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Thread: Help! How to wean?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Virginia Beach, VA
    Posts
    45

    Question Help! How to wean?

    My daughter is 13 months old and my plan was to start weaning her when she turned 1 year old. I have been trying to cut out at least one breastfeeding session (she currently breastfeeds about 4 times a day) for the last month and she is not allowing me to do it. My question is, should I just let her cry it out? Right now I'm trying to cut out the afternoon breastfeeding session which is right before her afternoon nap. She just refuses to take a cup of milk. I have a hard time putting in her crib and letting her cry it out when I know that she just wants mommy! Should I change the session that I'm trying to cut out?

    Any help would be great! I want to have another child fairly soon so I definitely want my daughter to be completely weaned from breastfeeding before the next baby comes.
    First-time mommy to Danielle 8/16/07
    Wife to Mike 9/29/01

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    185

    Default Re: Help! How to wean?

    Sometimes, the best thing to do is to back off of the weaning thing for a little while. It can become a real issue and make the child cling even more to nursing. They can view it as very scary and threatening or like a "rejection" even though it's not. After a few weeks, you can always try again.
    Also, maybe another feeding would be easier if this one if very important.
    It's very important to replace the nursing session with something - I know you said she won't take a cup of milk. But sometimes the nursing is more about connection to mom and closeness. So, what if you did something totally different from nursing (no sitting around because that makes it very available and tempting), but an activity that she really likes and looks forward to? A very special food, playing outside with bubbles, etc.
    Make sure she knows that by giving up the nursing session, she's not giving up her special time and bond with mom.
    I would also like to say that a lot will change in the next few months, and it's entirely possible that she would cut out more nursings gradually on her own. Especially if you try the "don't offer, don't refuse" method accompanied by an attempt at distraction or replacement when she does ask.
    My daughter was still nursing at 20 mos when I got pregnant with #2 and it was actually a blessing. It was easier for me to deal with her when I was exhausted and nauseous, and I knew she would be still and not destroy something for a few minutes. She pretty much stopped nursing when my milk supply dried up slowly in the last trimester, so it's been a really gradual and gentle weaning process.
    So, I'd try the "don't offer, don't refuse" for a few weeks since she seems really resisting and reevaluate the situation for any progress.
    Erin
    Mom to Laura (3/1/06)

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    NoVA
    Posts
    1,535

    Default Re: Help! How to wean?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*laurasmom View Post
    Sometimes, the best thing to do is to back off of the weaning thing for a little while. It can become a real issue and make the child cling even more to nursing. They can view it as very scary and threatening or like a "rejection" even though it's not. After a few weeks, you can always try again.
    Also, maybe another feeding would be easier if this one if very important.
    It's very important to replace the nursing session with something - I know you said she won't take a cup of milk. But sometimes the nursing is more about connection to mom and closeness. So, what if you did something totally different from nursing (no sitting around because that makes it very available and tempting), but an activity that she really likes and looks forward to? A very special food, playing outside with bubbles, etc.
    Make sure she knows that by giving up the nursing session, she's not giving up her special time and bond with mom.
    I would also like to say that a lot will change in the next few months, and it's entirely possible that she would cut out more nursings gradually on her own. Especially if you try the "don't offer, don't refuse" method accompanied by an attempt at distraction or replacement when she does ask.
    My daughter was still nursing at 20 mos when I got pregnant with #2 and it was actually a blessing. It was easier for me to deal with her when I was exhausted and nauseous, and I knew she would be still and not destroy something for a few minutes. She pretty much stopped nursing when my milk supply dried up slowly in the last trimester, so it's been a really gradual and gentle weaning process.
    So, I'd try the "don't offer, don't refuse" for a few weeks since she seems really resisting and reevaluate the situation for any progress.
    I just wanted to say this is a really great answer. Perhaps she's seeing it as a rejection, when all she needs is that special time with you. Replacing nursing sessions with lots of love, cuddles, and nutritious foods is important for her!
    Jessica
    LLL Leader

    Breastfeeding is an instinctual and natural act, but it is also an art that is learned day by day.

    Visit LLL of Ashburn PM's Blog!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
    Posts
    17,424

    Default Re: Help! How to wean?

    I think the sessions that are not connected to going to sleep are easier to get rid of. You said you nurse four times a day. Are two to go to sleep and two to wake up? If so I'd try to work on making the wake up from nap session SHORTER at 2st by talking about all the fun things you are going ot do now that she's awake, is she at the point where she gets out of bed and comes looking for you when she wakes up? or is she crying for you when she wakes? Because if she come looking for you, maybe after getting her used to "let's go we have SOO much to do!" you can start getting her up and feeding her right away or changing her diaper and putting her in the stroller or car and distracting her that way. HTH!

    Way too lazy for formula

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    18,063

    Default Re: Help! How to wean?

    yup try another session....

    IF nursing to sleep is still working don't mess that up!

    remember too as long as she's getting 3-4 good feeds in 24 hours she doesn't need suppliments of formula or cows milk.

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