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Thread: So, I thought I would've weaned by now . . .

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2008

    Default So, I thought I would've weaned by now . . .

    But I haven't. My son is almost 14 months old and I spent the whole summer toying with the idea of weaning him. My reasons were mostly that he's a pretty independent sort of kid who I didn't think would miss it all that much and my husband and I have a strong desire to have another child pretty soon (paternal age is a factor). But, I never really got around to it and we were travelling and then a particularly nasty set of teeth came in and . . .

    yada yada yada

    So, I started reading Mothering Your Nursing Toddler by Norma Jean B (something, I forget her last name) because I guess that's what I have now, a nursing toddler and now I'm all energized to let him nurse as long as he likes. The book really opened my eyes to how attachment parenting can work in the toddler years and how breastfeeding remains a pretty essential part of that relationship. Here I am in early fall counting my blessings that I didn't wean him on first impulse.

    My question for those of you who are into your third and fourth year nursing is whether this ambivalence is common or if I just went through a rough patch where I kind of lost the faith? Should I expect to question the decision to keep nursing over and over again? I might sound like I'm making light of it here, but it was actually kind of a heart-wrenching struggle I went through.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!

    Default Re: So, I thought I would've weaned by now . . .

    I have never been through anything I consider heartwrenching in regards to it because I have always known that I would nurse him until he was done, but there is ambivilence for sure. It gets worse obviously when teeth are breaking and night nursing in crease to the point of frustration. The worst bouts of that were actually around 12-14months with the 1st set of molars and the 24-25 months with the 2nd set There are times when it feels like he only likes me for my boobs. Like I can't get him and hold him in my lap without him wanting to nurse. That is irritating. It's always irritating when a guy only likes you for your tits. But for the most part IME when you are getting enough sleep, all can be and usually is forgiven. Year two is dramatically different from year one. In that you are able to set limits and completely distract with outings. And year three is different still because by this point you have the benefit of language. So you can actually negotiate with your child. That really is a nice thing to add to the mix. So ambivilence totally is a normal part of it. Just remember it's a dance. Much more so after the 1st year is over. And that it's not all about your child. Takes two to tango. My son understands that I have to WANT To nurse too for it to happen. HTH.

    Way too lazy for formula

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2008

    Default Re: So, I thought I would've weaned by now . . .

    I knew I *wanted* to nurse for at least a year, and once I got to that point, like you, I understood better that I wanted to nurse much longer than that... and by 15-16 months the outside pressure to wean grew enormous so the rest of my experience has been a daily questioning thing...

    For DS it was that I wanted another child and had no ovulation going on, since he sucked down so much of my milk. So I reluctantly, very slowly weaned just enough to get the cycles going again.... and then the pain and exhaustion during early pregnancy was too much for me to keep going. By then my son was a little over 2 years old, and I had spent almost a year agonizing. And still, only a little after weaning when he caught a nasty GI bug, there I was trying to nurse or pump milk from my dry breast to comfort the poor little guy. So yeah, I questioned every little weaning decision along the way.

    For DD I was so looking forward to BFing forever, and who cares if I ever ovulate again since I intend her to be my last. But now she's 16 months and not nearly enough weight gain and the pediatrician is pressuring me to wean faster, and I'm questioning this every day...

    It's funny, I was so sure before my son was born that I would only feed the first year, and then once my son got older I was so sure I would tandem nurse them both, and reality what I did was in between, not at all what I expected.

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