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Thread: Pressure to Wean BEFORE 1

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2008

    Default Pressure to Wean BEFORE 1

    My son is only nine months old and already I am hearing pressure to wean him. I am so frustrated because the people that are pressuring me are very close to me. My mom has commented about three times now that I could give him formula at this point and he would be fine. My baby's doctor, who is also a friend, has gone so far as to give me formula for him. The doctor's reasoning was that because baby goes to daycare I would need the formula so I did not have to pump at work. It is just so frustrating. It seems that when baby's are new borns everyone and thier mother too are all interested in if you are breastfeeding and pressuring you TO breastfeed and then once the baby gets older those same people are on you to quit. I feel like my mother was just encouraging me to breastfeed because she was hopeful I would lose weight. I know that sounds terrible and she is a great mom but I really feel that this is true. I think now that she sees that I am gaining wieght and not losing she is done with the supporting of the nursing. Sorry just had to vent. I know that this is long.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2007

    Default Re: Pressure to Wean BEFORE 1

    I have caught a bit of this weight business from my mom too. She is never been satisfied with my weight even when I weighed less than 120, "sigh". I always pull the antibody card when people comment on how long I am nursing. My 2 kids whom I have nursed longer than 12 months are tons healthier in terms of colds, intestinal viruses and ear infections than the 3 girls whom I nursed a year or less. So tell your mom that it is worth what you save in doctor bills and not missing work., as well as why pay for formula when momma milk is free. I presume you work because you can use the money and it is hard to argue with numbers.
    SAHM mom to 5 daughters-16,15,13,3,10 months Happy Wife to stressed out, overworked husband

  3. #3

    Default Re: Pressure to Wean BEFORE 1

    My mom pressured me a bit about weaning in the beginning...and once we went longer than she thought we should've too I think in the beginning, she was thinking that I turned out ok, so my kid would too, and later on, she was maybe a bit put off by me continuing because all she knew was formula...

    I myself am one of those crazy ladies who nurse their kids until they self wean. My oldest was 2, and my youngest is still nursing at 2.5. The reason I felt confident to continue nursing my kids this long, was that my best friend when I was in college had kids already, and she nursed them all until they were at least 2 or self weaned on their own before that. I saw that her kids were good well adjusted kids, and that nursing that long really was what was NATURAL, and that formula was not natural.

    That experience is why my boys get to nurse until they're ready to self wean. Because I saw how babies were designed to be fed and for how long, and I rebelled against the alternative.

    I'd urge you to check out a local LLL meeting and find other ladies who are committed to breastfeeding. Seeing others nursing to age 1 and beyond will strengthen your resolve and make it easier to ignore ignorant comments from others, even our moms

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2007

    Default Re: Pressure to Wean BEFORE 1

    What I found with my parents is that when they had babies it was just normal that you breastfed for awhile and then did formula. So, my parents figured that is still how it was done. They made a few comments about "when I switch him to formula" just assuming that it would happen. I don't think that it was ever meant to be a pressure for me to wean and once I explained that you don't have to switch to formula and why would I pay for something that is free they were like oh, okay and never said it again. I honestly think they just did not know that breastfeeding is all you need and a lot of their generation is the same way. Now that DS is one I'm sure I'll start getting comments from the ILs. They feel like 1 is enough and I have to go on a family trip with them when DS will be 15 months old and I'm sure still nursing. We'll see how it goes. I find it works best for me to just say "okay" to whatever advice I get and then just do what works best for me. Unless someone is really looking for an argument or will not let it go, then I'll debate them about it. But, just quietly doing my own thing and making it seem normal and natural is how I'm going to proceed. About the doctor though, I would maybe give him some information about extended breastfeeding's benefits because he shouldn't be handing out formula like that!
    Mommy to James. Born 8-25-07 all naturally.

    a LOT! a lot and a little too.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2007

    Default Re: Pressure to Wean BEFORE 1

    I was lucky that my mother never pressured me to wean even though she did not breastfeed either one of my sisters or myself. However i was receiving comments from my MIL and SIL , comments such as ' Now you can switch to formula, it is not good to breastfeed your son because it will be difficult to stop and stuff like that.

    Pls do what your gut tells you and look for advice and support on this forum.
    Mom to Wayne since 02.24.2007
    Keeran 07.19.2010

    My kids are my life!

    You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them - Desmond Tutu

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2007

    Default Re: Pressure to Wean BEFORE 1

    I too suffered the same fate from my Mother who found breastfeeding almost disgusting - she was a midwife too (shocking!). But in her day formula was the way to go. Over time she has come to see it my way, that breastfeeding is a natural connection with my DS, that he is healthy and well adjusted. She has become a breastfeeding advocate and tells everyone what I am doing who would have thought.

    As far as friends and colleagues go, they think I am crazy. My DS is now two and we are in no way done. I believe in self weaning and will continue.

    Well done for choosing to breastfeed. Just believe in what you are doing is right, know the reasons why you have chosen to breastfeed and accept it, believe it and continue. You know best mamma and as long as you are both finding it mutually beneficial keep on going.

    Mother to Zayne 19/8/06 2.56kg

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Houston Texas

    Default Re: Pressure to Wean BEFORE 1

    It isn't always easy to stand up to people who we value in such high regards in our lives but remember you are the best advocate for what is right for your baby and family. Weaning is a gradual process that takes lots of time and commitment. Next time someone advises wean ask why? Explain to them you are doing what you feel is right and ask that they keep comments about weaning to themself. As far as the doctor, when she mentions trying to help by not making you pump just mention... Oh I don't mind- I would rather pump then feed formula because I know it is the best thing for my baby. Reminding people that the World Health Organization recommends BF until 2 and then as long as mutually desired by mom and baby(that right baby!). Also remember that when your mom was new at motherhood BF six months was all that was thought to be needed and some never even did that. There is alot of pressure to wean from many people all the time but knowing you are making the best choice for your child will be what gets you through it.
    wife , mom, maid , cook , taxi. All in a days work

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2007

    Default Re: Pressure to Wean BEFORE 1

    My family did the same thing to me along with giving me cr@p for co sleeping with Hunter Now I just tell every one "As long as he is weaned and out of my bed by college" You should see their faces

    Formerly known as Huntersmomma
    Momma to 3 yr old Hunter proudly breast fed until 2 & 1/2
    Expecting baby #2, Due in Jan 2011

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2008

    Default Re: Pressure to Wean BEFORE 1

    Don't let it get you down or effect your decision regarding how long you will breastfeed. Just come on here and vent whenever you need to. I think you'll find a lot of people dealing with the same cr@p from people in their lives. Although no one has out-right told me to wean, I am definitely feeling the pressure now that DD is almost a year old. But I'm ready for 'em

    Jeanne (my middle name IRL)

    Mommy to two girls (M & M), born Sept. '07 and Sept. '09

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Central Alberta, Canda

    Default Re: Pressure to Wean BEFORE 1

    I was mentioning to my Mom that as soon and DS 1 is in school and we are back on a routine I will be trying out DS 2 on the potty learning. She says Oh so you'll be weaning him too soon. All I said was "No". She keeps asking every few months. She doesn't seem interested in the reasons. She has always told me while growing up that she thought it was wrong once they could walk and talk. As long as she doesn't give me a hard time about it I won't argue with her.
    Amanda Wife to my wonderful husband 06_98
    Breastfeeding, Sling Wearing, Co-sleeping, Cloth Diapering Mom to my Intact Boys
    DS #1 - 02_02 BF'ed for 9 Months and
    DS #2 - 10_06 Currently BF'ed 22 Months and still going.

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