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Thread: Kicking myself...need encouragement

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    69

    Default Kicking myself...need encouragement

    I've made so many mistakes...and now they have come back to bite me

    Mistake #1...I supplemented. It was definitely needed...at first, but I never weaned him back exclusively to the breast.

    Mistake #2...I introduced baby food at 4 months...

    Mistake #3...I was afraid to nurse in public, even with a wrap(stupid)

    These mistakes have cost me my breastfeeding relationship with my lo. I cry all the time, b/c he absolutely refuses my breast now...it's been three weeks now. I have tried everything...
    skin to skin
    warm baths together
    quiet, tranquil surroundings...it doesn't matter, he just screams.

    The day I introduced food, was the same day he stopped taking the breast.

    He seems so happy and he is healthy....He is still very close and still falls asleep facing in towards my breast and even puts his hand on the breast. I try everyday, with no luck. Yesterday I offered, and he didn't scream...he just opened his mouth and smiled, but wouldn't latch. It's like a switch has gone off.

    Anyway, now I exclusively pump. I start school and work next week, so that's not helping my mood either...I cry when I pump b/c I feel like it's my jail sentence for breaking breastfeeding guidelines

    I now realize that I have a really slow letdown, I could never feel it when I breastfed, so maybe that was a contributing factor as well...

    I wish they made one of those smiley guys that is just kicking himself, because that would be me right about now


    New Mommy to Michael 4-5-08
    and and new to the world of

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    257

    Default Re: Kicking myself...need encouragement

    Don't be so hard on yourself. You sound so sad and disappointed. You're still doing a lot of good by pumping for your lo. Ya know, we all have life experiences that we would like to change. Your "mistakes" were simply "mistakes" and you'll have to move forward and do the best with what you have now (bm for your lo, and lessons for your next lo). Do you have a local LLL group you can go to or call? I wouldn't loose hope yet on your lo not latching...KEEP TRYING I have been through a nursing strike that left me feeling horrible (it only lasted 2 full days) it was the worst feeling in the world, I can't imagine how bad you must feel going on 3 weeks. Is your lo 4 months?

    Don't cry when you pump (it'll make it harder) you are STILL giving your lo the best. Certainly don't think of it as a jail sentence...sure, it's not what you "planned" for but it's what you make of what you CAN give your lo. Be happy, easier said that done, but you are still doing a great job.

    Going back to work and school can be difficult. Make sure you have a good pump and a good routine/schedule figured out for pumping. And pump, pump, pump to keep your supply and bring it up. You can do it HTH
    I'm Jill
    Mother to
    Bear 12/13/98
    Bagalli 8/5/07
    little (3/21/09).
    Kafessa: 5/17/10
    expecting 10/1/11


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    19

    Default Re: Kicking myself...need encouragement

    Wife to Phil
    Stepmama to Tyler age 10, Talia age 8, and McKayla age 7
    Mama to Riley, age 4 (almost 5) and sweet baby Zoey, 10 months

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    192

    Default Re: Kicking myself...need encouragement

    The pp is exactly right - you are still providing him with your milk, which is sooo healthy for him. Keep trying to get him to latch. Does he get up to eat in the middle of the night? Maybe you'd have better luck getting him to latch then.
    Stay at home mom to my 2 boys:
    R - born 4/20/08, nursed for 20 months
    G - born 8/6/11, EPd for 4 months, until he refused the bottle!
    Loving CDing this time around!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Steeler Country
    Posts
    36

    Default Re: Kicking myself...need encouragement

    Hi!

    As far as I see it, you've done many things right:

    1. You asked for encouragement! You're doing awesome!
    2. You are pumping and giving LO the best nutrition.
    3. You said this one yourself:

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*milkedmama View Post
    He seems so happy and he is healthy.
    I wouldn't consider what you've done "mistakes" - just things you've done that you may do differently next time. I'm sure you had the best intentions and did the best you could at the time.

    Keep trying to get LO to latch if it's important to you; pumping isn't all bad though - think of the many benefits to it. I pump for DS exclusively. My dad is recovering from colon cancer and just got to feed him for the first time tonight!

    Keep up the good work!
    Rene, first time mom to born 6/13/08

    since day 1!

    Donated 684oz (so far) to the Mother's Milk Bank of Ohio

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    2,552

    Default Re: Kicking myself...need encouragement

    I don't think any of us EPers on here are EPing by choice... I know I have a similar list of regrets and things I will do differently next time. No sense in beating yourself up! It sounds like your LO is doing great!
    Beth

    Exclusively pumped for Lance Oct 07
    Nursed until just before he turned 3 Levi Oct 09

    Do you have extra milk? Consider donating!
    http://www.hmbana.org/:

    "So I was welcomed by the consolations of human milk; but it was not my mother or my nurses who made any decision to fill their breasts, but you who through them gave me infant food, in accordance with your ordinance and the riches which are distributed deep in the natural order." -St Augustine

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    69

    Default Re: Kicking myself...need encouragement

    Thanks Ladies I don't know what I would do without this site!!!! lo is five months on the 5th Still no latch, but I'm adding a pumping session every day and I went and bought some mother's milk tea to help as well. I know I shouldn't "coulda, shoulda, woulda" myself to death, but I'm just disappointed. On the bright side...my original goal was six months and I'm only four weeks away. I just miss our night feedings Who knows, anything is possible...thanks again for the kind words


    New Mommy to Michael 4-5-08
    and and new to the world of

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