting some sort of time limit (like you said once every three hours). I don't know HOW to do it. The problem is when DD wakes the only way I can get her back to sleep is nursing. No matter how quickly I get to her, I can't just rub her back or rock her. She fights until I nurse and if I flat out refuse she fights until she is wide awake and up for hours before she goes back to sleep. When she was an infant sometimes she would suck on my pinky finger to comfort suck rather than my breast. I tried that last night and she wouldn't do it. DH has also tried to put her to sleep for me. He can occasionally get her down by walking/rocking her but when she's already asleep and wakes she won't go back to sleep that way.
    Amanda
    Formerly: baby-blue-eyes

    Canadian Mum to Naomi Born 03/17/08 and has a dairy allergy we are hoping she will outgrow. Nursed for 1 year
    And Gavin Born 01/13/10. 22 months, still nursing and already determined to find every possible way of giving me a heart attack with his dare devilishness

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Toronto, Canada
    Posts
    2,339

    Default Re: Mixed Emotions (long vent!!)

    Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution yet? I'm sure other Mamas on the sleep boards have recommended it. It might help you with night weaning.

    Jess

    Mama to my little Roxie Roo, 06/11/08


    April miles for TBTTW: 63

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
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    192

    Default Re: Mixed Emotions (long vent!!)

    Just wanted you to know you're not alone. I've been experiencing much of the same feelings. My son is 7 1/2 months and still nurses about 10-12 times a day. I get terribly bored while he's nursing and sometimes feel trapped. (He also will only nap when nursing, so I'm stuck in the same spot for 2 hours at times.)

    I try to not even let the thought of weaning enter my mind. I just keep telling myself that I'm so close to 1 year and that things will change once I'm nursing a toddler. At least I hope! I know I will be disappointed in myself in the end if I give up now, so I try to just make it through the current day at hand and not think about the months ahead.
    Stay at home mom to my 2 boys:
    R - born 4/20/08, nursed for 20 months
    G - born 8/6/11, EPd for 4 months, until he refused the bottle!
    Loving CDing this time around!

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
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    932

    Default Re: Mixed Emotions (long vent!!)

    I have the same problem as you.... HOW???? Just HOW does one accomplish changing any of these miserable problems? I read the No Cry Sleep Solution before LO was even born. The methods described there did not work for us in the least. The premise is that you can accomplish good sleep for baby with minimal to no crying. It FLAT OUT did not work for us. I still think reading it might help you, but your LO sounds a lot like mine and I think her methods just don't work well for babies like ours. After the fourth or fifth time of taking him out of the crib the second he started crying, just made him become wide awake and then we were even more hosed than we were before we did that.

    I think your LO might be a little young, but we are now at the point where I have given up on the notion that I am going to help our situation without LO crying. I really like what jerseycow had to say in her post. Did you read Ferber's book, I think it's called Solve your child's sleep problems. His method is similar to NCSS, but when the LO starts crying after you lay them down, you do NOT pick them back up. You simply reassure and sooth them, and then leave the room. You go back at increasing intervals until they fall asleep. We have done this for the past couple nights and we are doing a little better.

    I am not night weaning, either. When LO wakes up, I feed him as usual but he HAS to learn to go back to sleep after the feeding. That has been our major problem recently. I don't want to night wean anytime soon since those are his best nursings in the middle of the night.

    She is not going to be harmed if you refuse to feed her every time she wakes at night. If you make the decision to only feed every three hours at night, then you just stick to that. She will cry. But YOU are the parent and YOU make the decisions. If your life is falling apart because of the way you're doing things, then you have to change them (I know that is easier said than done).

    I know a lot of people who have started setting limits on night nursing at nine months of age. You are not wrong for wanting SOME decent sleep at this point!

    For us, I needed to get to the point where I was pretty confident that LO knew we were not abandoning him when we refused to bounce him during our three-ring circus at 2am. Now, at 12 months old, I feel he is at the point where he is of course angry about it, but he is not thinking that his mommy doesn't love him anymore when we let him cry while checking and soothing every 3-5 minutes. Like pp said, we as parents need to make the decisions that are best for our LO's EVEN IF THEY DON'T LIKE THEM.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Montreal
    Posts
    2,313

    Default Re: Mixed Emotions (long vent!!)

    I have the No Cry Sleep Solution. I keep going back to it, re-reading thinking I'll have missed something...
    It's possible that my frustration with nursing is just extended frustration at the lack of sleep, but I'm not annoyed only at night.

    She awak from her nap gotta run.
    Amanda
    Formerly: baby-blue-eyes

    Canadian Mum to Naomi Born 03/17/08 and has a dairy allergy we are hoping she will outgrow. Nursed for 1 year
    And Gavin Born 01/13/10. 22 months, still nursing and already determined to find every possible way of giving me a heart attack with his dare devilishness

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