I'm so frustrated. A quick read thru this forum shows I am certainly not alone. My dd was born at 30 weeks; now she is in her 37th week and has been home from the NICU for exactly one week (yay).
in the past 7 days i have gone back and forth. First I tried just breastfeeding, but she was always always always starving at the end of a feed so I would have to supplement. So I started pumping after every feed but felt like my breasts were never full when it was time for her to feed again. Not to mention it was totally demoralizing to have my husband take the baby from me after feeding, only to hook myself up to the stupid stupid pump while he gets to bond with her. makes me feel like garbage. so I went on a 36-hour "nurse-in" where I used no pumping, just fed her whenever she wanted to eat. went great for a while but then we got off our rhythm after a doctor's appointment came just when she was supposed to eat.
my husband hates the formula and wants me to pump, pump, pump and i am trying but, ferinstance, today he is out with my stepkids so there is nobody to hold the baby while i pump. i confess that i might be able to juggle both but just don't want to. i hate pumping so much.
i gather from other posts that she might become a more effective feeder in the next 3 weeks, as she approaches her due date? I feel so sad and useless right now. We both love breastfeeding so much but it's so distressing, esp in the middle of the night, when she falls off and seems full but is too restless to fall asleep... and will only sleep after a bottle. and I feel like crap when don't have breastmilk for that bottle. like a real turdy turd parent.
i don't know what i'm really asking, just expressing frustration i guess. i kjnow the answer is pump pump pump. is there a way to do it without robbing the next feed of milk?
i am taking fenugreek, tea, supplements galore. hydrating as much as i can manage. anything i am missing? why can't i fill up her tank?