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Thread: Pep talk?

  1. #1

    Default Pep talk?

    My DS is almost 26 months, and I really wish he was weaned. I wanted to reach a year, and when I hit that milestone, I couldn't conceive of him stopping, and I was fine with that. Nursing has always been a cure all for Sam, he had colic and reflux and it just always worked to make everything all better. And then we hit two, and he's still nursing... he eats solids fine, drinks from a cup no problem, but still nurses to nap and frequently when he's either falling asleep or in the process of waking up. It's the night nursing that's making me most nuts - or rather, the first thing in the morning nursing. He wakes up and is desperate, and there's no distracting him, he won't take anything else, and I'm SO TIRED of sitting and nursing forever first thing in the morning. I don't know how to get him to not want to nurse. If he wants it, I want to be able to give it to him. He's just a little boy, and it's his favorite activity. I feel like my options are to nurse or make him miserable. My DH works during the week a million hours, so he needs to sleep at night, I don't think I could get him to take over nighttime parenting, and I just need some encouragement that he will outgrow the need to nurse. Because honestly, I don't see it happening. He LOVES it. Just flat out loves it. I'm afraid that it's going to come down to me just refusing and making him so unhappy - which goes against everything that I've been trying to do with nursing him as long as he has.
    Melissa
    Mom to Jessica (2/7/03) breastfed for 8 months
    Sam (7/6/06) breastfed for three years, five months, two weeks and three days (not that I was counting or anything :-)
    Julianna (4/29/10) struggled thru nursing strike, nipple confusion, thrush, multiple cracks and fissures, a staph infection and then another bout of thrush, but happily nursing away
    www.cohenfamily-melissa.blogspot.com

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Pep talk?

    Honestly they will be unhappy, but it also sounds like you're unhappy. so I can't really say what I want, but I'll come back.

    Mama to my little Diva: Miss K (7/15/06)
    And her little sister: Lulu Pie (3/21/09)

    "Don't toush da mango"
    One-handed typer Extraordinaire!
    My body creates, houses, nurtures and nourishes life. That is awesome.
    Kegel Kop says: TIGHTEN UP!

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Pep talk?

    Why do you have sit up to nurse 1st thing in the morning? Why can't you take him to bed for some cuddle time and use that time to gently wake up together?

    Way too lazy for formula

  4. #4

    Default Re: Pep talk?

    He's in my bed still (a whole other issue) and I've tried cuddling. I've tried reading, singing, offering food, drink, television, etc. Sam doesn't wake up well, he wakes up grumpy and the only thing he wants is to nurse. Sometimes it doesn't last long, if I get up first, he'll wake up and make a beeline for me and then latch on. And sometimes it's quick, and I can talk him into getting off and getting some breakfast, or playing with Daddy or 'ooh look, let's go outside' but sometimes (like this morning) all he wants is to nurse. For hours. Okay, maybe not hours, but it was for a lot longer than I wanted too.
    Melissa
    Mom to Jessica (2/7/03) breastfed for 8 months
    Sam (7/6/06) breastfed for three years, five months, two weeks and three days (not that I was counting or anything :-)
    Julianna (4/29/10) struggled thru nursing strike, nipple confusion, thrush, multiple cracks and fissures, a staph infection and then another bout of thrush, but happily nursing away
    www.cohenfamily-melissa.blogspot.com

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Pep talk?

    OK. I guess I was confused by the way you worded that to begin with. MY favorite time of day to nurse is 1st thing in the morning. But it wouldn't be if I have to get up and do it. So I thought you meant you had to get up to do it.

    Is there any session that you are actually still enjoying?

    Way too lazy for formula

  6. #6

    Default Re: Pep talk?

    Putting him to bed. I like the cuddling and rocking and singing, and that's sweet and lovely. I even don't mind nursing him to sleep in the middle of the day. I don't mind nursing when he's hurt himself, or gets mad at his sister. I don't know that I'd miss it all that much if he was done all together, but those sessions don't make my crazy like the nursing in the morning is the doing. I like to get up, go to the bathroom, get coffee, talk to my DH, start laundry, get my DD dressed for school - the morning one is the one that makes me the most frustrated.

    I usually wake up to nurse him around five or six, and he falls back asleep. I can sneak out of bed, but then he wakes up and either cries until I take pity on him and go back to bed (which is never what I want to do) or I stay in the living room and listen to him fuss until he eventually gets up and runs to me and demands to nurse. I was nursing him this morning, and asked my husband to get me some more coffee, and said to him 'it's not like I can get up' and it dawned on me that I've been in this position for TWO years. I miss being able to get my own cup of coffee - you know what I mean? I loved nursing him for as long as I did, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat, but I so want to move on from it now. I just don't know how to do it without making him miserable. He cries "I NEED IT", literally crying with tears and such misery when I try to get out of it.

    It sounds so sad and it's so EASY to just latch him on and make everything okay. But I'm afraid that he's never going to outgrow it. He hasn't done it yet. My DD was a pacifier baby, and stopped nursing at eight months. But she relied on the pacifier until she was four or five. I'm afraid that he just really likes to suck. I limited my DD with the pacifier, but would let her have it if she was really unhappy about it. Sam won't take the pacifier, I've even thought about introducing the bottle, just to give him something to suck on other than me - but he's never really had it before and it just seems silly to start a toddler on a bottle.
    Melissa
    Mom to Jessica (2/7/03) breastfed for 8 months
    Sam (7/6/06) breastfed for three years, five months, two weeks and three days (not that I was counting or anything :-)
    Julianna (4/29/10) struggled thru nursing strike, nipple confusion, thrush, multiple cracks and fissures, a staph infection and then another bout of thrush, but happily nursing away
    www.cohenfamily-melissa.blogspot.com

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Pep talk?

    Never? He'll out grow it. But it certainly doesn't sound like he's ready yet.
    it is OK to set limits. I have much success with Juice Pop instead of the morning session. I too get up and nurse to essentially wake myself up. But then he likes to come out a couple of hours later and climb in my lap at the key board. The bigger he gets the less that works for me. But I didn't give him any sugar at all for a very very long time. So now, the amount of juice in an ice cube tray with a tooth pick in it can be a very handy trading tool indeed! I feel a little bad....I loathe juice really. But it works.
    And I am able to talk to my son about it. "When do you think you won't need noonie anymore?" "When I am am bigger. I just want some right now. For 3 more minutes." But I feel like I am nudging him along. To even help him see where the end might be. (And that there will be an end.)
    Plenty of Mothers here night wean when they no longer want to get up at night. If getting rid of the 2nd morning session will help you continue to feel good about continuing, I say begin the process. Start by talking to him about it. And about what you are willing to trade for it. I think it's important to talk to them about change and remind them of us talking about it and it you can talk to him (or if you know) what he might be willing to negotiate to let that one go.....I think that would probably be really helpful!

    Way too lazy for formula

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Pep talk?

    Shelly's got you covered!

    Mama to my little Diva: Miss K (7/15/06)
    And her little sister: Lulu Pie (3/21/09)

    "Don't toush da mango"
    One-handed typer Extraordinaire!
    My body creates, houses, nurtures and nourishes life. That is awesome.
    Kegel Kop says: TIGHTEN UP!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    1,987

    Default Re: Pep talk?

    We count to 10 when momma is done sometimes and DS is pretty okay with that. I agree--negotiate for some limits so it works for both of you. DS often does the same thing (with the two early morning sessions), but thankfully, if I'm out of bed, he rarely thinks about the second one. I understand your annoyance with that one.
    DS 1/2006 9 lb. 2 oz. 22 in.
    DD 10/2008 8 lb, 2 oz. 20 in.

  10. #10

    Default Re: Pep talk?

    Thank you both for the great advice. I think if I could get rid of that morning one, I'd feel a lot better about it.
    Melissa
    Mom to Jessica (2/7/03) breastfed for 8 months
    Sam (7/6/06) breastfed for three years, five months, two weeks and three days (not that I was counting or anything :-)
    Julianna (4/29/10) struggled thru nursing strike, nipple confusion, thrush, multiple cracks and fissures, a staph infection and then another bout of thrush, but happily nursing away
    www.cohenfamily-melissa.blogspot.com

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