Issues with Newborn Sursing

[@llli*kayleysdaddy]

I read through the forums a bit and didn't see any Daddy's on here though Im sure I'm not the first. This last Tuesday my wife gave birth to our beautiful baby girl (today being Saturday). Our baby is happy and healthy, nursed well the first night in the delivery room and once or twice after in the recovery room.

This was when we started developing problems. She started latching on and sucking three or four times, stopping and not starting back up. We tried tickling her chin, lifting her elbow, pulling her off and getting her re-latch all to no avail. We brought her home Thursday and tried to breast feed several more times from home with very little success.

My wife has taken this very hard, and I feel awful about it. We finally had to bottle feed her because she hadn't really eaten at all in quite some time. I am bottle feeding her so she doesn't associate bottles with mom, only with dad. We are using the slowest flow tips we could find and we still try to breast feed her each time before we give her the bottle.

With all the trying my wifes nipples have become very sore, both are cracked and have some scabs. Her breasts didn't start to firm up and engorged until last night though they still aren't as firm as expected. We have managed to get some breast milk out, what we have gotten out I have give to our daughter with a bottle. This morning when we tried to pump her nipples started to bleed so we were getting a lot of blood in the milk.

We have been treating her nipples with Lanolin and non stick pads.

We are going to continue trying to breast feed but this has become very very hard on my wife. Any words of advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks everyone

[@llli*aprilsmagic]

There's been a few dads around, usually doing what you are doing .. . asking questions on behalf of their wives. Most don't seem to hang around too much.

Now that it sounds like your wife's milk has come in, putting the baby the to the breast first at every feeding will help boost her supply. Skin to skin contact for mama and baby, without nursing, may also help increase her supply. At this point, supply is totally, utterly driven by demand, so milk must be removed from the breast in some fashion -- by the baby, hand expression (which may be least painful right now for her) or pumping -- to keep supply going.

I wonder if the baby prefers a harder flow, and maybe your wife's letdown isn't "enough" for her, or she's a bit lazy and wants something right now as payoff for even trying. Does that make sense? So . .. there's a couple things you guys can try. One is breast compressions. Get the milk going, and when the baby stops sucking, compress some of the ducts, and it shoots the milk out and makes the baby suck. Or pump/handexpress first and get the milk going to give the baby immediate satisfaction.

If the baby is going to sleep, there are various tricks to try, like taking off all the clothes, using a cool washcloth, that sort of thing to wake the baby back up.

Blood in the milk sounds gross, but it's not harmful.

For your wife's nipples, she might want to try some hydrogel pads. Expensive, but they might help. Unfortunately, some women, even if the latch is good, get really sore (I'm one of them too) and even chap up to the point of bleeding or crying. It WILL go away if the latch is OK. So checking the latch, or having an LC or LLL local leader, check the latch is important to make sure the soreness will go away. There's a very good FAQ on soreness in the resources tab above.

I found for myself if I can get through the first 30-60 second of latch-on -- I count it down -- and it's not painful after that, I am good to go, and the latch is OK. If it's still hurting after that first minute of latch-on, then something's wrong, I take the baby off and I try again, making sure the mouth is wide open, the tongue is sticking out and the lower lip and chin is down and I roll the baby back on.

Instead of bottlefeeding, you can give supplementary feedings via syringe, SNS, or even cup-feeding (FAQ on all of these too in the resources). I say this because my first child was very, very difficult to nurse after someone gave him just one bottle while I was in emergency surgery after his birth -- I never ever gave him one myself, and we used low-flow nipples, but it was still easier for him to use a bottle, and I fought nipple confusion for about 8 weeks. We ended up being able to nurse for almost 2 years, but every single day of that first 8 weeks I wanted to quit. But we couldn't afford formula, and I didn't want to give formula anyway, knowing breastmilk was better for him.

It was very, very trying, so I completely understand how difficult this is for your wife. Because of that, I would also say watch your wife for signs of PPD. You may be the first to notice, but moms who are having a lot of trouble with something that seems to be simple, like many moms believe breastfeeding should be (it's not, but nobody tells us that!), are at a little higher risk for PPD, and SO's are often the first to notice it.

Hang in there. It's early days yet.

[@llli*lillypig]

It sounds like you're really supportive, which is fantastic. The first few weeks are the hardest, and they sound particularly hard for your wife. It looks to me that you're both doing as much as you possibly can. Breastfeeding was a fight for me at the start, but believe me when I tell you, that through all the tears and the pain and upset nights with baby crying, your wife crying and quite possibly you crying, there will come a point when it becomes easier. Having read that back to myself, I realise that if I had read this at the stage you're at, I would have thought "yeah, whatever," but for me, it was how it happened. I really feel for you both, and I hope that you can both carry on with trying. It's so important for you to keep supporting her like you are. I am so thankful for my boyfriend and all his support. to you both and your lovely little one.

[@llli*bf.mom]

First, I think its great that you are being so supportive. I had similar problems that your wife is having and could not have gotten through them without my husband.

I think the above advice is great, seeing a lactation consultant helped me as well.

With all the trying my wifes nipples have become very sore, both are cracked and have some scabs. ...This morning when we tried to pump her nipples started to bleed so we were getting a lot of blood in the milk.

We have been treating her nipples with Lanolin and non stick pads.

My main problem was cracked/bleeding nipples. I didn't know how to care for them, and that made it worse. Here's what I learned:

1. After nursing, let the nipples air dry completely. Only then put the lanonlin on. I had to get an all purpose nipple ointment which helped them to heal.
http://www.kellymom.com/newman/03b-t...asts.html#apno

2. Some people have good experience with the gel pads, they FEEL great, but they didn't let my nipples heal. It hurt for my shirt to touch my nipples, so if your wife is having this problem, they make plastic shells that you can wear. It also helps keep the cream on if she uses it. (Personally, I didn't wear a shirt for most of the first month)

2. This website may be helpful. I read everything I could about latching, but it still took me 9 weeks to stop having pain when first starting to nurse.
http://www.bflrc.com/newman/handouts...re_Nipples.htm

3. I also tried pumping to give my nipples a chance to heal, but it just opened up the cracks every time they started to heal. My breakthrough was then he finally started opening his mouth more. I had to hold his chin down with my finger while he nursed for quite a while.

We are going to continue trying to breast feed but this has become very very hard on my wife. Any words of advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hang in there! It may be hard for some to belive, but I know that everything I was going through was hard on my husband too. I like how you say "we" are going to continue, because for us too it was a joint effort. After the first 9 weeks, things completely turned around for me and now breastfeeding my son is the most enjoyable thing for me!

[@llli*mammaof2]

What a wonderful father and husband you are for being so supportive.

You have gotten great advice from pps. I just wanted to chime in and say to help your wife keep trying. It will only get easier.

[@llli*babygirl05]

I also had these types of issues. Very hard, but was easier because my husband too was very supportive. My LC told me to put ice on nipples before nursing to numb them up a little, then after nursing, put some salt water in a shot glass or medicine cup and soak nipples for a minute or too to encourage healing (it didn't hurt too much), I also would wear the shells that pp talked about and the lanolin cream. Hang in there, it does get easier although it doesn't seem like it ever will!