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That really got me to thinking about whether or not that was what I wanted. Did I want my child to know that I was his mom and know that I would meet all his needs? Did I think it was normal and natural for a child to be attached to his mother? Did I think that the attachment my son got through my breastfeeding him was beneficial to him? And what about the alternative...a non-attached child who was formula fed?
I bet you can guess how I answered those questions....
Anyway, my point is that I realized that I wasn't ok with minimizing my attachment with my child and giving up the benefits of breastfeeding so that a dcp could actually take my place and attach to them instead. I mean, I wanted my son to love and trust his dcp, but I wasn't about to sacrifice my place for theirs iykwim, and I didn't think that it was right to give up a part of our relationship for that to happen, even though that's what one dcp thought should happen.
Needless to say, we switched dcps to a wonderful one, and I ended up being a sahm after that.
My opinion, is that a daycare provider has no right asking you to give up a part of your relationship with your child so that she can step in and take your place. That's how I view a request for me to stop bfing my child in that situation. A daycare provider should instead, be trying to cultivate her own relationship with the child, just like a trusted friend of the family, or aunt or grandma does. Friends and family spend time with the child, they care for them, pay special attention to them, play with them, and in doing so, develop their own unique relationship with the child that is not the same as the mom's relationship with the child. That's what I expect from a dcp, but sometimes that takes some work.
I'd suggest you find other care if your dcp doesn't want to put forth the necessary work in truly bonding with your child. Your relationship with your child won't interfere with them bonding with your child.
You might find this about independence from Dr. Sears helpful. http://askdrsears.com/html/10/t131500.asp
DS 1/2006 9 lb. 2 oz. 22 in.
DD 10/2008 8 lb, 2 oz. 20 in.
As a daycare provider, I can tell you that breastfeeding may not have anything to do with it at all. I have only had one baby ever who was breastfed, but I have several formula fed babies and toddlers who cried all day and had a difficult time adjusting. A good daycare provider will work with you and your child to find the best way possible to soothe your baby and make the transition easier for all involved.
Don't let someone's credentials on the wall determine what is best for your baby.
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Last edited by @llli*naw.pan; September 26th, 2008 at 01:14 PM.
Well - I've found that continuing to breastfeed has been an important part of reconnecting with my DS at the end of the day. Breastfeeding is about so much more than nutrition, its also about bonding and closeness. My DS asks for "mommy milk" as soon as we get home, and for him its a way to be close to mommy and get lots of love and snuggles after being apart for several hours.
Extended breastfeeding fact sheet.
Perhaps show this to your partner?
I'm also in Winnipeg right now, so I now what you're talking about with the daycare crunch. There are definitely daycares out there that are supportive of continuing to breastfeed. I sometimes sit in the big chair in the infant room and nurse my 21 month old, and they are very supportive, sometimes suggesting it if DS is asking to nurse.
If you think this place is good in other ways, I would just tell her that you appreciate her advice, but you're convinced that continuing to nurse him is in his best interest. Maybe show some of the literature that others have posted already. Good luck.