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Thread: Would you night wean under these circumstances?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    Default Would you night wean under these circumstances?

    Looking for some advice. DD is 14mos old and nurses to bed, 2x's during the night, and sometimes upon waking in the a.m. We nurse on demand on the weekends. She's a daycare during the week. I have pump weaned so she gets cow's milk and water at DCP along with plenty of solids. So, here's my situation. I am going away to a conference the first week of December and I'll be gone Wed-Sat. My freezer stash is getting low (I was still sending one bottle of BM to daycare after I pump weaned) and there's not enough stash to supply all the bottles she's need to keep her BM consumption at its current level while I'm away.
    So, should I:
    a) start pumping again to build up a stash (I'm estimating to need an add't 8
    4oz bottles)
    b) start night weaning so that she only needs enough for bedtime, morning,
    and naptime on that Saturday (I estimate to be 8 4oz bottles)

    She'll be 16mos old when I'm away. And I have well over a month to either night wean or build the stash back up. Just not sure that I want to start pumping again (although I know I'll have to bring it with me while I'm away). I'm happy being pump free. And I wouldn't mind her being night weaned. I think this would be easier on DH too. But, I'm conflicted because I want to do what's best for her.

    Oh, and OT, but I'm wondering how often I should pump while away? Just to comfort? On a set schedule?
    I'm Wendi.
    Mom to:
    DD1 7/28/07 for 21 mos and weaned with
    &
    DD2 12/16/09

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Would you night wean under these circumstances?

    TBH, you might want to work on both. There is no guarantee that you will be able to completely night wean her in a month- it took much longer than that for us, though I don't know what's typical. And if she does wake up at night while you are gone and DH needs to give her a bottle to get her back to sleep, it would be better to have it there than not. At the same time, if she wakes up at night and you aren't there, she might just go back to sleep without a bottle (this was our experience when I was away for a night and my dd was I think 18 mos and not night weaned AT ALL).

    What I'd probably do it pump some just in case bottles and start getting her used to, if not night weaning (the Dr. Jay Gordon method worked for us- though I didn't exactly follow his time line), at least having daddy calm her at night. The aspects of the Gordon method that might be useful are getting baby used to falling asleep without the breast. My dd got used to this really quickly (at 19 mos) even though it took much longer to get her used to not nursing at all at night.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Would you night wean under these circumstances?

    Do you want her to wean? Are you okay with nursing her again if she asks?

    Here is my experience:
    when DS was 17 months old, I had to travel to across country for my sisters wedding. I was extremely worried about weaning, but decided we'd cross that bridge when I got back. I didnt have any stash, nor did I leave any milk. my electric pump was on the fritz, and I just had a manual pump.
    I was gone for 4 days. DS still nursed around 5x a night.
    DH said that Cooper woke up a few times the first night, and less and less each night after. He said he was really easy to get back down to sleep.
    When I came back, DS didnt care to nurse. But I nursed him at night anyway. I probably didnt have to, but I truthfully was hoping he would to help relieve my engorement (my pump wasnt that great, but it did help some while I was away. DONT FORGET to pack your pump while you are away!)
    DS continued to nurse until recently (we are down to once a day)
    So I think the decision to leave milk is up to you.
    I think she would be fine w/o. I'm sure she will up her cows milk and water intake while you are away all on her own.
    This probably sounds horrible, but after a day, she might 'forget' about you/nursing. I dont mean she will literally forget you, but being with your husband or whomever she will likely not even think about it b/c you are not there in front of her with the goods!
    I bet it will be suprsingly easy for your husband to get her down at night.
    It will be much harder on you, at least that was the case for me! It was so hard being away.

    Good luck
    ETA: We recently used the Dr Jay method for weaning DS last month and it took about two weeks ( i think he was ready, b/c he really dropped the sessions on his own)


    I'm Heather, SAHM to Cooper , born 1/2007
    and Bennett, our precious NICU grad born 8/2009
    and wife to Bill since 10/2003!
    We're young, but we know we can do it!
    Life with the Stevens-blog

    I'm an Ergo Baby Carrier affiliate!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Would you night wean under these circumstances?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*hls02 View Post
    Do you want her to wean? Are you okay with nursing her again if she asks?

    \
    I'm not looking to totally wean her...although if that happened as a result of me being gone, I'd be ok with it. And night weaning, I ready for, but I'd take it back up if she asked.

    And I was thinking the same thing as you...out of sight, out of mind. I don't want to pump like a mad woman only to have her not want it/ask for it while I'm gone. DH has done some of the nighttime soothing with mixed success. Sometimes she falls back to sleep with him on the guest bed, sometimes she dozes only to remember that she really wanted to me about 15mins later, and sometimes she just won't settle for DH.

    I went away for 2 nights back in May and she didn't wake as often as when I was home, but we had lots of EBM back then because she was under a year old.

    ETA: She has gone to bed w/out the boob. I work late Thursdays and sometimes DH has had to put her to bed before I get home. And there's been the occasional date night where mom or MIL will put her to bed. She does okay with this.
    Last edited by @llli*lilbirdie22; October 15th, 2008 at 10:33 AM.
    I'm Wendi.
    Mom to:
    DD1 7/28/07 for 21 mos and weaned with
    &
    DD2 12/16/09

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Would you night wean under these circumstances?

    It sounds to me like she'll be fine without milk at night while you are gone. Whether you night wean might not actually make any difference, though if you do night wean, you might be prepared for the possibility that she'll want to nurse at night again once you return- just until she's used to having you back.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    816

    Default Re: Would you night wean under these circumstances?

    Thanks for the advice Paige and Heather. I started to panic today when I realized I hadn't been planning for BM while away. You are right. It'll probably be a lot easier on her than me!

    Now to decide whether I want to travel back home with the milk I pump while away...
    I'm Wendi.
    Mom to:
    DD1 7/28/07 for 21 mos and weaned with
    &
    DD2 12/16/09

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