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Thread: Every solid meal is a nightmare!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    509

    Default Every solid meal is a nightmare!

    Hi ladies, I haven't been on the site in months because I've been too busy being stressed out with a multitude of things, not the least of which is my 14-month old simply refusing solids for most meals. Its been for months, first it was screaming at dinner as if someone were trying to kill him. Now its lunch too. I'm lucky to get him to eat applesauce or yogurt for an entire meal. My ped said it's toddler's independence, as he's fighting baths most nights too. But he goes days without tasting a vegetable, I am lost and don't know what to do. Any advice would be extremely appreciated, this is very stressful. I try not putting him in the high chair sometimes, but most of the times we put him in there and he screams already. I've tried waiting out the crying (more like screaming), but after 1/2 hour I give up and we are done. I've tried force feeding him the first bite and sometimes that'll peak his interest enough to take a couple more. He also doesn't feed himself most of the time, my ped said he might be fighting for the independence to do that but I try plopping the food down and he only picks up watermelon, cheerios & crackers. Ugh, any advice? Thanks and sorry I haven't been around, I've missed you!
    I'm proud to be first woman in my family to breastfeed!
    cloth diapering convert!
    Loving the homemade baby food!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    509

    Default Re: Every solid meal is a nightmare!

    I should add he nurses about 3 times per day, and has some cow's milk while at daycare. But even if he hasn't nursed in many hours, he still refuses the solids
    I'm proud to be first woman in my family to breastfeed!
    cloth diapering convert!
    Loving the homemade baby food!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    1,601

    Default Re: Every solid meal is a nightmare!

    I'd recommend this book
    http://store.llli.org/public/product/91

    Also it's helpful to think of food in a weeks time, what does he eat in a week? There are some days/weeks my 2 year old will eat very little!
    If meal times are stressful for you, imagine what they are for him? That can't be a fun way to eat at all!

    Does he graze though out the day? Keep offering him things, but definitely don't force him! Keep trying new things, have fun eating and let him eat what he wants. Your job is to offer good foods, his job is to eat it!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    22

    Default Re: Every solid meal is a nightmare!

    I know how you feel. DD was a horrible eater. At 12 months she would eat maybe a spoonful of one thing...sometimes just one bite a day. Toddlers will eat when they want and when they are hungry. If you're still nursing and your lo is also having cow's milk I wouldn't worry just yet. Give your lo some time to adjust to meal time. DD is now eating like a champ for one meal and maybe takes a few bites for the other 2 meals. We offer lots of healthy snacks and food we know she likes such as pasta, grapes, blueberries, and chicken. She's almost 19 months and somedays will eat great but most days just nibbles and drinks rice milk while I'm at work. She still nurses about 5-6 times a day during the week and even more on the weekend.
    She's healthy, happy, growing, and smart...and that's all that matters.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    96

    Default Re: Every solid meal is a nightmare!

    Has he always been like this with food? Do you think it's possible that it's a sensory issue. Sensory integration problems can sometimes include rejecting certain textures, ect and not wanting to touch things w/hands. The bath issue could also be included in this. Maybe thats a little far fetched but my mom is an Occupational Therapist and I hear her talk about things like this b/c she works w/children.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    439

    Default Re: Every solid meal is a nightmare!

    I cannot offer you any advice but I can offer a sympathetic hug!
    my DS is just shy of 13 months old and if he eats 2 ounces of solid food in a day that is a good day. Just like your child, my son refuses solids completely on many days. I am grateful that I am confident about extended nursing because otherwise he would receive no nutrition. He refuses anything with any sort of texture, does not eat any finger foods, so his nutrition comes from my milk and from the occasional bit of puree that he will eat. Today he ate about 2 ounces of pear/blueberry puree and I felt pretty good about that. If he eats a full jar worth in a day that is awesome. Still more days he will completely refuse any solids.
    I have kinda given up on the high chair most times anymore and I just sit him on my lap while I feed him solids. maybe I'm setting myself up for problems in the future by this practice??? But it just seems like a whole big effort to get him in the high chair for 2 ounces of puree. It is a lot easier and less messy if I just sit him on my lap and feed him quickly. We constantly try finger foods with him, but he just finds it more entertaining to toss food on the floor. it never makes it to his mouth, with the exception of an occasional o cereal piece (he's still struggling with how to eat those tho).
    sorry for the but you're not alone, anyway!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    816

    Default Re: Every solid meal is a nightmare!

    Here's a good link to Dr. Sears on feeding your picky toddler. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/3/T030800.asp
    I'm Wendi.
    Mom to:
    DD1 7/28/07 for 21 mos and weaned with
    &
    DD2 12/16/09

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    out of my right mind
    Posts
    2,631

    Default Re: Every solid meal is a nightmare!

    I second the book recommendation. Barring any health issues (which you say you've mentioned it to your ped already - you can always get a second opinion if you are worried about it. Things like anemia can stifle appetite, so you should make sure your ped has tested his ferritin levels), your LO is very able to let you know when he's hungry and how much he wants. His resistance to food could be a very good indicator that he is not physically ready to be able to process these foods (if his "gut" flora isn't ready yet it could just be a matter of time). A lot of toddlers just aren't ready and don't need to eat much in the way of solids at this age. Keep in mind that their growth slows down significantly at this age, and their caloric needs decrease, so it can be nerve-wracking when they suddenly start eating less than they used to, but it's perfectly normal and fine.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    509

    Default Re: Every solid meal is a nightmare!

    Thanks so much, ladies. I ordered that book and will try some of the ideas in the Dr. Sears article. I really like the notion of viewing how he eats over a week rather than a day, some days are just pretty lousy! I thought of the sensory issue as well, except he loves playing with sand and grass, and he loves swimming, so its not that he doesn't want to touch the food or get wet in the baths, he just wants to do it on his own terms!!
    I'm proud to be first woman in my family to breastfeed!
    cloth diapering convert!
    Loving the homemade baby food!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    18,063

    Default Re: Every solid meal is a nightmare!

    your job to fix healthy foods

    his job to eat and how much!

    Try and relax a little bit.

    from that dr sears link:

    Learning this helped us relax. We now realize that our job is simply to buy the right food, prepare it nutritiously (steamed rather than boiled, baked rather than fried), and serve it creatively. We leave the rest up to the kids. How much they eat, when they eat, and if they eat is mostly their responsibility; we've learned to take neither the credit nor the blame.

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