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Thread: Made the decision - going cold turkey

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    29

    Default Made the decision - going cold turkey

    I've decided to stop nursing this week. Joci is 18 months old and whenever I'm home (I'm usually out of the house 10-12 hrs a day for work) she is asking to nurse every 10 minutes. It's gotten to the point that I don't sit on the couch at night because she associates sitting on the couch with nursing. I stopped pumping when she turned one because she never really liked bottles and I ended up with ~150+ ounces that I had to waste. When I've traveled for work, she's been ok with not nursing during the night, but when I'm home she wants to nurse 3-5 times per night. She's still in our bed and I'd like to transition her to sharing a room/bed with her 4 1/2 yr old sister.

    So, I'd like some words of reassurance from those that have gone cold turkey - I know the next week will be miserable, but I think it's what we need to do.

  2. #2

    Default Re: Made the decision - going cold turkey

    Hon, I really want everything to work out well for you, I do....but I'd like to urge you NOT to go cold turkey unless you have to.

    It's traumatic both physically and emotionally, and could lead you to have plugged ducts and even mastitis.

    Since you're out of the house every day for such a long time, (10-12 hours), she is trying to re-connect with you by nursing. It's one of the major ways that she feels love from you. You going cold turkey and cutting that off will no doubt be very emotionally traumatic for her.

    Before you wean her, it would really benefit her for you to set limits on nursing and teach her other ways for you to emotionally connect with her after you come home after such a long time. It's not easy to wean, but it will be much more gentle if you teach her other ways you can comfort her first. Once you have a few tried and true ways to connect with her without nursing, weaning will be much easier for the 2 of you even if you choose to go cold turkey at that point.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    18,063

    Default Re: Made the decision - going cold turkey

    she very young yet too....
    in the next 6 months shes going to understand alot more.
    It's ok to set limits at that age.

    Try moving her out of your bed and with more sleep you might feal beter about keeping 1 or 2 nursings a day.

    What kept me nursing with my dd was flu season!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    1,780

    Default Re: Made the decision - going cold turkey

    with both of the above.

    Have you tried distraction when she is doing the every ten minutes thing? Or try singing a song and when the song is over, so is that session?

    Good luck!
    Kelly

    Mommy to Gabriel born 12/25/06 Breastfed 12/25/06 - 12/09 and possibly here and there still
    Madelyn born 9/24/09 delivered at home and caught by my husband

    "To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right."

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    1,081

    Default Re: Made the decision - going cold turkey

    with pp's also.

    And about the reconnection part - maybe you could try wearing her so she's close to you while you get things done. She might settle for being held some of the times she's asking to nurse. When my daughter was that age and she was asking to nurse a lot, sometimes I would tell her she could nurse after we played with some of her toys/read a book/sang some songs, etc. so that she understood we can do lots of things together to reconnect.

    And her nursing so frequently when you are together could just be a phase too - she might have some teeth coming in/getting ready to come in and nursing will help with the discomfort. Try to set some limits around nursing and see if over time, that helps you feel better and have a more gradual weaning, which will be beneficial for both of you.

    Mommy to:

    Emmalynn Marie
    Born at 37 weeks on 12/22/06
    5lbs 1oz 19 1/2in

    Owen Charles
    Born at 29 wks 6 days on 01/17/09
    2lbs 14oz 15in
    In NICU for 2 months


  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    1,710

    Default Re: Made the decision - going cold turkey

    I agree with all the previous posters. She's old enough to start learning about having to wait for things. You can start to do things like night-wean her or tell her to wait until you're ready. But going cold turkey could be very traumatic (for both of you).

    I was where you are just a few weeks ago (I have a post in her somewhere about it). Now I'm suddenly finding he'll go to sleep on his own without nursing in my arms, and the other night he even got into his crib awake and fell asleep without me in the room! And his rate of asking to nurse has decreased dramatically just in the past few weeks.

    Hang in there, it WILL come.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    29

    Default Re: Made the decision - going cold turkey

    Yeah - the cold turkey thing lasted about 10 minutes. I don't have it in me to listen to her be so upset. We talked with the pediatrician today and I am going to try to set some limits about when she can nurse while I'm home. Maybe if I don't feel like a 24 hr dairy, we'll make it to the spring.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    miles from nowhere
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    Default Re: Made the decision - going cold turkey

    It definitely helped me to set limits, and use distraction to interest my toddler in other things when I was feeling over-nursed. Your lo is at a great age to start, she should really be able to understand when you tell her "no milk right now, lets have a snack instead" or whatever method you use.

    Good luck! The mamas here have a lot of great ideas about how to set limits so you don't go crazy trying to keep up with your toddler's demands.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    1,987

    Default Re: Made the decision - going cold turkey

    The book, How Weaning Happens is a great resource. It has a lot of ideas from moms about how they gently helped their los wean. I walked away from reading it realizing that weaning is a mother/child dance that can take a lot of time.
    DS 1/2006 9 lb. 2 oz. 22 in.
    DD 10/2008 8 lb, 2 oz. 20 in.

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