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Thread: 33 months old - Still Nursing A lot

  1. #1
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    Feb 2006
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    Default 33 months old - Still Nursing A lot

    Background:

    Zachary has sensory intergration problems, meaning at least partly eating some foods is hard for him.

    Zachary was born at around 7 pounds.

    Zachary and I have always loved the nursing relationship we share (at least after we got the hang of it)

    Support is VERY limited...for many area's of nursing/non vaxing.

    Zachary sees a nutritionest as well as a speech theripest, both want me to wean, as does family.

    Zachary is 24 pounds now, he is weighed once a month and has been 24 pounds (or a tad less) for the past 3 months.

    Zachary nurses anywhere from 6 to 10 times a day (and nurses all night long).

    Zachary has been tested for anemia, he's fine.

    We have been working with him to eat more foods, and he does...we have also tried to with hold nursing, as much as I can handle it, to see if he will eat more solid's, however it does not change at all the amount he eats.

    His nutritionest wants me to add a "fat source" to eveything he eats, and get him drinking milk or a "high" calory substitue NOW.

    Zachary's ped is not consurned, however he really does not "see" him much KWIM?

    Questions:
    I have heard from some that I could be risking Zachary's brain growth because of what I am doing, or continueing to do?? I dont want to hurt him!

    I have talked to his ped about a blood test to see if there is some reason for the non growth, he said he would not like to put Zachary though that (nor would I if we can avoid it, but??)

    For the past 2 days Zachary has not nursed much during the day, however he has not increased his food (solid) intake either, so that does not work.

    I am 100% ok with nursing, I love it and WANT to continue, but some people are making me feel like it's MY fault Zachary is SOO attached to me, that its MY fault he is not eating more solids, because I dont let him scream for it, I just give it to him, we still nurse (pretty much) on demand, unless in a line or something, because everyone is telling me all this stuff, I dont want to hurt my child, I am worried about his weight. We also saw a "theripest" who wanted to help me with his "attitude" however she was horrible, she wanted me to put Zachary in time out because he wanted to nurse, if I said no and he had a reaction! (OMG). She also was VERY alarmed about his clinginess to me, and had a cow when I told her that no one had watched him but me and occasionally my parents. She also grew MOST concerned about our co-sleeping! She suggested a developemental ped, but I cant afford one...I am a single mom, who works from home because Zachary will not let me leave him with anyone!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    18,063

    Default Re: 33 months old - Still Nursing A lot

    your doing a great job! do you have a local lll group? Call the leader and get somebody to talk to!
    Have you read anything by Dr SEArs? His books are so neat.
    I had hear good things but had not read any of them myself.
    Try the baby book 1st. It will help you feal beter about your parenting.
    our world is very adult centered and does't care much about the fealings of kids.
    I think its fine that your baby is attached to you!
    as far as the eating goes I don't think you can force a breastfeed baby to eat anything. Ive heard some mom's say thier doctor told them to soak anything that the baby likes to eat in butter
    Do you keep a food diary of what he eats every day? That might help you to see that he is eating some things.
    babies grow at their own pace and its your job to feed them healthy and its up to them to eat it.
    LLL has a good book in their cataloge called
    http://store.llli.org/books/product/91 My child won't eat.


    heres a link to the Extnded Breastfeeding section of the web site.
    http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBextended.html
    and you might want to check out the New begining links too
    http://www.lalecheleague.org/nbdate.html

  3. #3
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    Jan 2006
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    18,063

    Default Re: 33 months old - Still Nursing A lot

    oh I just wanted to add cosleeping is just fine.
    Do what works for you!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    1,551

    Default Re: 33 months old - Still Nursing A lot

    Hi Jaz_Trio,
    I've just got a quick moment this morning but I wanted to also recommend that same book, My Child Won't Eat! by Carlos Gonzalez. (Thanks, Andrea )
    And also Mothering Your Nursing Toddler by Norma Jane Bumgarner.
    http://store.llli.org/books/product/85
    The first book might help with your nutrition worries. The second book may help reassure you of normal toddler nursing behaviors.
    If you have an LLL Group nearby they might have copies of these books available for borrowing. Maybe a large library would have them, too. Maybe there is an LLL Group nearby, too, with a toddler meeting you could attend for support and meet other mothers of nursing toddlers/preschoolers?

    Mary

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    13

    Default Re: 33 months old - Still Nursing A lot

    My son is 36 months, still nurses a LOT. I figure most of his desire to nurse off and on all day and night (I nurse him to sleep and then put him in his own bed. When he awakes I get him and bring him to our bed.) is from boredom, habit, and the need to be close. He will never just let me cuddle him. If I am THAT close to him he thinks he has to nurse. We both have enjoyed the whole breastfeeding experience and he's a very good eater. Loves veggies and fruits. However, I experience the same thing with friends and family. I work part-time from the home. We are together 24 hrs a day and I've never left him with anyone other than my husband for less than an hour and my in-laws for less than an hour, primarily because he cries so much when we're apart. We've tried the church nursery several times, but they always page me to come after him because they can't get him to stop crying. I, and the fact that I still breastfeed him, get blamed for the clinginess. I like being around me, too! It doesn't matter what anyone else says, when you are a good mother, there is no substitute!! Stick to your guns!! They won't breastfeed forever and they SURE won't want to be around us forever!! I have a 22 yr old daughter, as well... I know this to be true!! Hang in there!
    -Susan

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    110

    Default Re: 33 months old - Still Nursing A lot

    Yeah, I have a daughter who is 7, so I know they grow out of the "I want mommy stage" Though, she never really had one...I get the "if you did not nurse him he would not be SOOOOO attached thing too" and sometimes I feel like they have a point, I did not nurse my daughter (I pumed for 12 months for her, instead) and she NEVER did this...though she also never had sensory issues, or anything of that sort either.

    I guess my main consern these days, besides having some SUPPORT, is that he is ok, growth wise...our doc does not seem concerned, but then he does not know all of the facts, he does not really "sit" and chat, I have asked for blood tests to see if Zachary is absorbing normally, or something, but he shruggs it off as NOTHING...saying Zachary is fine. Heck when I wanted an anemia test for him at 18 months he thought I was nuts...but then like I said, he does not "hear" that Zachary is still nursing for much of his intake, and the nutritionest refuses to "think" that the calories he gets from nursing are significant, she is totally hung up on the fact that Zachary does NOT get nearly enough calories to "be gaining" which frankly I disagree with! I mean...he looks normal?! He's just NOT growing, he is active, playful, and not "sickly" but he's still just not growing...if he was not "getting enough" of something, wouldn't he be sickly? Would not growing just be the "reaction?"

    I dont know, and every person I talk to seems to have a different take on it all! Everything I read or even the people I talk to, besides you Susan, say there children, IF they are still nursing at this age, have "cut WAY down" where as Zachary has not, at all, since he was about a year...

    And well as you can guess I get down with 10 different people all telling me different things, all not supporting me...ect. All people that I trust, and look up to...though I do question both the dotors, and theripests, and dont just GO with whatever they want, there words to hit home....

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    157

    Default Re: 33 months old - Still Nursing A lot

    Wow! You really have your fill of discouraging comments. Although your concerns about your son's weight gain and eating issues are certainly valid, many of the comments you posted from doctors and family members are so common among people who are unfamiliar with and uneducated about extended/toddler nursing. I second the above comment about getting the books, My Child Won't Eat and Mothering Your Nursing Toddler. If for anything else, to calm your anxiety and know the facts, and to show those who question your son's nursing and how it affects his health that nursing past a year is not dangerous! Rather, it is probably what is keeping him so healthy at present with his low consumption of solid foods. Something else to know: breastmilk is a calorie-dense food. It is higher in calories, ounce per ounce, than any other food.

    For now, here are a few "official" statements as they relate to breastfeeding a toddler:

    One of the best quotes to offer, especially to medical professionals:

    The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that "Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child... Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother... There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer." (AAP 2005)


    The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding "for well into the second year and for longer if possible." There are reasons for this. As the World Health Organization puts it, "Babies get ill frequently as they learn to crawl, walk and play. A child who is ill needs breastmilk."

    * In the second year (12-23 months), 448 mL of breastmilk provides:
    o 29% of energy requirements
    o 43% of protein requirements
    o 36% of calcium requirements
    o 75% of vitamin A requirements
    o 76% of folate requirements
    o 94% of vitamin B12 requirements
    o 60% of vitamin C requirements
    -- Dewey 2001

    For more information relating to nursing toddlers, some mothers find the following website helpful:
    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/index.html

    My best wishes to you on finding the support and information you need at this time. I commend you on continuing to offer your son your wonderfully healthful milk and nourishing him with love and acceptance at your breast!

    WarmLLLy,

    Eve Erickson
    www.LLLSouthernNevada.com

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    28

    Default Re: 33 months old - Still Nursing A lot

    And I thought I had it rough. You are doing great! You are the only one who knows what is best for your child and if you feel in your gut that he needs you and that you both enjoy this nursing experience then block out all of the negativity. Let it go through one ear and out the other. Just because someone is called a doctor doesn't mean they know anything about breastfeeding and all that it entails. It sounds like you have way too many people butting in who really just need to mind their own business. I understand where your at because my family and friends tell me the same things about the clingingness and etc. I'm amazed at you being a single mother and handling all of this without a partner. Keep up the good work! You deserve a pat on the back!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    110

    Default Re: 33 months old - Still Nursing A lot

    AWW thanks guys!!! I REALLY needed that, I have been trying like the devil to get to a LLLeague meeting for some support, but every time I think I can go to one, WAHM something else comes up! ICKY I hate that!

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