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Thread: i need help: want to wean 15 month old

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    368

    Default i need help: want to wean 15 month old

    hi, ladies. a while back (around 13 months), i thought alasdair was weaning himself. i was excited. well, for the past month and a half things have suddenly changed directions, which i've heard can be totally normal (molars, etc.)

    the thing is, i'm turning into a crazy women. i'm 12 weeks pregnant, in desperate need of sleep, and all of my time is spent responding to alasdair's constant desire for "mee-mee, mee-mee."

    he eats ALL night, i feel like. at least 8 times, long sessions too.

    please help. any guidance for gently weaning him. should i start weaning for naps, then work to night? any thoughts would be really helpful.

    thank you.
    ... mama to alasdair jonas, fifteen days late and (finally) born all natural on june 24, 2007.

    check out my organic baby goods: www.inkpony.etsy.com
    and coming along with using cloth dipes.yay.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    1,710

    Default Re: i need help: want to wean 15 month old

    Have you looked at the Dr. Jay Gordon method? This might work for your need to get a little sleep. I don't have advice about weaning per se, not being there myself yet.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    368

    Default Re: i need help: want to wean 15 month old

    thank you for the suggestion. i have, however when it was working well a couple months ago suddenly our schedule got crazy with guests + sicknesses, and everything reverted.
    now i feel like maybe i could nurse him to sleep, then let my husband be with him through the night. really. it's nuts. my shirt is so stretched out this morning from his constant tugging throughout the night.
    and if i'm with him, i feed him---
    ah, crazy cycles.

    during the day i'm really trying to use distraction. i find that i can't sit down, cause he associates that with nursing. if i sit and he climbs onto my lap and asks for milk i offer cheese or snack.
    usually it works---
    not when he's tired.

    i'm so tired.
    ... mama to alasdair jonas, fifteen days late and (finally) born all natural on june 24, 2007.

    check out my organic baby goods: www.inkpony.etsy.com
    and coming along with using cloth dipes.yay.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Default Re: i need help: want to wean 15 month old

    Honeslty I wouldn't try to night wean if I knew my child was breaking molars because that signifies an actuall NEED for night nursing rather than comfort. The child is actually experiencing pain and not going to him in the night at this point would probably involve some pretty heavy CIO.
    However, the thing that I think has been the strongest contributor to STTN is separate sleep space. So nurse him down and then leave that room and you go sleep somewhere else. Because if he can't smell you he won't wake up as often. Again if his molars are breaking I honestly don't expect him to STTN. But if you are waking up 8x to feed him (which is how often my son woke every time he was teething so it sounds about right) if you could get it down to 3x a night and start getting 3hr blocks again you'd probably be feeling much more forgiving.
    I strongly suggest separate sleep space. And if you have a child who won't fall asleep until you do, get your partners help. My DH would come check on us in an hour, if we were both out he'd wake me to move. If we fell asleep on the couch he'd move the baby.
    HTH! Good luck.

    Way too lazy for formula

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    1,081

    Default Re: i need help: want to wean 15 month old

    I agree with pp - try to create some distance between the two of you during sleeping. If he isn't comfortable sleeping in a separate room from you, try just a separate sleeping space in the same room. My daughter doesn't nurse at night anymore, but she sleeps much better in our bed - she just likes to reach over and touch us during the night. So for her, our bed was better than trying to keep her in her room. You'll have to figure out what's best for your situation.

    I completely understand what you're going through with being pregnant and tired - I'm 15 weeks pregnant now. A suggestion is maybe taking a nap during the daytime if that's possible and if not, going to bed early. Earlier in this pregnancy I was going to sleep at 8/8:30pm because I was so tired. (She's only been sttn for the last 2 weeks or if she wakes up it's to find her pacifier and baby).

    I feel like trying to nightwean a 15 month old whose teething isn't a good option. I think it's good to distract him during the datime and when he's o.k. with that you could try offering him other types of comfort at night instead of nursing. I would try to nap during the daytime, go to bed early, and seperate sleep spaces before trying the Dr. Jay Gordon method. I'm not against this method, I just think he's a little young and with teething and all it's probably best to wait a bit. I used a modified version of this method when my daughter was 18 months and it works but timing is everything for your child. We went back to night nursing when she was sick or we were traveling and then it was really easy to stop it again.

    Hang in there and see if some of these other changes will help!
    Mommy to:

    Emmalynn Marie
    Born at 37 weeks on 12/22/06
    5lbs 1oz 19 1/2in

    Owen Charles
    Born at 29 wks 6 days on 01/17/09
    2lbs 14oz 15in
    In NICU for 2 months


  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    1,710

    Default Re: i need help: want to wean 15 month old

    I totally understand about the reverting due to crazy schedules. We've been there too. I absolutely agree with the previous posters about separate spaces, if that's something you're up for (I got the impression maybe it wasn't). But I wouldn't necessarily jump to teething. We keeping thinking DS is teething whenever he's not sleeping as well as usual, but many months have gone by with no molars. Maybe he's responding to the changes and stressed in your life right now.

    We're at a stage now where he's sleeping in a separate room most of the night, and if he wakes up, daddy goes in first. If he's just NOT going to go back to sleep otherwise, then I get up and deal. Then in the early morning, he comes back to bed with us. I do think with him that age and you pregnant, you shouldn't feel guilty about needing a little time to sleep at night, if that's what you're looking for. But every child/family is different. Good luck.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2007
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    London
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    Default Re: i need help: want to wean 15 month old

    Gee Mumma sounds like you are at the end of your tether. Pregnant and BF can be tough. I think it is important that you respect his needs, but you really look after yourself as well. Teething can be really painfull and BF definately helps, but if you are overtired, stressed and irratable than it wont be doing any favours to you, your son or the new baby.
    Only you can tell if it is too much for you to cope with. Im sure there are other Mummas that have weaned because they were pregnant and finding it all too much. Whatever happens make sure you check in here for support.
    Karli, Besotted mother of Ashley,8lb 9oz - 9th May 2007 and Fae 8lb 11oz 17th Feb 2010, both born at home, naturally.



    Nappy-free @ 18 months EC'ing rocks!
    Just leave it alone.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    368

    Default Re: i need help: want to wean 15 month old

    thanks, all, for the suggestions + posts. my dh has been sleeping with alasdair in a separate room for the past five nights, three of which i have enjoyed absolutely blissful 4-5 hour stretches of sleep. wow. i never knew it was possible... that it would ever return.
    alasdair sleeps great with him, too. generally, i put him to sleep (nurse) around 9-9:30 (late, i know), then i head in when i hear "the knock" on the wall, which is usually around 5:30. he nurses, then we sleep together until 8:30 or so. nursing a couple times, maybe.

    now, on top of molars, he's sick. poor guy. we're all sick, actually. so, schedules go out the window and i'm just doing my best to keep him healthy and happy.

    i think the separate sleeping space is going to be beneficial. he runs to that bed, as opposed to ours, when saying 'nye-nye' now. so cute.

    thanks, again, mamas.
    ... mama to alasdair jonas, fifteen days late and (finally) born all natural on june 24, 2007.

    check out my organic baby goods: www.inkpony.etsy.com
    and coming along with using cloth dipes.yay.

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