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Thread: Pressure to "stretch out" feedings......

  1. #1
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    Default Pressure to "stretch out" feedings......

    I was wondering what you guys thought about "stretching out" feedings. My bff tells me just about every time I see her that I should be stretching out my LO's feedings. That when he cries, I should let him cry it out a while and force him to get used to eating less frequently.

    Personally I think it's cruel and if I miss out on the non verbal cues to feed him he can become frantic. And I don't blame him... I know I don't like to feel that "I'm straving" feeling.

    Won't my LO eventually space out his own meal times? He is 3 months today and has already has spaced himself out at night. Last night was his very first 8 hour sleep without any meals (HORRAY!!!). Today he at approximately every 2 hours with a couple of times at closer to a 3 hour stretch, all without my prompting.

    I'm really not sure what to do because my bff said that all the meals will make my baby fat and give him bad eating habits when he gets older. She said it's easier to do it now rather than put him on a diet when he's a little older. She also say's he needs to learn to not demand to eat, that I should control the meal time. That I am "spoiling" him. Should I take her advice?

    My LO age: 3 months today
    My LO weight: approx 12 pounds
    Not really sure of the exact weight, but he fits his 3 month Carter's now and I just started with 12-18 lb pamper swaddlers today.
    Last edited by @llli*jordan-n-mommy; September 28th, 2008 at 01:38 AM. Reason: entering in approximate baby weight

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Pressure to "stretch out" feedings......

    I hope this doesn't come across harsh, but it seems like your friend obviously doesn't know what she's talking about. Breast fed babies are LESS likely to become overweight. Forcing your lo to be on a schedule that you are creating can sometimes cause some big problems. You are NOT spoiling him by feeding him when he is hungry. The thought of that is just ludicrous.

    Is your friend a pediatrician or lactation consultant? If she is not an expert don't treat her like one. Take her comments as just that - comments. HER opinion. Which is an opinion that an expert would definitely disagree with - especially at only 3 months.

    My advice is to feed on demand. Whatever that demand may be. My ds2 is over 6 months and still nurses every 2 hours. Follow your son's lead. Your son and your body know what to do.
    Last edited by @llli*sch.mommy; September 28th, 2008 at 04:48 AM.
    ~Jenn~


    mother of 2 boys!
    08/14/98~~03/20/08

    Birth: 7lbs 12oz, 1 year: 22lbs 11oz
    until he self-weaned 4 days before his third birthday ... still on occasion ... and happily

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *****************
    People need to understand that when they're deciding between breastmilk and formula, they're not deciding between Coke and Pepsi.... They're choosing between a live, pure substance and a dead substance made with the cheapest oils available. ~Chele Marmet

  3. #3
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: Pressure to "stretch out" feedings......

    yup if baby is sleeping well at night, then they are going to need extra feeds during the day to make weight gain.

    you know your babies needs best.

  4. #4
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    May 2006
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    Default Re: Pressure to "stretch out" feedings......

    Your friend is wrong. Wrong, wrong, WRONG.

    And you are right. Crying is a late hunger cue. Allowing a baby to reach that frantic screaming stage is cruel. Give your baby time and he will eventually space out his meals all by himself. Feeding on demand during the day is probably the reason why your baby is sleeping through at night, since he's getting enough calories during the day.

    Breastfeeding will not teach your baby bad eating habits or make him into a fat child. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends feeding on demand as the way to go for breastfed babies, and says that to do otherwise is dangerous to the baby. (You can read the AAP media alert on the subject here.) There are actually a fair number of scientific studies that find that breastfed babies are less likely to become obese than formula-fed babies. (Here is an abstract from the prestigious medical journal The Lancet as an example. There are many more.)

    I don't know if there's scientific evidence for it, but I suspect that scheduled feedings are more likely to ingrain poor eating habits than demand feedings. Think about it: if you starve yourself for a long time and then sit down to a meal, you're a lot more likely to gorge yourself than if you ate sensibly when hungry, right?

    The next time your friend pressures you on this subject, you might want to look at her and say "My baby is happy and I'm happy. I see no reason to change what we're doing. I appreciate your advice, but I disagree with it. So let's not discuss this any more."
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Pressure to "stretch out" feedings......

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*jordan-n-mommy View Post
    I was wondering what you guys thought about "stretching out" feedings. My bff tells me just about every time I see her that I should be stretching out my LO's feedings. That when he cries, I should let him cry it out a while and force him to get used to eating less frequently.

    Personally I think it's cruel and if I miss out on the non verbal cues to feed him he can become frantic. And I don't blame him... I know I don't like to feel that "I'm straving" feeling. Listen to your heart, not your friend.

    Won't my LO eventually space out his own meal times? YES He is 3 months today and has already has spaced himself out at night. Last night was his very first 8 hour sleep without any meals (HORRAY!!!). Today he at approximately every 2 hours with a couple of times at closer to a 3 hour stretch, all without my prompting.

    I'm really not sure what to do because my bff said that all the meals will make my baby fat and give him bad eating habits when he gets older. So false She said it's easier to do it now rather than put him on a diet when he's a little older. She also say's he needs to learn to not demand to eat, that I should control the meal time. Again, false...you are teaching him to eat when he feels hungry not when someone else tells him to eat. You are teaching your lo to listen to his internal hunger cues so he is less likely to eat because of external cues (like advertising). That I am "spoiling" him. Should I take her advice? A 3 month old cannot be spoiled.

    My LO age: 3 months today
    My LO weight: approx 12 pounds
    Not really sure of the exact weight, but he fits his 3 month Carter's now and I just started with 12-18 lb pamper swaddlers today.

    Dr. Sears has a couple of books that might be helpful..The Breastfeeding Book and/or The Baby Book and/or the Attachment Parenting book.
    Here is a link to one of his article's, a story about parenting styles.
    http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T131200.asp


    also, your lo may be getting ready for a growth spurt. They are typical at 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months and 6 months. If your lo suddenly wants to nurse more often, please do not take that as a sign that your friend is correct. It is simply your babies way of telling your body to make more milk, while he is in the growth spurt. It will pass.
    Proud mom of 2 boys, both weaned gradually and with love.


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    For each and every one of us, the person from whom we can learn the most is our own baby: listen to him. - Mary White, LLL co-founder

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    Murray Straus, Ph.D.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Pressure to "stretch out" feedings......



    With everything pp said!

    It's hard when we hear opinions like this from friends who we normally see eye to eye with on other topics, but let me just repeat...it is just her opinion, and every piece of research regarding demand feeding that I have ever read (I'm a student midwife here in Canada), completely disagrees with what she is telling you. Listen to your baby, not your friend.

    Sounds like you're doing a great job mama!
    Jess

    Mama to my little Roxie Roo, 06/11/08


    April miles for TBTTW: 63

  7. #7
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    Sep 2008
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    Default Re: Pressure to "stretch out" feedings......

    Hi! I know you have received a lot of responses but I have to tell you my experience really quick... I kind of ran into the same thing but it was my mom telling me not a friend... I listened and my milk supply went down DRASTICALLY!! My little guy is 7 weeks and at 2 and 3 weeks he was sleeping 4 hr increments. When I did that, he was almost one month old and he started to wake up every 2 hrs. wanting to eat and every feeding was this frantic, pulling, arching of the back, limbs flying in the air experience... it was awful. That lasted all of one week and then I went back to feeding on demand. My milk supply is great!! and he's back to sleeping 4 hrs. at a time during the night.

    Oh and by the way, every baby is different. My little guy is 7 weeks and weighs a little more than 11lbs and he's NOT fat at all, he doesn't even have rolls on his legs!! :-) So I think you should just do what you feel is right... don't listen to anyone other than your pediatrician
    !

  8. #8
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    Jan 2008
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    Default Re: Pressure to "stretch out" feedings......

    This is just one of many, many, many times you are bound to encounter advice that contradicts your mothering instincts. I'm glad you could sense that what your BFF was suggesting isn't right for your LO, and just try to remember that the only person who can make those decisions for you is you.
    Karen

    Proud mama to
    Kaitlyn Ann 12/23/07 - 7 lbs., 15 oz.
    11/09
    Jackson Thomas 1/16/11 - 9 lbs., 3 oz.


  9. #9
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    Default Re: Pressure to "stretch out" feedings......

    I'm Hillary
    Wife to Gualberto
    Mom to Nolan
    Born at 32 weeks-3lbs/10oz
    11-25-2007
    Our precious early angel


    Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being ~ Kittie Frantz
    Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth ~ Albert Einstein
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  10. #10
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    Default Re: Pressure to "stretch out" feedings......

    with PP

    i dont know who told her that..
    even your pedi would not advise that. make sure your friend is not doing that to her LOs!
    Student aspiring to be a Chiropractor and mother to Noah who will be 3 in July and Olivia who will be 2 in Aug.

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