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Thread: stressed.....dont know what to do

  1. #1

    Default stressed.....dont know what to do

    my 8wk old daughter wants to BF nonstop. I can hardly eat or shower. I have tried fenugreek for 3 days so far, but I can't tell if my supply has increased. this baby appears sleepy, but wants to be held. I have tried to give her formula ( i know bad, but i feel like she is not getting enough to eat) which she will not take, and when she does, it's only 1-2oz. I can't take her out anywhere b/c she is so fussy ( when not latched to the breast, she is ok for maybe 1-2 hours in a day). When I nurse, I am nursing for up to an hour or when she falls asleep. She spits up a lot and has reflux. She is not even comforted by my husband anymore. I feel like I have tried everyhting that I know how. I am not a terrible mom, just lack of rest and not knowing what to do.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
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    393

    Default Re: stressed.....dont know what to do

    Big hugs Mama.

    You're right...you are NOT a terrible mom. Breastfeeding can be very hard in the early weeks, but it really does get easier, I promise!

    When a baby goes through a growth spurt (very common around 9 weeks), they have a lot of fussing and a lot of eating. It is normal for a baby to want to be on the breast ALL.THE.TIME. I would rule out that being the possible cause first. Check here for information about fussing at breast. And here for infor about growth spurts.

    Have you talked to your pediatrician about reflux? There are some medications to help relieve reflux that can be bad. Spitting up is not uncommon, but it might be a sign of reflux. Here is information about reflux.

    When you feed her, does your milk really squirt out fast? The other possibility could be Oveactive Letdown (OALD). Finally, here is some info about that!

    sorry to overload you with too much information. It is difficult to determine the problem without a lot of information...so I hope you can find something there that might help!

    Also, you might try wearing your baby in a sling. I know for us, it was so helpful to my baby who only wanted Mama and who wanted to be held a lot!

    Don't give up Mama. You are giving your LO the best start and you won't regret it. Things will get better!
    Becca SAHM to
    Veronica 10/31/05

    and Preston 10/28/07


    <--- me!
    (I love this smiley!)

    I finally got on Facebook! If anyone wants to be my
    friend.

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    Default Re: stressed.....dont know what to do

    You sound tired and frustrated. It sounds like a growth spurt to me, how long has it been going on? Frequent feeding is your baby's way of encouraging your breasts to produce more milk and your body will respond, just trust it. For now you might just want to settle in to knowing you will be nursing a lot, get a comfy spot with some water, snacks, a book or tv and just try to relax. It won't last forever, I promise.

    My daughter also liked to be held while she slept. I had a lot of luck swaddling her tightly, nursing her to sleep, then laying her down. A lot of mama's here have had luck wearing their babies in a sling so they can get things done while baby naps. This can also help with frequent feedings because a lot of times you can nurse while baby is in the sling and keep moving around yourself.

    Your baby is still very young and you are still establishing your milk supply, so just try to trust your body and your baby to work together. It can be very frustrating in the beginning, but like I said, it won't last forever.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    San Antonio, TX
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    44

    Default Re: stressed.....dont know what to do

    I was having a similar issue to this one, and even posted my own thread regarding the same thing! My DS is only about 5 weeks, and although I don't have near the fussiness that it sounds like you do, he too wants to eat almost all the time! He'll nurse for about 20 minutes or more, then either stop, or fall asleep, and then as soon as he realizes he is by himself he starts fussing and shoving his hands in his mouth again! In my case, especially after all the help and input from other users, I am pretty sure it was just a growth spurt, as it seems to be easing up a little.

    As far as leaving the house, what I try, (and USUALLY works) is that I'll nurse right before I leave, after I am all dressed, and everything I need to bring with me is in one place by the door, and while he nurses if he starts to fall asleep i'll shake his little hand or poke his cheek to wake him up and I'll keep doing that until he just absolutely won't take anymore. Then I burp him and put him in his carseat, which usually makes him fall asleep anyway. This combination usually buys me at least an hour or two out of the house before I have to nurse him again.
    Jorie
    Mother to Cullen Micheal, Oct 8, 2008 7lbs 2 oz

    1 Month: 9lbs 8oz!
    2 Months: 10lbs 6oz!
    3 Months: 12lbs 13oz!


  5. #5

    Default Re: stressed.....dont know what to do

    no....milk does not squirt out, it will drip on occasion. i am only able 2 pump 1.5 oz from both breasts combined in 1 hour or so. she was taking ranitidine ( a form of zantac) 4 reflux. but, it seemed to aggravate her more. did you moms have sleepless days & nights as well as not being able to eat? thats how I am, maybe I am just overly overwhelmed.:

  6. #6
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    Feb 2007
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    Default Re: stressed.....dont know what to do

    I know that zantac can take a while to work if the reflux was bad and already did some damage. Pump output is NOT a good indicator as to your supply. Babies are much more effecient at emptying the breast so don't base your supply levels on that. If baby is having 6-8 wet/1-3 poopy diapers a day then he is getting enough to eat. It couldn't come out if it wasn't going in.

    Have you tried a pacifier? Babies have a strong urge to suck for comfort. Normally I don't like to encourage introducing a paci so early, but if he has reflux and is nursing for comfort then it's a vicious cycle of nurse, reflux acts up, nurse for comfort, which aggrivates the reflux, nurse for more comfort....on and on. We're currently going through this with my daughter. It sucks.

    I would also incourage you wear him. Get a baby carrier, it's a lifesaver I swear! I like a Moby style wrap as it snuggles baby close and is easier, IMO, to be hands free when they are young. Babies R Us used to carry one, it's the kind you wrap around yourself. I just looked on their website to give you a pic and couldn't find it but they have Mei Tai's online and those are fabulous as well.

    Talk to your pedi. about something else for the reflux if you think the zantac isn't working, I know there are more options out there.

    mama, it's hard in the begining. Some babies are just higher needs then others. Right now your little guy just really needs you. While I know you're going crazy right now it will get better, I promise. If it didn't no one would have more then one kid


    ETA: sorry for all the hims when you have a her I'm sleep deprived too and forgot you said daugher.

    Amy married to my bestfriend since 10/30/04

    Proud SAHM to DS born 2/17/07 and DD born 9/11/08 Both weaned together 11/2011
    Currently milk, peach, peanut and tree nut free. DD has outgrown her wheat, cheese, egg, garlic, and citrus allergies

  7. #7

    Default Re: stressed.....dont know what to do

    i really admire you amy marie, and other moms who have more than 1 LO. I am going to try to hang in there. She has plenty of wet dipaers and maybe 1 poopy diaper a day or every other day. She passes gas a lot. It sounds like a severe case of reflux based on info from kellymom.com. oooh man....i am going to try, but guys I am barely hanging in there. I know complaining a lot, but it is tough. thanks so much for you guys support and info.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    393

    Default Re: stressed.....dont know what to do

    It does sound like you are overwhelmed which is VERY NORMAL for all new moms. It will get easier Mama! Just keep coming here when you need some encouragement.

    Please rest as much as you can right now. Forget about the housework...it can wait. The most important thing is a well-rested mama. Try to sleep when that baby sleeps if you can.

    Have you tried to nurse her while you are laying down? It is so much easier and you can rest yourself at the same time. It was so great for me to learn to feed my baby that way.
    Becca SAHM to
    Veronica 10/31/05

    and Preston 10/28/07


    <--- me!
    (I love this smiley!)

    I finally got on Facebook! If anyone wants to be my
    friend.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Sunny Arizona
    Posts
    3,190

    Default Re: stressed.....dont know what to do

    The swing helped me too since she would be more upright to help with the reflux and she liked the motion. And those rare times she'll sleep without me laying next to her, I'll use an old shirt as a blanket. Usually the one I wore the day before, so she can still smell me.


    We all have days or weeks were we're overwhelmed and stressed and ready to kill for a hot meal and a warm bath. You can come vent here whenever you need to cause we've all BTDT

    Amy married to my bestfriend since 10/30/04

    Proud SAHM to DS born 2/17/07 and DD born 9/11/08 Both weaned together 11/2011
    Currently milk, peach, peanut and tree nut free. DD has outgrown her wheat, cheese, egg, garlic, and citrus allergies

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    1,987

    Default Re: stressed.....dont know what to do

    Can you get some help for a day or two so you can at least get some good meals and maybe catch a nap when you lo wants to be held by someone, but isn't nursing? Having a new baby and all that comes with it is a huge life change, not to mention the lack of sleep and difficulty eating well. Talking to someone in person (a LLLeader or IBCLC) might be helpful. Sometimes LCs will weigh your baby before and after a feeding so you know how much they are getting. She also might have some ideas as to whether your lo is at the breast so much b/c she is having difficulty transferring milk well or if she has a high sucking need or if something else is going on (like the reflux).

    Hang in there! Talk to your husband about what the two of you can do to take care of YOU!
    DS 1/2006 9 lb. 2 oz. 22 in.
    DD 10/2008 8 lb, 2 oz. 20 in.

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