Aidan woke up 5 times last night. once every hour after midnight just about. he had NEVER done that. Finally the 5th time he was just pulling off of me so I gave him a bottle, and he chugged it and slept for 3 more hours. I don't know if he was just hungrier or what
then today everytime he latched he would CHOMP down on my nipple. he has refused me almost the entire day. I got only 2 nursings in all day (not including the 4 night nursings ) so i fed him with a syringe (what a task that is) and he wants it though.
I'm not sure if
1. he may be teething (he is 3 months 1 week)
2. he is finding a new way to refuse me ?!?
It seems everytime things look really good, we have a set back!
I love that he was nursing and I really hope he goes back! But I'm starting to have major doubts. I have been working hard these 2 months but nothing is ever solid! I feel like my 2 year old is missing out on a lot of mommy time, because I am constantly trying to get baby to nurse. and baby is always mad at me unless we are playing. he's so happy but i frusterate him so much. I'm afaid I will look back on the time I lost with him and my 2 year old and regret it. I am almost to the point where I am just going to express and leave it be. but at the same time I LOVE nursing him.
any one go through this? I am so back and forth I don't know what's wrong with me. I *feel* Like i REALLY want this...but then i get so discouraged and bummed I don't want to bother anymore (though I haven't given up yet) I'm afraid that if i truely wanted it I wouldn't even have the doubts? and a friend lost her baby last month and all I can think is, how sad that is, and what if it happened to me? my only memories would be this constant frustration!
I just really needed to vent because I don't know what's going on with me anymore! I just want to enjoy him! but I am SOOOO close to nursing! either way he will still get my expressed milk, but i would love him to nurse!
maybe he will compromise with me and feed at night and a few times a day lol. ugh wishful thinking
thanks for letting me vent!