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Thread: I'm Pretty Sure I'll Never be Able to Exclusively Breast Feed...

  1. #11
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    Default Re: I'm Pretty Sure I'll Never be Able to Exclusively Breast Feed...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    The thing is, it's really all supply and demand, As far as the advice you are getting and how it differs, it may depend on where people are in their commitment to see that your child gets the breastmilk as well as the bonding that nursing creates.
    You've talked about bringing the baby to the breast every two hours. How often are you supplementing and how much? Is it topping off or separate feedings? You keep talking about when you go back to work. Are you only committed to feeding the baby breastmilk until then or are you committed to pumping while at work and nursing to reconnect with your child when you get home at night?
    I can see you are doubting your self by the title of this thread. I am sorry that you are feeling that way. I really am. However, there really is no reason to think you can not get the baby all the way to the breast. You were made to breastfeed. Plain and simple. You make milk. And will make enough milk for your child if you get your child to your breast as often as she needs to eat. No matter what you have heard to the contrary. No matter who tells you it's not true. Even if the person giving you bad advice is your baby's doctor. The fact is, as long as your body get the right number of signals AND the baby is latching correctly, you will be able to do it. I wonder if the situation at the two week point had more to do with the baby not latching well enough to transfer milk than actual supply problems?
    Is your breastfeeding support group really helping to support you? Or is it a bunch of women who aren't really succeeding being told it's normal or OK? Because if you aren't being given the solid resolve you think you need to stick with it, I HIGHLY recommend you contact your local LLL leader and find your way to a LLL meeting. I find that the energy in those meeting is often very different than the "support" you find at a meeting run by the hospital or other places. You will find the energy you find coursing through these boards IRL people who you can see and touch.
    At any rate I KNOW that you can do this. I understand that it's hard to have faith and believe. Especially when you have a child that is frustrated at the breast. Begin counting diapers. And lose the supplements. It's the only way. I hear that you have tried it already. That doesn't mean it can't or won't work for you and your child. It means you dig deep and you commit to the fact that it means all day on the couch. It means some tears perhaps. Because it's much harder to get all your milk from the breast than a bottle. But anything worth having is worth working for. I can tell you that if you do the work, you will never be sorry. You will never look back on this time and think "what a waste of time. I should have never spent all that time fighting to get her EBF." The ability to feed our young is a fundamental piece of who we are. Much of the sadness you are experiencing at this point is tied to that. On your deepest and most primal level no matter what someone in a white coat is telling you or other mothers that have thrown in the towel, your instincts are telling you something. Listen to your instincts Mama. You were made to do this. Stay focused. You CAN DO IT.


    Shelly said it all, But i want to add that I've been EXACTLY where you are, we supplemented from 2 weeks and it took a good bit of determination and alot of effort but we stopped the supplements and you can too mama
    Autumn
    Moma to *Silas* 10-30-07

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
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    Default Re: I'm Pretty Sure I'll Never be Able to Exclusively Breast Feed...

    Hang in there - you can do it! Don't worry about the supplementing you've done, but try to let your LO nurse as much as possible from now on before you go back to work. Just remember what a wonderful thing you are doing for your baby.
    Stay at home mom to my 2 boys:
    R - born 4/20/08, nursed for 20 months
    G - born 8/6/11, EPd for 4 months, until he refused the bottle!
    Loving CDing this time around!

  3. #13
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    Feb 2007
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    Default Re: I'm Pretty Sure I'll Never be Able to Exclusively Breast Feed...

    I totally agree with what DJsmom is saying. At the same time I well know how hard it is, and your emotional health IS important too. Only you know what you are able to handle. One thing that I found was that while pumping all the time might help with the physical aspects of getting your supply up, it is physically and emotionally DRAINING. I reached a breaking point myself trying to pump 8X a day. I found that dumping the pump (or at least cutting back on the sessions) and focussing on getting baby to the breast as often as possible was really key. In your case this might be a bit harder because you don't want to stress baby out by trying to force her to the breast. At the same time, just give her every opportunity. You can do it.

  4. #14
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    Default Re: I'm Pretty Sure I'll Never be Able to Exclusively Breast Feed...

    for me i just decided I needed to quit trying to BF, Pump, and bottle feed at EVERY feeding, so i said tommorrow this is what i'm doing, I told DH and he encouraged me and we did more every few days:

    Week 1: 3 bottles 1 after first feeding, 2nd around 2-4pm, last right before bedtime 9-10ish

    week 2: 2 bottles 1 around 2-4pm, last right before bedtime 9-10ish

    Finally down to 1 bottle a day and we still do this one (unless we are away from home) DH gives the bedtime after bath bottle while i shower, after DS is asleep i pump to make up for it.

    i won't lie, those first few days i was a nervous wreck, but i watched DS's output (i had not found these forums yet, so i calso called my local leader etc...) and I just kept telling myself that all io had to do was wait a little longer then he'd have a bottle.... after we 'got it' it was so easy and i had zero stress where before i was climbing the walls trying to do it all


    now that i'm back at work i pump m-f at work and after DS goes to bed for that bedtime bottle
    Autumn
    Moma to *Silas* 10-30-07

  5. #15
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    Aug 2008
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    Default Re: I'm Pretty Sure I'll Never be Able to Exclusively Breast Feed...

    Thanks for all your support mamas.
    We actually had a good day today. She was willing to be on the breast all day so I have only given her 7 oz of supplement (4.5 oz bm) in three bottles. Who knows what tomorrow will be like though. That's the hard part.

  6. #16
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    Default Re: I'm Pretty Sure I'll Never be Able to Exclusively Breast Feed...

    I know EXACTLY what you mean
    Autumn
    Moma to *Silas* 10-30-07

  7. #17
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    Aug 2008
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    Default Re: I'm Pretty Sure I'll Never be Able to Exclusively Breast Feed...

    djs.mom
    Usually I put my LO to breast and based on how the feeding goes and if I think she's hungry, I will give her a bottle of about 2 oz.
    I do plan to pump at work when I start again and BF her in the am and pm and on weekends if she wants to.
    I'm still not convinced that I can EBF though considering that I have really done everything I can do.

  8. #18
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    Feb 2007
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    Default Re: I'm Pretty Sure I'll Never be Able to Exclusively Breast Feed...

    Have you tried eating oatmeal? For some strange reason that helps boost supply

    You could also try a SNS http://www.google.com/products?sourc...num=1&ct=title
    This way the baby can still get EBM at your low supply points while stimulating the breast to make more milk at the same time. This could help keep her calm enough at the breast to latch on and tell you body to do its thing.

    It's tough when we want something and it's just not going the way we planned. It's great that you're working through it and you'll be so happy you did once you get through this. I second that you should try going to a LLL meeting, the moms there will be super supportive and have advice that maybe we don't.

    I'm glad today was good, just expect tomorrow to be the same and hopefully it will be. mama, keep up the good work


    ETA: just wanted to add that most babies will still drink a bottle even if they are satisfied from their feeding at the breast, it's just their nature to suckle for comfort, it doesn't always mean they are still hungry.

    Amy married to my bestfriend since 10/30/04

    Proud SAHM to DS born 2/17/07 and DD born 9/11/08 Both weaned together 11/2011
    Currently milk, peach, peanut and tree nut free. DD has outgrown her wheat, cheese, egg, garlic, and citrus allergies

  9. #19
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    Default Re: I'm Pretty Sure I'll Never be Able to Exclusively Breast Feed...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*xerex View Post
    djs.mom
    Usually I put my LO to breast and based on how the feeding goes and if I think she's hungry, I will give her a bottle of about 2 oz.
    I do plan to pump at work when I start again and BF her in the am and pm and on weekends if she wants to.
    I'm still not convinced that I can EBF though considering that I have really done everything I can do.
    Well, if you aren't convinced you can do it, it doesn't really matter what is said or done. Self Doubt is your worst enemy. Again it's a supply and demand. Based on how the feeding goes, if you think she is still hungry, you should be flipping her (even if it's the 3rd flip in the feeding) Because that is the only way your body will ever really know how much milk to make. Whenever you top off a feeding with 2oz your body has no idea that's happening. Your body thinks it's made enough milk because there is no longer a child there stimulating production.
    Someone said only you know where your limits are. I can't argue with that. You do mentally have to find whatever space you are comfortable in. But you should know that a normal part of being a breastfeedind mother is to literally be feeding a newborn around the clock. It has nothing to do with not making a enough milk or a child not being satisfied. It has to do with the way things work in the beginning. So again the idea that she NEEDS more than what you can produce for her, I'm not sure where that is coming from. I understand that you may not be producing enough for her at this point. Supplementation is detrimental to milk production. Plain and simple. The sooner it's done the more harmful it can be to your production. Because the reason newborns eat around the clock is because they are working frantically to regulate your supply.
    But it can absolutely be done. Your child is still young. You are still at home. You can still literally put her to your breast as often as she needs to eat. Supply usually only takes a few days to catch up to a growing demand. That is how a woman who is working through growth spurts can continue to exclusively breast feed a child who jumps from 8 to 12 lbs in a months time.
    It's how a child who is 8lbs at birth and 17 by six months can survive on Breastmilk alone. It's all supply and demand.
    So Good luck to you. I want this relationship to work. For the well being of both you and your child.
    '

    Way too lazy for formula

  10. #20
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    Mar 2008
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    Default Re: I'm Pretty Sure I'll Never be Able to Exclusively Breast Feed...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    Well, if you aren't convinced you can do it, it doesn't really matter what is said or done. Self Doubt is your worst enemy. Again it's a supply and demand. Based on how the feeding goes, if you think she is still hungry, you should be flipping her (even if it's the 3rd flip in the feeding) Because that is the only way your body will ever really know how much milk to make. Whenever you top off a feeding with 2oz your body has no idea that's happening. Your body thinks it's made enough milk because there is no longer a child there stimulating production.
    Someone said only you know where your limits are. I can't argue with that. You do mentally have to find whatever space you are comfortable in. But you should know that a normal part of being a breastfeedind mother is to literally be feeding a newborn around the clock. It has nothing to do with not making a enough milk or a child not being satisfied. It has to do with the way things work in the beginning. So again the idea that she NEEDS more than what you can produce for her, I'm not sure where that is coming from. I understand that you may not be producing enough for her at this point. Supplementation is detrimental to milk production. Plain and simple. The sooner it's done the more harmful it can be to your production. Because the reason newborns eat around the clock is because they are working frantically to regulate your supply.
    But it can absolutely be done. Your child is still young. You are still at home. You can still literally put her to your breast as often as she needs to eat. Supply usually only takes a few days to catch up to a growing demand. That is how a woman who is working through growth spurts can continue to exclusively breast feed a child who jumps from 8 to 12 lbs in a months time.
    It's how a child who is 8lbs at birth and 17 by six months can survive on Breastmilk alone. It's all supply and demand.
    So Good luck to you. I want this relationship to work. For the well being of both you and your child.
    '
    this is sooo true, it's almost exactly what my local LLL told me when i showed up in tears at my first meeting.

    my Son was a sleepy baby and i let him sleep even through feedings at first i didn't know better, then on day 5 we went to the ER for dehydration, the next day i saw a IBCLC who actually showed me how to get my son to feed and told me to make him eat every 2 hours wake him up etc... it was hard but we did it, he still didn't gain at a rate my ped found acceptable,at DS's two week appointment i was told to supplement 2 oz after every feeding, I will not do this if i ever have another baby, i digress, anyway then he said we could stop the supplements after 2 more weeks, i did, guess what he lost weight, on week 5 the ped said stop putting lo to breast and just pump so we can measure what's going in , i did and finally i went online and found my loacal leader, i was frantic, i started eating oatmeal, drinking the tea, taking fenugreek, warm baths with DS (we still do this every night ) and after a week i went to the local meeting and met my leader face to face, she said everything Shelly said above, she also said that ALL moms go through this, I just had to play catch up, she was right, find a spot get the remote and camp out with lo nursing all day, don't plan to clean or run errands or even shower every day, after a few weeks you will find your groove....
    Autumn
    Moma to *Silas* 10-30-07

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