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Thread: I've almost reached my original goal ..

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
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    Default I've almost reached my original goal ..

    of one year!! Less than a month to go..I'm so proud! One of my greatest accomplishments so far

    Anyway, my question for you all is this ..my family is the traditional type that are uncomfortable with me BFing my soon to be 1 yr old in public It sucks..I know, but we can't have it all They are great in many, many ways - just not extrememly opened minded

    How have you Ladies dealt with this yourselves?! I do not want to be mean - they are my family & they are just ignorant to the fact, ya know?! My sister thinks I should start pumping now that my LO drinks from a cup. I told her that I hate pumping & if I never had to do it again -it would be too soon She justs thinks it will look more wierd as LO grows older?! She can't help she's brainwashed by our mainstream society

    What to do?! What to say?!


    "Children reinvent your world for you." Susan Sarandon

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
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    Default Re: I've almost reached my original goal ..

    I just keep on doing it and don't say much. Occasionally, I will tell them that Noah is hungry, or that I am feeding him or about to feed him. If it makes them uncomfortable, they can choose to walk away, turn their head, put a blanket over it Now that he is a little older (15 months), I also make him wait sometimes.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    New Orleans, LA
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    5,036

    Default Re: I've almost reached my original goal ..

    You will probably find the need to NIP after 12-14 mos. decreases....so just not bringing it up could help. I'm a tiger on this issue (or should I say lioness) and I only have advice on how to be aggressive and unfortunately for those I love, their feelings are not on my list of things to protect.

    Maybe someone with a gentler approach will come along. Congrats, BTW.
    Mother - Wife - Artist - Cook - Writer - EnvironMENTAList - Cloth Diaperer (but we are soooo done with diapers) - Organic Health Nut...I'm sure there's more.

    DD1 - 12/15/05 Breastfed for 16.5 months
    DD2 - 8/6/07 Breastfed for 3 whole years and 3 little, extra days.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2007
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    4,160

    Default Re: I've almost reached my original goal ..

    Congrats on the milestone.

    I agree w/ pp that you won't run into that situation as much since your LO is getting older. Around 14 months we stopped NIP for the most part since I could just use a snack or water if needed, or a meal like everyone else.

    Toddler nursing changes very quickly. You will be surprised as your LO grows into a toddler how your nursing relationship develops!!!
    Lisa

    Mommy to
    Logan 5-23-07
    Colby 12-14-09

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    611

    Default Re: I've almost reached my original goal ..

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*juno View Post
    I just keep on doing it and don't say much. Occasionally, I will tell them that Noah is hungry, or that I am feeding him or about to feed him. If it makes them uncomfortable, they can choose to walk away, turn their head, put a blanket over it Now that he is a little older (15 months), I also make him wait sometimes.
    My 16 month old is still an avid nurser. ALot of the times now I can distract her with a sippy cup and a snack... but other times I can't and I just nurse her. Like lately she is getting molars and asking to nurse ALOT more than normal. Its a comfort thing so I nurse her. I don't really care what people think. 1 year olds are still babies in my mind... now if she was 3 or 4 I doubt I would be nursing in public!! But for now I still nurse in public alot although its alot less than I did when she was like 10 months or so.

    Married my man Michael 5/12/2006
    Keira Joyce 6/1/07 Breastfed for 22 months Peanut Allergy- Outgrown 11/2010!!!!
    Israel Benedict 10/10/09- Breastfed for 27 months ( 9 months tandem with his sister)
    Nairi Anne 4/1/2011 still nursing at 14 months
    My Daily Blog
    Cloth diapers on the bum!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    928

    Default Re: I've almost reached my original goal ..

    I wish NIP was more common and that people would accept it, but I'm not a tigress, I'm easily embarrassed and very aware of other people's disapproval or embarrassment. I NIP on a trip to London at a family dinner when DS was 14 mths, and my brother and his wife went pink but didn't say anything. I didn't say anything either, just latched him on and carried on the conversation. I find that even if people are embarrassed, they rarely actually say anything. My Dad, however, is more outspoken and started saying how wonderful it is that DS is getting the best possible food and look how bright he is and how tall he is! Go, Dad!

    If you want to tread gently and help your family understand, accept and maybe one day even support, I think it's worth talking to them about it. My Dad used to say nursing a toddler was 'weird' but now he thinks it's 'wonderful'! If you are going to a place (like a family dinner) where you are likely to be nursing your LO in front of people who you think might be shocked or offended, you could warn them in advance and ask them not to comment in front of your LO, and if anyone starts to comment while you are nursing, tell them you will talk to them about it later if they have any questions. I didn't want my LO to hear negative comments and feel like he was doing something wrong.

    When my MIL was uncomfortable about aspects of nursing, I lent her the Sears breastfeeding book and she read the whole thing and really changed her mind. For my own mother, who would have put the book on the shelf and not read it, I emailed links to the kellymom.com benefits of extended breastfeeding webpage. The older generation mostly formula fed and they are stuck in a mindset that says breasts are for sex. I think it's possible to gently provide info about the benefits, explain your reasons and give people an opportunity to express their opinion or ask questions. And if they still insist they don't like it, you can tell them 'I am happy with my decision and I would prefer you not to comment in front of my LO'.
    Emma

    J from Aug '06 to Nov '08 and S from April 2009

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    22

    Default Re: I've almost reached my original goal ..

    Several of my close girlfirends (who urged me to nurse in the first place) started making comments about me "still nursing" when my son was getting close to a year. I was so taken aback by these breastfeeding supporters turning into "that's gross" girls! After a couple of comments and not really knowing how to handle it I made up my mind to hear anyone out but not let them change my relationship with my son. I have had coworkers turn and walk away without a word after finding out how old my son was (14 mo at the time) and that he was still nursing. I have had several friends or family members say they think he is too old, that it is gross or even that mothers who nurse over a year do it for themselves because they dont want thier babies to grow up. I let people make their comments then just gently tell them that everyone is free to have their own feelings but that I do this for both my son and I. I have really gotten comfortable letting people voice their optinions but also let them know that their feelings will not change my feelings about nursing or when I decide to wean. It is all about you and your child. Dont let anyone else interfeer with your choice. My son is currently 18 months and I still NIP. Keep up the good nursing and remind yourslef that you are doing what you feel is best for your LO.
    Melanie


    Mommy to Chase (4/18/07)
    Mommy to Keeley (10/18/96)

    Wife to Eric a and my best friend

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    32

    Default Re: I've almost reached my original goal ..

    Congratulations :-)
    A reply I've been thinking over myself is something along the lines of "yes we are still nursing, it's so good for his health and everything, but one of the hardest things I find is people's opinions that it's not socially acceptable"
    This is being really honest and upfront about the issue, and would allow a conversation to take place where you could discuss how most of the world feeds for much longer, everyone used to, etc. You may end up still on different sides, but hopefully no longer uncomfortable about it.
    Good luck, it's hard to do something people you love don't support, but if you can discuss it and they can accept it would be awesome :-)

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