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Thread: close to giving up please help

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    Default close to giving up please help

    Hello eveyone!!

    I have a 4 mo old daughter, who I have had a very frustrating time breastfeeding. i guess, we never got a good start, and I am not sure if we can make it up now. Does anyone have any suggestion on how to improve a 4 mo old latch?

    I am having a supply issue and we are currently supplementing with formula. My daughter was tounge tied and i didn't know it untill 3mo, we got that fix, but not before my supply plummeted. Now, I can't even get her to feed with out being sleepy and sometimes then it is even a fight. I work part time and pump when I am away from her, and after she feeds or when she takes a bottle, All day, I am only able to pump 6oz.... She takes that in one sitting.

    I guess I am wondering if we should just give it up... This is something that I really want to do for her, and I have been telling myself that some brestmilk is better than none, but I keep questioning if 6oz is worth renting a pump, taking supplements, getting frustrated when she won't nurse, and just honestly feeling like an overall failure at this brestfeeding thing.. PLEASE HELP

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    33

    Default Re: close to giving up please help

    I hope you don't have to give up! Hmm, I am no expert in this matter. I am nursing my second child, but my trouble where when they were first born. I am also with my kids all day long. I suggest that you drink a lot to keep your milk supply up and do all the other things that help with that. Maybe you should pump more and sooner. Also when you are home offer your breast to your girl everytime she acts like she might want it.

    When my son was born it took them 3 hours to give him to me. I couldn't hold him straight off because he was 10 lbs and I was weak. When we got home he only wanted to sleep and my milk was in. I tried everything to wake him. I considered stringing him up by his toes. I just kept on offering him my breast and trying to make him uncomfortable so he's wake up. My daughter did not want to nurse straight away either. I forced her. I wanted to nurse and that was that. I made her wake up and I put my nipple in her mouth and tickled her feet or stroked her cheek.

    A breastfeeding book I have suggests ways to wake her - dimming the lights, removing her blankets, changing her diaper, washing her bottom with a cool washcloth, massaging her feet, and placing her in your lap in a sitting position, supporting her chin in one hand while massaging her back with the other hand. I am not sure if this is to wake only newborns. I had to make sure that I remembered to have mine positioned correctly. Your stomachs should be touching if you are doing the cradle position. I had to make sure her spine wasn't twisted. Keep her close to your body and relax. Look her in the eyes lovingly while saying sweet things. Maybe she will want to nurse because she likes the bonding she gets. My book also suggests using more than one position a day and to offer both breasts at each feeding. Also nurse right before you leave and as soon as you come home. Make sure she is not fed 1-2 hours before you get home so she is hungry for you. I hope this helps I am sorry it is so long. I am up late and I am trying too hard probably to help you. You could always ask a LC for help. You are right about some being better that none though. I'll pray for you.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Oregon
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    2,931

    Default Re: close to giving up please help

    First of all ... you are NOT a failure ... you should be proud of what a wonderful mama you are for caring so much about your little one and wanting to provide her with the best start in life! If you are still producing that much milk, it is certainly not too late to build up your supply and breastfeed your baby. You might want to check out the Relactation boards for more support too.

    Also check out these articles:

    I would like to resume breastfeeding after an interruption. How do I relactate?

    Back to the Breast

    Starting Over

    I think the previous poster's suggestion of contacting a lactation consultant is a wonderful idea. You can find either a La Leche League leader or lactation consultant (IBCLC) for one-on-one support. They can guide you much better than anyone can over the computer.

    Is there a La Leche League Group in your area? The leaders will help you for free. Here is the link to find one:
    How to Find a La Leche League Leader Near You

    Or you can find a list of International Board Certified Lactation Consultant's here.

    I'm sure other mom's will be along shortly who've had first hand experience with building their supplies back up and can offer more advice. You can do this! Kudos to you for wanting to continue to give your baby the best in nutrition by continuing to breastfeed!

    Mama to Adeline Brett, breastfed for 4.5 years (12/14/05) and little Eliza June, new tiny sprite in my arms and still learning the ropes (7/18/10)

    Family Blog • If I'm here I'm nursing and typing one handed ... forgive the typos!
    And I'm not a newbie at all ... I'm trying to get my old user ID working from back in the day ... paint-the-moon

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Bryan, Texas
    Posts
    4,260

    Default Re: close to giving up please help

    Quote Originally Posted by rstmel
    Hello eveyone!!

    I have a 4 mo old daughter, who I have had a very frustrating time breastfeeding. i guess, we never got a good start, and I am not sure if we can make it up now. Does anyone have any suggestion on how to improve a 4 mo old latch?

    I am having a supply issue and we are currently supplementing with formula. My daughter was tounge tied and i didn't know it untill 3mo, we got that fix, but not before my supply plummeted. Now, I can't even get her to feed with out being sleepy and sometimes then it is even a fight. I work part time and pump when I am away from her, and after she feeds or when she takes a bottle, All day, I am only able to pump 6oz.... She takes that in one sitting.

    I guess I am wondering if we should just give it up... This is something that I really want to do for her, and I have been telling myself that some brestmilk is better than none, but I keep questioning if 6oz is worth renting a pump, taking supplements, getting frustrated when she won't nurse, and just honestly feeling like an overall failure at this brestfeeding thing.. PLEASE HELP
    Hang in there mama!! And SOME breastmilk IS better than none, whatever your situation. I had some complications after birth and couldn't nurse until day 3 because of blood transfusions and the like. So we had a bit of a rough start too...but stick with it.

    Try the football hold, I found it easy to see if he was latched on correctly. It may be a little harder now since yours is 4 mo to nurse in this position...I have to use extra pillows now to nurse my LO in this position, but you can do it!

    Get help now from a LC. Your OB may know of one, the local hospital, or LLL in your area. Don't give up, your baby will appreciate your efforts...even if it seems she's fighting you right now!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    179

    Default Re: close to giving up please help

    definitely hang in there mommy! you have come this far already! I just wanted to say that i definitely know what you mean about getting off to a rough start. i feel the same way. dd and i have battled w/ our BF relationship too and i always think if only i had nursed her right after she was born maybe we wouldn't have so many problems. she was born at 717 and was 9lb and passed meconium on her way out. they were worried about her breathing so i didn't even get to hold her after they first laid her on me when she was born. I don't even think they brought her to me to try nursing until about 3am the next day!

    The only thing i was going to say is that i remember in the early days when dd was too sleepy to nurse i would undress her to her diaper and lay her on my tummy or against my chest and i would gently massage her feet and hands and rub her ears a little. i also at times would take a damp cool cloth and run it over her forehead.

    hang in there. we are all here for support if you need it!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: close to giving up please help

    Good Morning,

    Thanks everyone for the encouragement, it has been a rough couple of weeks with the brestfeeding. I am currently seeing a lactation consultant, who I beleive is wonderful. It seems like I have tried everything to increase my supply.. fenugrek, blessed thistle, Mother's Milk, Teas, Reglan, and a homieopathic remedy my LC suggested. I have been reading a lot lately about breastfeeding and every thing I read suggests that the best way to improve supply is to improve the baby's latch. The problem is my LC seems to act like she is too old and has lost the brestfeeding instinct to latch and doesn't seem to concrened with trying to solve it, she feels like increasing the supply will do the trick....But I can't seem to do that... so I am trying to figure out how to improve the latch and hopefully improve my supply. any suggestions would be helpful. I really do appreciate the kind words, it really has been a rough 4 months with the brestfeeding, it is nice to hear people tell you not to give up. My family and friends aren't big fans of brestfeeding and keep telling me it is not worth it!!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Bryan, Texas
    Posts
    4,260

    Default Re: close to giving up please help

    it is so worth it...just keep surrounding yourself with women and men that support your decision to breastfeed. you really are doing what is best for your daughter. maybe this was already suggested, i'm not sure...but try to nurse her as much as possible when you are with her. take naps together and nurse lying down. do what you can you keep the two of you close.

    the football hold seems to be the easiest for me to tell if ds is latched on correctly. have you tried this??

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: close to giving up please help

    yes, we have tried the football hold, which does work better.. she doesn't fight quite as much, but she does just sit and play like that. it is practically the only time she giggles!!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Bryan, Texas
    Posts
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    Default Re: close to giving up please help

    Quote Originally Posted by rstmel
    yes, we have tried the football hold, which does work better.. she doesn't fight quite as much, but she does just sit and play like that. it is practically the only time she giggles!!

    enjoy those giggles! i LOVE it when my son giggles and smiles at me, even if it is 4am when i'm nursing him.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    33

    Default Re: close to giving up please help

    To help with the latch on practice it a lot. If she isn't on the nipple just right then brake the suction and try again. When her mouth is opened wide put her on the nipple. Her mouth should be covering up most of you areola-spelling. You should not be able to see most of the brown on you breast. It does take some practice. Especially since in a way you are starting over with an older baby. I don't think it is impossible and patience will help make it easier. You are a good mom for trying your hardest to do this even though the people physically around you don't give you the support you deserve. All of us here are here for you!

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