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Thread: To wean or not to wean....we're desperate

  1. #1

    Default To wean or not to wean....we're desperate

    Hey there

    A concerned father here reading all the great helpful information and experiences on this forum. We have a 1 year old daughter who is actually our second girl. Her birth gave us the opportunity to discover that "high needs" babies do indeed exist in this world.

    We believe in nursing the kids for obvious reasons. And the first one was a piece of cake. But Laila, our second, has been tough from the start. She needs constant attention and keeps my wife "sore" all day and night. Recently we found out that she's gonna have another baby. But there's been debates over whether orn ot she should try to continue breastfeeding. Our doctor advises against it but without any real reasons.

    Our pregnancies usually go very well from beginning to end and we opt for C-section every time. Last week we decided to try weaning because Laila was just playing with it for comfort and it was just getting too uncomfortable for the wife at night. That didnt go over well, because Laila has become a complete terror when she gets tired. Nothing works. She screams like night terrors. It will go on for hours and her will is stronger than you would think. Just putting her on the boob cures it.

    So anyway, today we gave in and put her back on there. It had been a week since the last time and she was actually a little confused at first. But, that lasted 5 seconds. But, its like she uses it for "re-charging" and gets up and runs again. She takes short naps. If she wakes during a nap, the wife has to lie down and hook her up. She's verrrry high needs you know.

    My concern here is whether or not it is really unadvisable to continue breastfeeding. If complications do come around, what happens then? Its beyond tiresome to carry a baby around for hours straight just to get her quiet. The wife says she drying up so there really isnt anything to the feeding anymore.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    198

    Default Re: To wean or not to wean....we're desperate

    I'm not positive but I think Docs don't want mom's to BF during pregnancy because of hormone imbalance. I don't know if it is harmful to the pregnancy or just a precaution. There is a forum specifically for BFing while pregnant, you may get better info there. As far as weaning goes, if she made it a week you never know. Maybe try to do it more gradually. Go every other day, then two, then three. etc. It may make the parting a little easier. And, when she wakes at night try a snuggle instead, unless she's that stubborn. Your poor wife. I hope everything goes well with your LO and with pregnancy.
    Mommy to Madilyn Born 4/25/07 9lbs. 15oz.
    C-section
    for 17 months. Greatest momments of my life!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    18,063

    Default Re: To wean or not to wean....we're desperate

    http://www.llli.org/NB/NBpregnancy.html

    heres a link with info about nursing during pregnancy....

    When I was pg with little sis I just had to wean my son, because nursing was just way to painfull!



    Breastfeeding During Pregnancy
    I'm Pregnant and Still Nursing My Toddler--Must I Wean Now

    http://www.llli.org/FAQ/bfpregnant.html



    and this might help too
    how to wean my baby
    How Do I Wean My Baby?

    http://www.llli.org/FAQ/weanhowto.html

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    37

    Default Re: To wean or not to wean....we're desperate

    The other reason I've heard doctors prefer a woman not breastfeed while pregnant is that nipple stimulation can cause uterine contractions. My dd was premature, and this would be a big concern for me with another pregnancy. Good luck with everything. I have a very high needs and demanding daughter as well, so I totally understand
    AnneMarie
    Mom to Liana Hope
    Born 12/25/06 at 31 weeks, weighing only 2 pounds!
    Now she weighs 26 pounds
    and is the best!
    Food allergies are the pits

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    1,307

    Default Re: To wean or not to wean....we're desperate

    Here is a great link with lots of information:

    http://www.kellymom.com/nursingtwo/faq/index.html

    Unless your wife has a high risk pregnancy then it is typically okay to nurse when pregnant. Many women do it. If your wife is uncomfortable with nursing as frequently as she is, there is nothing wrong with putting limits on the nursing. Only nurse at certain times or for a certain length of time. You can try to replace some nursing sessions with other activities or maybe a cuddle with mom would help.
    Mom to Lainey (11-8-06)

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    Default Re: To wean or not to wean....we're desperate

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*laineysmom View Post
    Here is a great link with lots of information:

    http://www.kellymom.com/nursingtwo/faq/index.html

    Unless your wife has a high risk pregnancy then it is typically okay to nurse when pregnant. Many women do it. If your wife is uncomfortable with nursing as frequently as she is, there is nothing wrong with putting limits on the nursing. Only nurse at certain times or for a certain length of time. You can try to replace some nursing sessions with other activities or maybe a cuddle with mom would help.
    It's all about the limits.

    There are a lot of ladies here who have nursed/are nursing during pregnancy (me included). Like laineysmom said, it is perfectly safe with a normal pregnancy, though many women do feel discomfort and often the milk will dry up to a certain extent. Sometimes the child will wean on his/her own at that point, sometimes not.

    I was getting very uncomfortable nursing at night so we made the decision to night wean and stop nursing to sleep. We used the Dr. Jay Gordon method (here's an article) for night weaning and it has worked for us, though I did not stick strictly to his time frame. I took it much slower so it's taken several weeks. I stopped nursing her to sleep by putting limits on bedtime nursing. I tell her I'll sing twinkle twinkle 3 times and then no more milk. She cries for a few minutes and then settles down to sleep. This worked extremely well and extremely quickly for us.

    Good luck to both of you in whatever you decide and congratulations on the new baby!!
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    166

    Default Re: To wean or not to wean....we're desperate

    I agree with the others. Unless your wife has special circumstances that make her pregnancy high risk, nursing during pregnancy should not be a problem if she wants to continue. Now, many women choose not to continue because it can be painful. If you choose to wean, I think it would be easier on both your wife and your child to do it slowly by cutting one feeding at a time. Your wife may find that just cutting down the frequency of nursing works for her without having to wean completely. Also, it's very common for babies to want to wean by themselves during pregnancy because the milk can taste different or go away. There is a whole forum here at this site for nursing during pregnancy, so you know it's not that uncommon!

    Unfortunately, many doctors don't know nearly what they should about breastfeeding in general, and that includes breastfeeding during pregnancy. They often seem to give incorrect advice, and people listen to their bad advice because they trust the doctor.

    As for myself, I am currently 6 weeks pregnant and have found that my daughter has already cut her nursing sessions about in half. I am not experiencing any pain or discomfort (yet?) with nursing. My friend is also pregnant and felt that she had to wean her son by 8 weeks because it hurt her so bad. Everyone's experience will be different.
    -Alicia
    Mommy to Cadence (5/19/06) and Tessa (4/25/09)

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