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Thread: I'm Pretty Sure I'll Never be Able to Exclusively Breast Feed...

  1. #31

    Default Re: I'm Pretty Sure I'll Never be Able to Exclusively Breast Feed...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*durhamgrrl View Post
    EBF is NOT possible for everyone. There are physical reasons for some of us that prevent us making enough milk. One of the PPs said you are made to produce milk - this is true but blind people are made to see too. It really doesn't help us to hear that we are just not trying hard enough. In fact it hurts when you are spending every minute with your LO, baby wearing, co-sleeping taking galatlogues, feeding every hour, supplementing a little and watching you baby get skinnier and skinnier. My baby put on 6 ounces in three weeks (with some formula remember) and started to look like gollum.

    Some of us have to live with the fact we can't EBF no matter how much we tried believing in it. As little as 1oz of BM once a day confers benefits and once you get calm enough about BF the baby will too and it will sooth you both...

    Try everything to EBF but if you cant it can still be OK and it is NOT your fault.
    You're right , durhamgrrl, that there are physical reasons that some mothers cannot exclusively breastfeed their babies (in addition to medical and psychological reasons).

    And there is a fuzzy line between encouraging a mother and pushing her , as you're pointing out.

    It's similar to the difference between offering information ("I tried this and here is how it worked for me.") and advice ("This is what you *should* do").

    I think the mothers on this forum generally do a good job of encouraging without pushing. An occasional reminder is helpful, too.
    Marianne
    LLL Leader

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    123

    Default Re: I'm Pretty Sure I'll Never be Able to Exclusively Breast Feed...

    Hi Everyone,
    I'm a little nervous b/c today she only took 7.5 oz and only had 4 wet diapers. I may have missed one but I'm still concerned. I feel bad b/c I gave her 2 oz in a bottle today and she was crying after the bottle was finished, but by the time I finished pumping, she was ok. I fed her an hour later and actually fed for 3 straight hours until she went to sleep for the night, but I did'nt get the wet diaper I wanted before she went to sleep. She did have a big dirty diaper though. Should I give her a bottle if she's not having enough wet diapers? Thanks for any input

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    18,063

    Default Re: I'm Pretty Sure I'll Never be Able to Exclusively Breast Feed...

    camp out on the couch today or in bed if you can with lots of skin to skin contact.
    and count diapars more carefully today.

    You can do this!

  4. #34
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
    Posts
    17,467

    Default Re: I'm Pretty Sure I'll Never be Able to Exclusively Breast Feed...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*andreafromohio View Post
    camp out on the couch today or in bed if you can with lots of skin to skin contact.
    and count diapars more carefully today.

    You can do this!
    A nurse in over the long Holiday weekend is GREAT idea. Take the baby to bed and stay there. Get naked. (Diapers and panties) have your DH bring you food. And lay out the right # of diapers at the beginning of the day and remember that the diaper recommendation is for a 24hour period. SO whenever you grab the 1st one, you have until the exact same time the next day to hit the diaper quota. I used to start with the night time diaper and end with the next one because I was used to going midnight to midnight. But whatever time you start counting, as long as you aren't worrying until the exact same time the next day. it'll work. Good luck!

    Way too lazy for formula

  5. #35
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    550

    Default Re: I'm Pretty Sure I'll Never be Able to Exclusively Breast Feed...

    First I just want to send some ! It sounds like you're going through a really tough time right now. I Exclusively pump and just wanted to offer support and help if I can.

    When it was the early weeks I too second guessed myself, it's such a stressful time. Don't second guess yourself, you are doing GREAT and your baby has gained weight. That is a VERY positive thing! You make it sound like it's not an accomplishment at all! You're wrong, it's a huge accomplishment, it means your LO is thriving on your milk! You have to keep in mind that the weight checks are based on ff babies. Is your LO happy, thriving, meeting milestones, has the number of wet diapers in 24 hours that they should? If yes, then stop driving yourself crazy!!! You ARE doing a great job and you ARE meeting your LOs needs!!!

    Just a few things to think about. Pumping is never as efficient as a baby. Sounds like you're supplements are mostly bm. That's great! Keep in mind that if you were able to pump out all that bm, than your baby will be able to nurse that same amount of milk and more directly from you because your LO is more efficient than a pump! Speaking partially from personal experience here, I would stop counting ounces and start counting diapers! For me personally, it was extremely nerve wracking to count ounces and feel like I never got enough out. Don't stress over the pumping. Your increased tension could make it harder to pump out milk. Relax and just think about how much you love your LO. Also, remember, you aren't a machine and pumping output can vary from day to day. That's completely normal! One more thing, are you taking care of yourself? You need to rest, eat good healthy food, drink tons of water and relax. Sleep when baby sleeps if you can.

    I think the nurse in idea is a great idea too! Spend quality time with your LO, and don't stress this weekend. Maybe thinking of it as taking one nursing session at a time would help? You know your LO better than anyone else, enjoy feeding your sweet baby and just enjoy the time together! You can do it mama!

  6. #36
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    123

    Default Re: I'm Pretty Sure I'll Never be Able to Exclusively Breast Feed...

    Hi Everyone,
    Thanks for all these great suggestions. I forgot it was in q 24 hour period and it looks like she did have her wet diapers. I'd like to just sit on a couch and nurse, but my LO is not willing. My husband is also not around enough to help me in that way, nor do I think he really understands that it's really important for me to be taken care of. He took great care of me when I was pregnant, but as soon as the baby was born he's had a hard time really understanding this. He tries, but I just don't feel I get the support I need from him or anyone else. Today has been horrible. This morning at 5:30 she was already struggling to get enough milk for me. This is pretty unusual. I usually don't have to supplement until 9-11am. I've given her 15oz of supplement today. I've been really exhausted today and I think it's the reason for my low supply today. I'm just touched out and an emotional wreck. Just now she wanted to nurse, but no milk was coming out and she was getting really frustrated so I just gave her 4oz. Totally unneccessary, but I'm too tired to try and get her to nurse. Even now I can tell she needs to nurse to go to sleep, but I just don't have it in me. She's just lying here next to me. I'm in tears and I feel like a horrible mother. There needs to be an end to this. I just don't know what to do to give her as much breast milk and nursing as possible without draining myself the way I am.

  7. #37
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    123

    Default Re: I'm Pretty Sure I'll Never be Able to Exclusively Breast Feed...

    hh13,
    I forgot to say, that you are right. I am giving my LO a lot of BM and it is a big accomplishment. I do think of that sometimes. It's just so hard to get beyond feeling that I can't fully satisfy my LO. Every time she gets frustrated at my breast, it's a very painful reminder that I don't have enough milk for her. It really breaks my heart and I wish someone would just come and take that pain away because I don't know how to get over it. I do feel much better with all the encouragement I'm getting here. What I wouldn't give to spend a whole day in bed with my LO nursing. I just don't know how to get someone to take care of me and to get my LO to want to nurse when she gets frustrated. I'll stop writing now. I think I'm delirious.

  8. #38
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    57

    Default Re: I'm Pretty Sure I'll Never be Able to Exclusively Breast Feed...

    Hi,
    I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. I had to supplement early on, we don't anymore but I remember how horrible it made me feel. There's no real reason it should, but you're told so much that breastfeeding is this perfect experience and sometimes it's just not. The way I coped was to force myself to think rationally about it - you're doing the best you can, your baby is getting every drop of breast milk you make. There's nothing wrong with supplementing with formula, you're being a good mother by making sure she gets enough calories to grow and thrive. Plenty of other people do this and even more babies only get formula and they're perfectly healthy. I found it helpful to write down what she got at every feed, then on bad days I could look back and see there had been good days so there would be again. And she's having enough wet and poopy diapers so there's reallly nothing to worry about.

    One of your posts said you were worried about her weight. My pediatrician says she wants to see an average of at least half an ounce a day and it sounds to me as if you're getting that. And remember it's an average over weeks/months not days. There will always be bad and good days.

    If your husband won't help by looking after you, can you get him to look after your lo while you get some time to yourself, even if it's just to have a long shower. If you're giving her bottles anyway maybe he could feed her some of them, it's a nice way for them to bond and helps you get some time to yourself. Have you spoken to your dr about how you're feeling? You really remind me of how I was before I went back to work and looking back I was on the verge of having post-partum depression. Having some time to myself everday was absolutely essential for me and being back at work has really helped too.

  9. #39
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    123

    Default Re: I'm Pretty Sure I'll Never be Able to Exclusively Breast Feed...

    Hi ecd,
    I can definitely get my DH to watch my LO while I have some time to myself. I have not spoken to my Dr, about how I'm feeling. I have spoken to him about the situation and he seemed to blow it off as no big deal and told me lots of people have been formula fed and they are just fine and that some women have a hard time with breast feeding and that's just how it is. The pediatrician feels that same way. I don't think they really understand what the big deal is. I am thinking of going to a new Dr. (a holistic woman). Maybe I'll discuss this with her. Sometimes I feel like I am going to slip into PPD. I think in the past it was definitely the case. I think you are right about going back to work. While I'm sort of dreading leaving my LO, I think I will have something else to focus on. Also, I will feel better because I will probably have a normal breast feeding relationship what a working mom would have, as opposed to a low supply situation.
    What sorts of things did you do in preparation for work? Was you supply ok to keep breast feeding?

  10. #40
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    192

    Default Re: I'm Pretty Sure I'll Never be Able to Exclusively Breast Feed...

    It sounds like your LO may have just gotten used to the fast flow of the bottle and perhaps you may not have a supply issue at all. Like a pp said, if you are able to pump out the milk, your LO should be able to get that much or more when nursing. Have you thought about renting a baby scale so you can find out exactly how much she's getting when she nurses? It might help your worries.
    Stay at home mom to my 2 boys:
    R - born 4/20/08, nursed for 20 months
    G - born 8/6/11, EPd for 4 months, until he refused the bottle!
    Loving CDing this time around!

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