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Thread: discrete/exposed bf

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2008

    Default discrete/exposed bf

    I came across a comment the other day along the lines of "I think it's gross when women openly bf toddlers, it's something that should be done in private" which got me thinking about how I bf my son. I know lots of women who like to discretely nip, and some who like to openly bf so as to help normalise it, or who just aren't concerned with what other people think.
    I bf pretty openly, but my reason is more so that other people don't bother us, family is fine, but I don't want to start chatting to a stranger while bf... so I openly bf to ensure we are left in private :-)

    Anyway, I'm interested to hear about how other women nip, and any insights you have as to your reasons for it. Go on, give Freud a fieldday :-)

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006

    Default Re: discrete/exposed bf

    I guess I'm gross, then. My toddler (2.5 years old) is generally weaned when we are out in public- the big wide world is too interesting for her to waste time on nursing- but on the rare occasion when she needs to nurse I just do it. I don't bother covering up. She's so big that she covers me pretty effectively! Last place I NIPed her was a big Chinese restaurant. She was up hours past her bedtime and was pretty cranky. After she nursed, she was good till 11 pm!

    I guess I'm comfortable with NIPing my toddler because I hope that if some other nursing mom sees us, she'll feel encouraged to nurse her toddler without fear. That and I don't care what people with negative attitudes towards breastfeeding think, and I'm happy to make them uncomfortable.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2008

    Default Re: discrete/exposed bf

    I don't quite "count", because my DS just became a toddler (walking for a week!!), but...

    I always nip openly, and plan to continue doing so. I am trying to educate other mamas out there about what they can do for their LOs. I feel that if I try to hide it, I'm as good a saying that there's something wrong with what I'm doing. Since I feel it's normal & natural, I want to just go ahead and do it!
    Imma to AA, born at home 11/12/07 , juggling , working, APing , cloth diapering , - and . I'm done - yay!


  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2008

    Default Re: discrete/exposed bf

    I never got the chance to NIP my son, as my milk dried up in 8 weeks.
    But when I see a mother nursing her child, regardless of age, I smile greatly and nod my head at her. I encourage all women I meet to bf!! My son hasn't been sick yet!! *knock on some wood quick!!* It's so great and I'm so sad that my milk went away. I tried everything I could think of to keep it there!! But, alas, it wasn't meant for us. Next time, we'll see how far we get.

    Every woman who bf has the RIGHT to nurse in public. It's a law. A right. Who am I to tell her it's disgusting? It's not. It's one of the best relationships God/nature ever created!!

    Who knows...but that's my two cents on the subject...
    Married to my BFF Yuri 10/6/2001
    Luka John born 3/4/2008 via C-section
    Fed by from birth to 3 weeks, then to 7 weeks, milk went away. Now weaned off formula!! On to goat's milk. (sweet like BM, easy to digest!)
    Been back to work since May 27th, 2008I am an RN,work on IV Team.
    Enjoying his little smiles
    So love being a momma!!
    <--Luka John, 9 months old.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2006

    Default Re: discrete/exposed bf

    DS is 27 mo and rarely asks to NIP these days. When he needs to NIP I pretty much do it where ever we are. I do try to find somewhere to sit that is comfortable and won't be in the way but that's for my convenience and comfort and I'm not trying to hide.

    I've never owned any nursing tops and stopped wearing nursing bras over a year ago. I also don't own a nursing cover up (like a hooter hider). DS mostly covers me and he knows at this age that when we're outside our house he needs to help keep my breasts covered up.

    DS rarely wants to be worn, but if he was in the ring sling and wanted to nurse I'd use that for NIP.

    I find that people rarely notice and when they do I generally get smiles. When DH is with us he is totally relaxed and acting like this is normal (which it is).
    DS1: bf 7/2006 -> 4/2009; multiple food allergies
    DS2: bf 9/2009 -> ???
    ; multiple food allergies
    Breastmilk Donor - http://hmbana.org/index/donatemilk
    Click HERE to learn about baby led solids (BLS) / baby led weaning (BLW)

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2007

    Default Re: discrete/exposed bf

    My DD is 21 mo and rarely asks to nurse when we are out but if she does, I'll just nurse her. I'm 28 weeks PG and she asked to nurse at a play group a few weeks ago. I didn't have anything to cover myself and my belly was quite obvious. I really didn't care and no one said anything.

    I find it so natural I don't stop to think when she asks.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2008

    Default Re: discrete/exposed bf

    I don't bf dd in public much at all anymore, like a pp said- way too many distractions, it's a waste of time to even try. But, honestly there was a time where I remember thinking that if a child was old enough to walk up to you or ask for it, they were too old to bf, esp in public. However, that was before I had a child and I had never been around bf'ing moms. So, when people have those attitudes, I just try and remind myself it's usually just ignorance on their part (unfortunately, lots of people just aren't informed and don't know any better). So, i think it's great for the moms that do nip to help bring more awareness of it and make it seem more "normal" to those who haven't been exposed to it.
    since 10/10/07
    and still going...

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Pullman, WA

    Default Re: discrete/exposed bf

    My son barely qualifies as a toddler (he is just a couple of days over his first birthday), but I've thought about this. I think it feels a little different to me--especially since he's a really big kid. But I still plan to feed him on demand. So if we're in public, we'll nurse, well, in public. I don't use a blanket or special nursing clothes or anything. He covers me quite well. Except when he pops off to wave at people! I hope some other moms will see him and realize that nursing past one year is NORMAL.
    Stephanie, mom to Jaime Hoban 11/04/07 and Annika Jayne 12/21/09

    We . . . no room in the bed for more!

    We love our cloth diapers!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2008

    Default Re: discrete/exposed bf

    Ellie is 28 months. We still NIP quite often. She is tall for her age and I am actually surprised that people don't make comments to us. It is very comforting for her, so I don't want to make her ashamed or take that comfort away from her.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2007

    Default Re: discrete/exposed bf

    I personally am not comfortable NIP because my son is craaaazy when he nurses. He likes to expose both breasts and pull my shirt all the way up, so at home I usually take my whole shirt off. I don't mind flashing a little nip in public, but I feel uncomfortable showing both breasts and my stomach.

    We did nip on a plane last month, and sure enough he hiked up my shirt and would scream if I tried to put it down. It was embarrassing.

    He never asks to nurse while we're out, I just bring along a snack and sippy cup. If he did though I would deal with it, and find a discreet place so he can be boobie wild if possible.

    Mommy to
    Logan 5-23-07
    Colby 12-14-09

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