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Thread: Feel like I'm failing as a mother...please help

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    Default Feel like I'm failing as a mother...please help

    Hello All

    If you've read my post previously, you all know that I have had my fair share of struggles with supplies for months now. I am still hanging in there, barely, and pumping 3x a day at work. I am on Reglan, 2x a day. I pump about 10-12 oz total in the 3 sessions at work. Problem is, my LO is eating 6.5 oz bottles. She will be 5 months on the 16th. We started cereal in the morning, about 3 weeks ago. I am going to start cereal at night too. From what I am reading, my LO is not in the norm for being bfed. I have had to supplement her bottles with 1/2 formula, because i am not making enough for her to eat. my stored up supply was diminishing quickly, so i had to do something.

    I feel like I am failing as a mother for not giving her enough. I feel bad about her having to have 1/2 formula. I literally have tried just about ever herbal supplement, tea, extra nursings and pumpings, etc. I just can't get it to go up anymore.

    What do i do, i don't want to give up, but it's so frustrating. I love actually being able to nurse my LO again without her having to have a bottle supplement, that's awesome. But now she is not sleeping through the night anymore, and nursing a lot longer than when she did use to wake up. I thought it was a growth spurt, but it's been constantly for over a week now.

    any ideas, i'm out of them...

    and can someone explain power pumping to me?

    thanks ladies!!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    Maine
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    Default Re: Feel like I'm failing as a mother...please help

    You are an awesome mommy! You have done more than most people have to in order to give your LO your milk. If she needs the supplement, you are a good mom for knowing what she needs and providing it for her. I, too, am struggling with supply and the emotions that go with it. It is not easy. s to you.

    I love actually being able to nurse my LO again without her having to have a bottle supplement, that's awesome.
    That is wonderful!!!! Enjoy that time, you have worked so hard for it! IMHO if she wants to nurse more, let her and savor it. That can only help.

    Power pumping: pump for 10 minutes, rest for 10 minutes, alternate for 1 hour. I like to do this during my fave TV shows so I can relax and veg out and not think about the amount. It helps me. I have heard it helps to try to do this around the same time each day.

    You are doing awesome! Keep it up mama!
    2001 2004 2008

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    816

    Default Re: Feel like I'm failing as a mother...please help

    I think you are doing a great job! When I was pumping 3x's a day the most I could ever get was 14oz and it was more often 12oz. Don't beat yourself up about having to add in a supplement. Your LO is still getting a great amount of BM. Be proud of that!

    The night waking may not be just out of hunger. I remember my DD went through a phase about that age when she started teething. She wanted to nurse constantly throughout the night. Those extra sessions might help boost your supply.

    Hang in there mama!
    Last edited by @llli*lilbirdie22; October 8th, 2008 at 11:05 AM.
    I'm Wendi.
    Mom to:
    DD1 7/28/07 for 21 mos and weaned with
    &
    DD2 12/16/09

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    Oklahoma
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    Default Re: Feel like I'm failing as a mother...please help

    Okay short answers, I typed this all before and lost my post.

    If you've read my post previously, you all know that I have had my fair share of struggles with supplies for months now. I am still hanging in there, barely, and pumping 3x a day at work. I am on Reglan, 2x a day. I pump about 10-12 oz total in the 3 sessions at work. Problem is, my LO is eating 6.5 oz bottles. She will be 5 months on the 16th. We started cereal in the morning, about 3 weeks ago. I am going to start cereal at night too. From what I am reading, my LO is not in the norm for being bfed. I have had to supplement her bottles with 1/2 formula, because i am not making enough for her to eat. my stored up supply was diminishing quickly, so i had to do something.
    Try portioning her bottles to 4oz, she may be content after 4oz, but would eat more if it was there IYKWIM. When nursing at home if you HAVE to supplement, use a supplemental nursing system of sorts. PM me for more info on a cheap set up. This will get baby to the breast longer, stimulating more milk production.
    I feel like I am failing as a mother for not giving her enough. I feel bad about her having to have 1/2 formula. I literally have tried just about ever herbal supplement, tea, extra nursings and pumpings, etc. I just can't get it to go up anymore.
    I've BTDT, you are not failing! You are doing the best you can and that all we can ask of ourselves as mothers. I'm on Fenugreek 3 caps 3x per day and Reglan (starting at 4x per day, then 3, then 2, then 1, all in 7 day increments), it seems to be working!!
    What do i do, i don't want to give up, but it's so frustrating. I love actually being able to nurse my LO again without her having to have a bottle supplement, that's awesome. But now she is not sleeping through the night anymore, and nursing a lot longer than when she did use to wake up. I thought it was a growth spurt, but it's been constantly for over a week now.
    Sounds like she may be reverse cycling to try and up your supply at night. It is very common in babes who's moms are away from them during the day. Do you co-sleep? Bringing baby into your bed with you would allow you to get more sleep and for her to get more BM and boost your supply! If you could build your night supply up she may be able to take less BM at daycare, making up for missed feeding when you get home at night.
    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/reverse-cycling.html

    “Only with trust, faith, and support can the woman allow the birth experience to enlighten and empower her.” - Annie Kennedy & Penny Simkin

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    Default Re: Feel like I'm failing as a mother...please help

    Thank you for all of your replies!!! I really appreciate the support. I forgot to mention that we have tried to cut down my LO bottles to 4 oz, and she did not do well with that. I think it is probably teething, I started her on cereal 2x a day at dinner last night, and she still was up in 3 hour increments. And she'll nurse for about 30 minutes now, opposed to her usual 5-10 before. So, I am thinking either serious growth spurt or teething. Either way, I hope it is helping my milk come in more!

    I am goign to try power pumping at lunch time starting tomorrow. I'll be able to do this during the weeks most days, because i take my lunch time to pump. i hope this helps as well, thank you for explaining it to me.

    You all are wonderful!!
    for 1 year ! We are fully weaned... . We kicked deadbeat dad to curb and rocking 2010 on our own! It is what it is!

    May 16, 2008


  6. #6
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
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    Default Re: Feel like I'm failing as a mother...please help

    6.5 ox bottle sound likes she is really being overfed. The outside MOST that a 4month old should be eating in a 24hour period is 32-36oz. Are you still feeding her while together? Because that 20oz in the 8-10 hours you are away from her at work? That sound really really lopsided. Who takes care of her while you are away from her? Do you EBF on the weekends or the days you are together? Because often DCP assume a baby needs more than they do. And a bottle fed child learns to drink until a bottle is gone. So I would really re look at the 4 possibly 5oz bottle while away. But if she is getting more than 36oz in a 24hour period your over feeding and that is probably contributing to this feeling of you not making enough. Not that there won't be supply issues. If you supplement your body can't get the signals it needs to make enough. But your out put during the day actually sounds very normal for a pumping mother. I'd look at how much she is being fed during the day.

    Way too lazy for formula

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    Default Re: Feel like I'm failing as a mother...please help

    thank you for your information...i will re-look at the amount that she is eating during the day. yes, i do EBF when we are together, at night and on weekends. We have tried a few times to give her lower amount but she seems to get very upset and acts very hungry even when i try to distract her. She doesn't always take the full 6.5 right away, she can take some in the beginning, and then she will want an ounce or 2 before she goes to sleep. which totals the 6.5 bottle.
    for 1 year ! We are fully weaned... . We kicked deadbeat dad to curb and rocking 2010 on our own! It is what it is!

    May 16, 2008


  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Mississippi
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    Default Re: Feel like I'm failing as a mother...please help

    Hi I felt like I was having the same problem and I don't really have time to pump three times at work so I pump before I go to work and once at work and then if not enough I pump when I get home. But my baby also takes 3 bottles at DC. She will drink 7 oz if I let her but she doesn't usually cry if I give her less but she will keep sucking on an empty bottle. I wouldn't worry too much if she is still getting enough wet and poopy diapers. How are they? That is when I would worry more about supply. My lo has also for the last week started nursing more at night. Five times last night. I have ended up cosleeping most of the night so that I can sleep while she eats. I am trying to EBF for 6 months but I have read that you can feed a little mashed banana to hold her off until you can get her if she starts getting too fussy. Hope that helps! don't give up!
    First time mom to Kaylee
    at work and all other times
    GOAL: 3 months... 6 months... 9 months ...12 months...

  9. #9

    Default Re: Feel like I'm failing as a mother...please help

    I learned from my LC that prolactin levels are highest overnight so BFing overnight does more for increasing supply than BFing at other times. Also, I recently used skin to skin to increase supply. (spent 48 hrs having as much skin contact with babe, including overnight). That, along with herbs (Goats Rue from Motherlove, blessed thistle, fenugreek, and mother's milk tea) as well as recent addition of Domperidone Rx and power pumping, frequent emptying of breast, especially after feedings, and hand expression of milk are all helping me to increase my supply. I dread the day my dtr needs 6 oz at one feeding! It can take me three pumping sessions over 6-8 hrs to get that much!
    If you can, I'd highly recommend finding an IBCLC to help with these issues. Mine identified a tongue tie that was the cause of a poor latch from day one, leading to supplementing before leaving the hospital and as a result never getting a good supply of bmilk started!!
    You are doing the best you can for your little one and that makes you a great mom!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    136

    Default Re: Feel like I'm failing as a mother...please help

    I am feeling a little better, because she took less milk today on her own from the bottles that my mom gives her. She has been waking up 2x at night and i will bring her to bed with me. We don't have a big bed, so I don't co-sleep all night long, just when she wakes up to nurse. A lot of times, i leave her in bed after she wakes up the 2nd time, because i wake up at 4:30 anyways. i just love having her next to me now...i was one of those moms that SWORE i would not co sleep. i love it though, when i can!

    I think I'll slowly drop her bottles down to 6oz and then 5.5 to see if she will take less. we started on cereal in the mornings about a month ago. I am hoping that is helping. This morning was the first morning that she refused a bottle from my hubby, because she knew i was there, and nursed from me, which made me late for work, but i have to admit that i loved it!

    i have only power pumped once, i am going to start on that more this week as well at work over my lunch hour, but i can't do a full hour...almost though.

    thank you so much, i'll keep you all posted!
    for 1 year ! We are fully weaned... . We kicked deadbeat dad to curb and rocking 2010 on our own! It is what it is!

    May 16, 2008


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