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Thread: Why do people push solids?! -- VENT

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    Default Why do people push solids?! -- VENT

    I'm a relactating mother so DS is currently formula fed.

    My family has been on me about solids since DS was 3 months old. He was on cereal for reflux (started cereal when he was 3 weeks old) but we recently weaned him off of it and he's been sooo much happier!

    DS is now 4 months old and I would LOVE to wait until he's 6 or 7 months old before introducing any foods. Heck, I'd love for him to be even older, as long as he's still growing well.

    My favorite comment is 'well, he's eating too much formula'. That one comes from my mom and wait a minute, solids don't REPLACE feedings until a baby is much older, right? And is 5-6 oz every 3-4 hours really too much? Not according to the ped. And he sleeps through the night, every night. Or how about 'you're starving that child just because you want to be right'... what the heck???

    Now, this is the mother who talked me out of nursing when DS was born. He had jaundice and didn't want to nurse and she was in my ear telling me that I was starving him and that his jaundice wouldn't get any better until I fed him some 'real food'. I regret that decision (hence the relactation) now and am determined not to listen to anyone ever again when it comes to my child (Except the ped, of course). But now, I can't let anyone else watch him! My mom has, on 2 occasions, gave him 'tastes' of foods. And both times, I was with him... Actually the one time I had him on by body in a wrap! She's given him tastes of chocolate icing (at 3 months) and ice cream (at 4 months). We believe he had a reaction to the ice cream... Or it backed him up big time... He threw up for a whole day and wouldn't even keep water down.

    Anywoo... I just really needed to ask that mondo question... Why does everyone push the solids? What is wrong with extended and exclusive breastfeeding or bottle feeding? If a baby is thriving and happy, what is the issue? I feel like I'm the only one with the 'don't rock the boat' mindset. I mean, if it's not broke, why try to fix it?

    Okay, sorry... I just had to get that off my chest... Everytime I talk to my mom or grandma the first thing they ask is 'are you feeding that baby real food yet?'

    Okay, I'm done... Thanks for the vent!

    Oh, I might want to mention that my ped says that the 4-6 month thing is only a guidline and since my DS is thriving (he was 5lbs 11oz at birth and is 15lbs now at 4 months) well, there is no need to start any solids until he either needs them or is ready for them.

  2. #2
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    Apr 2006
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    Default Re: Why do people push solids?! -- VENT

    Or how about 'you're starving that child just because you want to be right'... what the heck???
    What do they mean with this? Is this b/c your PPD? Do they think they're actually helping you? They need to either help you or get off your back! As much as you love them if they're making yourself feel worse than you already feel you need to stay away from them at least for a while, KWIM?

    Anywoo... I just really needed to ask that mondo question... Why does everyone push the solids? What is wrong with extended and exclusive breastfeeding or bottle feeding? If a baby is thriving and happy, what is the issue? I feel like I'm the only one with the 'don't rock the boat' mindset. I mean, if it's not broke, why try to fix it?
    I ask myself the same question, who asked for their opinion anyway. They already had their mothering time, now it's your turn and you make the choices not them, I could go on and on about this but I ain't got all night.

    It sounds as you got a good ped, that's so great! Your baby will be ready when he wants too, not when your family wants.

    Take care!

  3. #3
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    Jun 2006
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    Default Re: Why do people push solids?! -- VENT

    Quote Originally Posted by Mama2Caleb2006
    She's given him tastes of chocolate icing (at 3 months) and ice cream (at 4 months).
    All I can say is I totally understand why you don't want them watching him. My friend joked the other day about giving my dd icecream and I said, "Only if you want to see the wrath of mommy" Joking was a good way to get the point across without being weird or rude.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mama2Caleb2006
    Okay, sorry... I just had to get that off my chest... Everytime I talk to my mom or grandma the first thing they ask is 'are you feeding that baby real food yet?'
    I think that would be hard... Have you tried just changing the subject? Maybe if you say, "so, mom, how's dad doing?", or "hey grandma, how's the knitting going?" every time they ask that they'll get a clue.


  4. #4
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    Feb 2006
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    Default Re: Why do people push solids?! -- VENT

    i totally understand why you won't want your mum watching ds... i wouldn't either! my mum hasn't tried to feed my ds who's 8 mos old now only becos i'm always with him. BUT she is constantly asking me to feed him unpolished rice, egg, porridge, blah blah blah. and hinting that i don't have enough bm for him.

    ain't listening to anyone except the pd and myself. so now, i'm only feeding him vegetables. take your time!

  5. #5
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    Feb 2006
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    Default Re: Why do people push solids?! -- VENT

    I don't understand the rush to solids either. It's just one huge pain in my bum. I started him after 5months because he had been begging for weeks and just seemed desperately interested. He loved it for the first few weeks, but now it's a battle to get him to eat. Not to mention how much time it takes!

    There seem to be varying opinions on when it's best to start solids. My mother is fond of telling me that I was on cereal at 2 months. It clearly didn't hurt me, but today the thinking is a little different. Some say 4 -6 and some say later. I guess you just inform yourself and then try to figure out what's best for you and your baby. And then stick to your guns!

    There's nothing wrong with advice from family, after all, isn't that what mothers and grandmothers are for? But it's ultimately your responsibility and your choice to do what you want with said advice. Hang in there!

  6. #6
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    Apr 2006
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    Default Re: Why do people push solids?! -- VENT

    Quote Originally Posted by pipsmom
    There seem to be varying opinions on when it's best to start solids. My mother is fond of telling me that I was on cereal at 2 months. It clearly didn't hurt me, but today the thinking is a little different. Some say 4 -6 and some say later. I guess you just inform yourself and then try to figure out what's best for you and your baby. And then stick to your guns!
    Great advise!

  7. #7
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: Why do people push solids?! -- VENT

    Quote Originally Posted by Mama2Caleb2006
    I'are you feeding that baby real food yet?'.
    You could always say that you are trying but the relaction is not going 100 percent yet, that might throw them off for awhile. (Not trying to say anything agaist formula per se, just trying to confuse the family ).


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  8. #8
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    Aug 2006
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    Default Re: Why do people push solids?! -- VENT

    Angi, I wish I could... My family is so anti-bfing though.. I have kept my relactation efforts under wraps. At least until things are better established. I let my mother talk me out of it the first time... I'm stronger this time but I so don't need the extra burden's of the 'i told you so' if it doesn't work out.

    Thanks for the thoughts ladies!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    320

    Default Re: Why do people push solids?! -- VENT

    Hey you took "my" quote!



    It's a good one though, isn't it?

    I want to say way to go for relactating and keeping it "under wraps". It's not their business anyway, and you need positive support.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    8

    Default Re: Why do people push solids?! -- VENT

    I've been having the same problem with my in-laws about breast milk not being enough. It's so hard to just smile and nod when they say something like , "Oh, he's hungry AGAIN?" Since no one in my husband's family has breastfed exclusively, they don't realize that a breastfed baby eats more often than a formula fed one. I had to endure my father-in-law constantly asking if I had enough milk. My approach is to be polite and quickly change the subject. Now that my ds is 8 weeks and weighs 14 lbs., they've stopped badgering me. Although now the question is, "When are you going to start solids?" My reply, "When the pediatrician recommends it". They can't argue with the doctor.

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