I am feeling pretty weepy and rather pathetic this morning so I hope I don't sound too whiney.
I am a teacher and obviously the school year has started.
I do teach from home, which is wonderful most of the time and I know how fortunate I am to have this job, but September and October are the WORST.
Yesterday I put in a 10 hour day of literally staring at a computer screen and non stop talking on the phone. My mother in law is nannying for me this year so she was with my 2, 5 and 6 year old kids. The older two go to school from home too so she is the one to do their assignments with them when I am working. I then drove all three of my kids to my oldest son's flag football practice, handed them off to my husband and had to come straight back home to teach a parent orientation class.
My husband went to his parents house after the practice and did not come home with the kids until 9 pm.
By that time I had put in a 12 hour day, had not seen my kids at all, was completely exhausted and broken hearted at having not spent ANY time with them all day and was probably not all that cordial towards my dh. It's not always that bad but yesterday was just a DAY.
I stumbled up the stairs with my daughter, got her ready for bed, sat down in the rocking chair and promptly fell asleep while she nursed. She woke me up a while later to ask for the other side. I managed to stay awake while she finished nursing and forced myself to focus on her for a few minutes.
I am so thankful that she is stil nursing. She is 2.5 years old and shows no signs of wanting to wean. Nursing her before bed and before her naps forces me to stop moving, sit down and just focus on her for a few minutes.
This morning when she started fussing around at 6 am I pulled her into bed with me and let her nurse herself back to sleep. I know there are those who would say that is a bad habit to get into but if it allows me a few extra minutes with her I have NO problem with it.
I need to figure out what I can do to have that connecting time with my boys each day as well.
Today I am just thankful for nursing and the bonding time it provides for us and for our children.
I am sure I will be less emotional when things at work start to settle down around mid October, but I am hoping and praying that I can hold it together in the meantime.
Thanks for "listenting." I just needed to get that out before another day gets into full swing. Hope you all have a great day!