Happy Mothers Breastfed Babies
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13

Thread: Need help weaning...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Southern Maryland
    Posts
    251

    Default Need help weaning...halfway there...

    My dd is almost 14 months old. My goal was 1 year but she's still nursing with no end in sight. And so far it's been a great experience that I will definitely never forget, however; it's my time to be selfish and get my body back. I have no sex drive and the lack of estrogen has made sex very painful, even with lube. (sorry TMI) My husband is trying to be patient with me but I can tell his frustrated and upset. I even asked my doctor and he said the BFing and the Depo shot is causing my problems. But he can't take me off the Depo until I get a real period, which I haven't had yet....

    I work full-time and was able to stop pumping. She drinks whole milk at daycare with no problem.

    But when we're together, she will only occasionally sip whole milk from her sippy cup. She wants REAL mommy's milk, not cow. She will throw fits and cry so hard. Understandable but I really need to start weaning her.

    I want to do this gradually but I need some advice.

    Should I leave the room/house and try to get my hubby to get her to drink milk from a sippy? What do I do when she refuses the sippy? Any other advice would be wonderful!!!!
    Last edited by @llli*caramel-allie; November 10th, 2008 at 08:03 AM.
    ~*Sherri*~
    Mommy to Allison Rae

    Born 9-18-07 @ 1:18am

    BF for 18 months! Finally weaned!


  2. #2

    Default Re: Need help weaning...halfway there...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*caramel-allie View Post
    I even asked my doctor and he said the BFing and the Depo shot is causing my problems. But he can't take me off the Depo until I get a real period, which I haven't had yet....
    I only have a second to answer, but this part that I boldened jumped out at me. It doesn't seem to make sense, and I'd urge you to maybe check with a different doctor and get a second opinion. It's always been my assumption that Depo was something that you had to go in for, for a shot every 3 mos. or so. I've also known several ladies that used depo on purpose because they didn't get any periods whatsoever while on depo. One friend of mine took depo for like 5 years straight, and didn't have one period that whole time. When she read about the possible side effects of long term use of depo, I "think" all she had to do was not get the shot again, iykwim, but I'm not positive.

    Anyway, if one of the benefits of depo is possibly not getting your period at all, then how do you know it's the nursing that is holding your period at bay, and not the depo? I'd seek a 2nd opinion if you can to clear that up. You'd hate to wean and still find out that you have the same estrogen probs and still not have a period....especially with a doc who won't NOT give you the shot without you having a period...it could set you up to be on it a long time IYKWIM.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Southern Maryland
    Posts
    251

    Default Re: Need help weaning...

    I understand what you're saying. My doctor won't put me on another birth control method until I get my period back. So I will have to stop the Depo and wait until my period comes back. But the BFing could be holding back my period as well, I realize that too.

    But either way I want to stop BFing. (which I want to for more reasons than just the sex) And then hopefully my period will come back once I stop the Depo shot.

    I just need suggestions on how to wean her.
    ~*Sherri*~
    Mommy to Allison Rae

    Born 9-18-07 @ 1:18am

    BF for 18 months! Finally weaned!


  4. #4

    Default Re: Need help weaning...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*caramel-allie View Post
    I understand what you're saying. My doctor won't put me on another birth control method until I get my period back. So I will have to stop the Depo and wait until my period comes back. But the BFing could be holding back my period as well, I realize that too.

    But either way I want to stop BFing. (which I want to for more reasons than just the sex) And then hopefully my period will come back once I stop the Depo shot.

    I just need suggestions on how to wean her.
    Maybe if you answer some questions, we'll be able to come up with the right answers for you personally. Every mother/child breastfeeding relationship is different, and weaning happens differently for everyone.

    Where are you guys at with your breastfeeding relationship right now? When does she nurse during the day? What are her favorite sessions? and what about sleep? Can she nap and fall asleep at night without nursing at this point? Are there any sessions that you know she'd be able to easily do without with a bit of distraction and a sippy cup of milk or a fun snack?

  5. #5

    Default Re: Need help weaning...

    Also, I wasn't trying to offend you with my suggestion to seek a 2nd opinion regarding the depo. Sometimes weaning can take a month or 2 to accomplish, and I was just trying to let you know, that if you stopped the depo, you might have some relief from your problems while you continue to wean, assuming you're anywhere near the end of your depo cycle, iykwim. Once the depo's out of your system, you might have a little relief from the issues, and it might make you more comfortable while you work on weaning.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    miles from nowhere
    Posts
    11,107

    Default Re: Need help weaning...

    Is she still nursing at night? Or nursing to sleep? I started with those times and weaned her first from nursing at night then nursing to sleep. She sort of followed on her own with day time nursing (though that is in large part because I'm pregnant, I think).

    I would try to start with limiting nursing at certain times- like at night for example, but choose the times that are most stressful for you and/or easiest to distract her from. Instead of offering cow milk, maybe a snack- my daughter will almost always go for raisins or pretzels when they are offered and I used that a lot to distract her when I just didn't have time to sit and nurse her. That way you aren't replacing the nursing session (in her mind) you are just distracting her and putting her off for a while. If you keep doing this and only nurse when she is really insistent and not distractable it might reduce the number of times you are nursing per day and eventually you can reduce them until they are gone.

    Hopefully someone else will chime in with some more advice. I know it was a lot easier for me because I was pregnant and my daughter was quite a bit older, but those are just some tips I used for limiting our nursing over the last year. If you are interested in an effective, gentle night-weaning method I highly recommend the Dr Jay Gordon method.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Southern Maryland
    Posts
    251

    Default Re: Need help weaning...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*francis.breadandjam View Post
    Also, I wasn't trying to offend you with my suggestion to seek a 2nd opinion regarding the depo. Sometimes weaning can take a month or 2 to accomplish, and I was just trying to let you know, that if you stopped the depo, you might have some relief from your problems while you continue to wean, assuming you're anywhere near the end of your depo cycle, iykwim. Once the depo's out of your system, you might have a little relief from the issues, and it might make you more comfortable while you work on weaning.
    I know you weren't trying to offend me! I'm just scared to go off the Depo because I won't be given any birth control until my period starts. And who knows when it will return.

    And I really can't afford another baby at this point in life. I know there are other options but I don't feel comfortable without using some medical birth control, ya know?

    Thank you for the suggestion!!!!
    ~*Sherri*~
    Mommy to Allison Rae

    Born 9-18-07 @ 1:18am

    BF for 18 months! Finally weaned!


  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Southern Maryland
    Posts
    251

    Default Re: Need help weaning...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*norasmommy View Post
    Is she still nursing at night? Or nursing to sleep?
    Yes to both. I think those will probably be the last ones to wean her from. Was there a reason you chose those ones first to cut?

    And I'll try the distraction method with food. But I can usually tell the difference between "i'm hungry" and "i want boob milk" cries. And she really knows how to throw a fit when she doesn't get the boob. Arched back, on floor, crying, following me around. It's a sad sight...
    ~*Sherri*~
    Mommy to Allison Rae

    Born 9-18-07 @ 1:18am

    BF for 18 months! Finally weaned!


  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    miles from nowhere
    Posts
    11,107

    Default Re: Need help weaning...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*caramel-allie View Post
    Yes to both. I think those will probably be the last ones to wean her from. Was there a reason you chose those ones first to cut?
    I chose those because they were the most stressful for me and I thought she would be more receptive to stopping those nursings than the daytime ones. But every nursing pair is different so if you'd prefer to do daytime nursings first, then definitely follow your gut on that.

    Distraction was really helpful for those daytime sessions (like I said earlier). For example, she used to want to nurse as soon as I got home from work but I noticed that if we went to the park or the grocery store or just outside to play for a while she would not remember to nurse. Then we'd go back inside/home just in time for dinner (DH had to help with this part- either he'd take her while I cooked or I'd take her while he did) which would distract her further. Then it was bath time and suddenly bedtime before she remembered she hadn't nursed yet.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    miles from nowhere
    Posts
    11,107

    Default Re: Need help weaning...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*caramel-allie View Post
    And I'll try the distraction method with food. But I can usually tell the difference between "i'm hungry" and "i want boob milk" cries. And she really knows how to throw a fit when she doesn't get the boob. Arched back, on floor, crying, following me around. It's a sad sight...
    That must be hard on you both. If you can see it coming and try to distract (with an activity or food or you leaving and letting her play with daddy for a while) before the fit things might go easier. I'd generally let my daughter nurse if she got really upset (and I could tell when she was just angry versus really sad and upset). I felt the risk of backlash (like she wants to nurse more and more because of the times she really wanted it and I refused) was more detrimental to the process than me just nursing her when she got really upset.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •