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Thread: Stopping bf in front of non-supportive people

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
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    Default Stopping bf in front of non-supportive people

    Hi, my DS is 20 months old and an avid bf'er. I'm starting to get more senstive about bf in front of non-suportive people due to his age. I know some women don't care what other people think, or want to publicise bf, but I feel ostracised, and don't think that is about to change.

    I don't want to wean, I just don't want to feed him in front of non-suportive people. Currently I try distracting or feeding him food, but I haven't been having much luck. Does anyone have any hints? TIA.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
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    541

    Default Re: Stopping bf in front of non-supportive people

    The root of the problem is how you feel so really ask yourself what your comfortable with and then see if you can accomodate it to your son's nursing needs. If he's on a schedule for example, then your can arrange your outings for the times he will not nurse. If not, you can use distraction -that works really well or a sweet snack, like fruits. Also, never wear low cut shirts because that's just like asking a baby if they want to be nursed

    Hopefully though now that it seems like moms nurse a little more than before, one day soon there wont be as many ppl that look down on bfing.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    First time mommy of Robert Nicolas, now 9 whole months(), and loving it!

  3. #3
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    Oct 2008
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    32

    Default Re: Stopping bf in front of non-supportive people

    Thanks Jaki, LOL, schedule, yes, most definately, about a 5 minute one right now...
    Good idea about the tops, I always wear low cut ones as I just find that easiest, maybe making things more difficult is a good way to go? :-) We'll see tomorrow anyway.
    I think I would be comfortable with 1 bf every 2 hrs during the day. This would be no problem for my DS, as he goes to playcentre with DH 3 mornings a week for 3 hrs each, and after all, he is almost 2, and feeds all night and drinks cows milk, so he gets all the milk he needs.
    I hear what you say about setting a good example. I just don't want to set a really, really good example :-) As for the "root" of my problem being how I feel, before I had DS I thought feeding past 1 was wierd, and even though I personally know all the benefits, I think that part of me still can't have moved on...

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Stopping bf in front of non-supportive people

    I started to get more uncomfortable bfing in public the older my daughter got, too. Before she turned one I'd whip it out pretty much any time any place, but once she was a toddler it just seemed like a different situation. Babies have to nurse and they need to do it whenever they are hungry. Toddlers are different. I would still nurse my toddler around family or if it was necessary (like if she got hurt or if it was bed or naptime), but generally for a toddler it isn't necessary to nurse at specific times because they can eat other foods, other beverages, and understand the concept of delayed gratification.

    At your son's age it is perfectly reasonable to expect him to understand nursing limits and to learn to wait until you are ready to nurse him. I would say things to my daughter like, "No milk right now, let's wait until we get home. Let's have a snack/a drink of water/play a game." Most of the time she would be fine with the distraction, but if she got really upset I would find a place I could nurse her.

    Good luck with everything. Setting limits doesn't mean you are hurting your child in any way, you are teaching him discipline just like you would in any other situation. I have not read this book, but I've seen others recommend Mothering Your Nursing Toddler. Perhaps something like that might give you more specific tips about developing a nursing relationship that you are both comfortable with.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2007
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    4,160

    Default Re: Stopping bf in front of non-supportive people

    Is it just me or does it seem like they KNOW you don't want to nurse them in a certain time or place so it makes it even more enticing?

    It's like as soon as I decide to start making dinner, or we go over to visit friends, or are shopping at the mall Logan instantly wants to take out my boobs. I wish I could get him a blow-up pair to hold onto when we're out and about.

    I haven't been very successfull either at distracting him when he wants to nurse at these odd times. Yes he will stop and eat a snack, but then go right back to grabbing down my shirt. I know what you're going through, we're at the same point.

    Oh and the best part is if we're home he's perfectly fine nursing just a few times a day mostly around napping and bedtime.
    Lisa

    Mommy to
    Logan 5-23-07
    Colby 12-14-09

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
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    32

    Default Re: Stopping bf in front of non-supportive people

    Thanks norasmommy, that's given me just the encouragement I think I need to try deffering DS. I have read mothering your nursing toddler, but it was when DS turned 1, ages ago, and I think I'm due a reread as I can't remember what it said....
    LOL green.mamma, I told my DH your quote about the fake boobies, and he said, "you know you can get a pair"!

  7. #7
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    Jun 2006
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    Default Re: Stopping bf in front of non-supportive people

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*green.momma View Post
    Is it just me or does it seem like they KNOW you don't want to nurse them in a certain time or place so it makes it even more enticing?

    It's like as soon as I decide to start making dinner, or we go over to visit friends, or are shopping at the mall Logan instantly wants to take out my boobs. I wish I could get him a blow-up pair to hold onto when we're out and about.

    I haven't been very successfull either at distracting him when he wants to nurse at these odd times. Yes he will stop and eat a snack, but then go right back to grabbing down my shirt. I know what you're going through, we're at the same point.

    Oh and the best part is if we're home he's perfectly fine nursing just a few times a day mostly around napping and bedtime.
    Part of this is comfort. In a new or foreign place (like a friends house, they are looking for a little security and know no better way to get it.

    Way too lazy for formula

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