Happy Mothers Breastfed Babies
Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Second Time Mom - Please Help

  1. #1

    Unhappy Second Time Mom - Please Help

    I have an almost 4 week old son and we have been having BFing problems right from the start. He is my second, my first is my 7 year old daughter who I BFed for 14 months. I don't know where or how to start this post, if I confuse you, please forgive me.
    I have large breasts 38D ( 34 D pre pregnancy) and a flat nipple on the left and a very tiny nipple on the right. My son unlike my daughter seems to have a tiny mouth which he hardly opens.
    I struggled really hard the past four weeks. Used a nipple shield first(on the flat nipple side), then decided to stop using it since that seemed to hurt more. I also fed him pumped milk in a bottle but things were not improving so I decided to bear the pain and put him to my breast constantly. Took motrin when I thought I would completely lose it. I am happy to say that we finally are managing to BF. There are plenty of issues tho.
    I still have a lot of pain. The initial latch on sometimes is excruciating enough for me to scream! Most times there is pain throughout the feed but not bad enough for me to scream. My nipple comes out looking badly shaped and I always seem to have sore nipples. I know it might be a bad latch but I just cannot seem to help that. I have watched the videos on Dr. Newman website, I have read as much as I can read on these forums and Kellymom so I dont know what I am doing wrong.
    He gets very frustrated at the breast and never seems to open his mouth wide enough. I hold his head with one hand and I try to pry open his mouth with my nipple and then when I think it is the best he can do, I bring his mouth and my nipple together really fast. I know this probably sounds awful but this is what we have been doing so far.
    Meanwhile I have several other health issues that are making it very tough to bear. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and Sjogrens disease. My pregnancy which was high risk was full of physical and emotional difficulties. Labor which everyone promised would be shorter was actually very very long and I pushed for more than an hr which did not help my already weak body. Thankfully we have been blessed with a healthy baby and I know it was worth every minute! I developed a UTI the first week which has not been resolved yet. My knees, my back, my wrists and my fingers are killing me due to my posture during BFing. I have trouble even walking now it is just getting worse.
    I figured that nursing lying down would help but I am not able to master that either. He cannot seem to find my nipple and as always doesn't open his mouth wide enough. I did try it a few times but he ended up slurping my nipple in and that was no fun! Also nursing hurt a lot more than usual.

    I know this post is all over the place...I don't even know what I am asking here.
    I am trying really hard. I don't want to give up. My husband is so afraid that I am going to hurt my body even more and wants me to pump exclusively. I know that probably makes sense but I am so stubborn about wanting to try this but I also fear what he does and I know that I might be stupid to do this. I need to be healthy for DS. The thought of formula or pumping makes me cry tho.

    Oh please help...am I doing this all wrong? I remember that with my daughter it became so easy and comfortable after a point tho I don't remember when. I loved BFing her but I didnt have the diseases then and was a lot younger and healthier.
    I know a lot my issues will be solved if I can breastfeed lying down, what can I do to help that go smoother? I read that it is easier for large breasted women but I find that it is really tough.
    I am meeting with a lactation consultant next week during my sons first month visit, the nurse practitioner is also a LC.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Surprise, AZ
    Posts
    3,057

    Default Re: Second Time Mom - Please Help

    It does sound like a bad latch. Have you tried putting your nipple in his mouth while he is yawning? I know it sounds a little rough, but it may help.

    I really think you need to have someone watch & see what the exact problem is. Definitely have the LC watch & see what is going wrong.

    When I'm lying down I position my baby where she is right at the nipple & usually hold my nipple so she can get a good angle. I put her body very close to mine & her head a little further away. Sometimes I have to hold right above my nipple to help her latch.

    It may take a little while longer, but it should work itself out to where he's getting a better latch as long as you continue to stick with it. I would avoid giving him bottles at this point to avoid nipple confusion.

    It will be okay if you end up having to pump. You are doing a great thing for your lttle boy. Hang in there!!
    Steff, proud mom to:
    Ian (6) born naturally
    breastfed from 7/3/06 to 6/16/08
    &
    Erin (4) born naturally (with Hypnobirthing)
    breastfed from 5/18/08 to around 5/18/10
    &
    Seamus (3), my allergy baby, born naturally (with slacker Hypnobirthing) breastfed from 12/28/09 to 8/20/11
    &
    Connor (1) breastfed from 12/28/11 to current



    Ian's age ticker Erin's age ticker Seamus' age ticker
    Connor's age ticker


  3. #3

    Default Re: Second Time Mom - Please Help

    Thanks for your reply. Yes, I plan to have the LC check the latch. I forgot to add that he keeps pulling away from the breast many times and I am having to constantly hold his head. He also used to cough and choke which was quite scary to watch. I thought it could be OALD and have been block feeding him. The choking has stopped but he is still pulling away sometimes, especially at night. I do start off with a good enough latch I think , where he does get some part of the areola but he slowly slips closer to the nipple and it starts to get very painful. So I undo the latch and relatch. When he relatchs, the breast is really soft and he kind of chews into it..grinding my breast between his teeth. That is very painful! Has anyone experienced this?


    In the lying down pose, how does one control the baby's head? He keeps moving his head all over the place and I wish I could guide him to my nipple somehow. By the time he gets closer to my nipple he is already so frustrated that he starts wanting to bite anything in sight!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    212

    Default Re: Second Time Mom - Please Help

    Here's how I got my little guy lined up to feed lying down.
    First I got him lying down in the bed on his side, more toward his back than his front. Then I propped myself on my elbow beside him, with my breast sort of hanging above his head. He seemed to latch better with it coming at him from above. Once he latched I would lie down beside him. Now he's big enough to crawl and root around for what he wants.
    I know this sounds confusing, but for me it worked best if I started out above him and then got more comfortable. To control his head, use your top arm (opposite side from the breast he's eating on) to hold his head.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    1,780

    Default Re: Second Time Mom - Please Help

    So glad you are seeing an LC soon! It sounds like a combination of a bad latch, flat nipple and possibly as you mentioned OALD. I didn't get good at the side lying position until ds was a couple months old, and we had no major nursing obstacles!
    ! Remember to take care of yourself too!
    Kelly

    Mommy to Gabriel born 12/25/06 Breastfed 12/25/06 - 12/09 and possibly here and there still
    Madelyn born 9/24/09 delivered at home and caught by my husband

    "To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right."

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    192

    Default Re: Second Time Mom - Please Help

    We had latch issues for a long time and I know how painful/frustrating it can be. Our issues didn't resolve until my LO got a little bigger and was able to open his mouth wider. I hope the LC is able to help and things get better soon. You are doing something wonderful for your ds.
    Stay at home mom to my 2 boys:
    R - born 4/20/08, nursed for 20 months
    G - born 8/6/11, EPd for 4 months, until he refused the bottle!
    Loving CDing this time around!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    TX
    Posts
    2,216

    Default Re: Second Time Mom - Please Help

    We couldn't manage side-lying until my son was almost 3 months old. And he, also, doesn't open his mouth very wide. For us, that was partially due to his tongue tie. It got better when we clipped his frenulum. Also, it has just gotten better on its own with time. Hang in there! It stinks, but it will improve.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Surprise, AZ
    Posts
    3,057

    Default Re: Second Time Mom - Please Help

    From your last reply it really sounds like an OALD & bad latch issue to me too. The way I get mine to latch lying down is by guiding my nipple to her mouth rather then her mouth to my nipple. Sometimes I just have to be a little patient & wait for her to settle down becauae she will be all over the place. Maybe call & see if you can get a sooner appointment with the LC. I know it's very stressful & it might make you feel better to see someone sooner. If not, next week is still pretty soon.
    Steff, proud mom to:
    Ian (6) born naturally
    breastfed from 7/3/06 to 6/16/08
    &
    Erin (4) born naturally (with Hypnobirthing)
    breastfed from 5/18/08 to around 5/18/10
    &
    Seamus (3), my allergy baby, born naturally (with slacker Hypnobirthing) breastfed from 12/28/09 to 8/20/11
    &
    Connor (1) breastfed from 12/28/11 to current



    Ian's age ticker Erin's age ticker Seamus' age ticker
    Connor's age ticker


  9. #9

    Default Re: Second Time Mom - Please Help

    Thank you all for your replies and support and I am sorry about writing back this late, yesterday was just a really tough day.
    We did it! We managed to feed lying down, it does not happen without a lot of struggle but I think one can call it a side lying pose! It still hurts a lot tho. Sometimes a lot more than others. On the flat nipple side it is usually all the time. I feel like he is biting me, I am almost convinced that he has iron gums.
    I have taken an appointment with an LC at his Pediatrician office on Friday. I am really hoping that she helps me a find a way to lessen the pain. On days when I have a flare up, I almost think of giving in to the pump but I really really want this to work.
    Oh and I wanted to add that I am so glad I found this forum. All of you are so supportive and wonderful. People around me who love me cannot understand why I am putting myself through this. Don't get me wrong, I have the best support system I could ask for(my mom is here for several months and my husband is great too) but they don't get why I am so stubborn and honestly I cannot explain it.
    Last edited by @llli*bvbaby; September 17th, 2008 at 09:28 PM.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    106

    Default Re: Second Time Mom - Please Help

    I hope your visit with the lactation consultant goes well. Early on when baby and I did side-lying, I found it best to use a rolled up blanket behind her back and head to help keep her propped on her side.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •