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Thread: It feels so wierd to post here, but....

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Fort Wayne, IN
    Posts
    384

    Default It feels so wierd to post here, but....

    I've thought about it a lot and I feel like it's time to wean my DD. She turned 2 the beginning of last month and DH and I just started TTC our second. I know a lot of women nurse throughout their pregnancies and even tandem nurse, but I would personally rather have her weaned within the next few months. I just don't even know where to begin and how we're going to do it. She is such a boobie girl and always has been a huge comfort nurser. I've been doing the whole "Don't Offer, Don't Refuse" for a good year or so now and it's safe to say that this method is not working for us. People have told me just to tell her no and not give it to her, but I know she'd absolutely freak out and with good reason too. She's had boobie everyday of her life so I really don't want to just cut her off all of a sudden.

    Anyone have any advice? I don't regret nursing her this long at all and am glad that I did it, but at the same time I feel like we're kinda screwed when it comes to stopping now
    Last edited by @llli*Caseytf; August 12th, 2008 at 04:36 PM. Reason: spelling error
    ~Proud AP Mama To Natalie Ann *7/9/06* & Isabella Faith *7/6/09*~

  2. #2

    Default Re: It feels so wierd to post here, but....

    How many times a day does she nurse now? During the day? at night? Are they regular times?

    Have you tried distracting her and stretching the time between when she asks and when you sit down to nurse her?

    Does she have the tools to fall asleep by herself without nursing to sleep yet?

    Sorry for so many questions, but I think that those are places to start with the weaning process. Personally, I'd work towards establishing a routine for going to sleep that doesn't involve nursing if she's still nursing to sleep. That would be the hardest session for me to want to give up, because its my tried and true way to get my youngest down to sleep for the night. My oldest son self weaned much earlier than my youngest, even though personality wise I don't think he would've if I hadn't night weaned him first. So if you want to wean, I guess I'd start with that, but that's just me...everybody does it a little differently.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    8,018

    Default Re: It feels so wierd to post here, but....

    Many people start with the sessions that seem to be least important to their LOs. Often the morning and evening feedings are last to go. Sometimes moms wean down to 1 or 2 feedings per day and are happy to continue at that point (that's what I've done with my older DD). It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

    LLL's philosophy is to wean slowly and with love for the easiest physical and emotional transition for both you and your LO.

    I highly, highly recommend the book How Weaning Happens for great suggestions on how to limit/wean a toddler. Things like distraction, changing your routine, offering substitutions, delaying ("Let's read a book/eat lunch/go for a walk first and we can nurse after that."), etc.

    Sometimes it will probably feel like 2 steps forward, one step back.

    Lots more information about weaning here.


    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    1,501

    Default Re: It feels so wierd to post here, but....

    I feel for you, mama! My son is just over 18 months and I am 7 weeks pregnant. I had had visions of me nursing both of my children together, but I found that once I got pregnant, I just couldn't keep up with the nutritional needs of three people and it was making me sick, so I had to wean. I thought it was going to be torture for my little one (who was still nursing 4-5 times a day with vigor). But he actually dealt with it pretty complacently. I cut the nursing down to one morning and one night session and did that for a week or so, then cut out mornings, then cut out evenings. It actually happened a lot faster than I had expected it to. Gabe whined about it a bit at first, but he got used to the idea. Especially once I started adding chocolate to his milk... (not every time, just once in a while).

    I miss my little nurseling. Now I have to remind myself to find other ways to continue bonding with him (we've been reading a lot more books together lately, which is a good thing). He's healthy and happy, and that's what matters.
    ~Sylvia~

    Wife to Nick, m. May 2005

    Mommy to Gabriel (b. January 2007, 8lbs. 15oz.), nursed 18 months.

    Isaac (b. August 2009, 9lbs. 1oz- naturally), nursed 22 months, through PPD/PPA and emergency gallbladder surgery.

    and Corban (b. March 2012, 11lbs. 6Oz.- naturally in the water), my NICU baby, still nursing strong at age 2!


    Daughter of God

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    332

    Default Re: It feels so wierd to post here, but....

    'Mothering your nursing toddler' has also many suggestions for gradual weaning.
    My other thought is that since you never know how long it's going to take to conceive again, one option might be to start the weaning process very gradually (say with the nursing sessions that are least important to your DD), and see how it goes. Remember that most children (I think nearly 70% in one study cited in the book above mentioned) wean themselves during pregnancy, so if you become pregnant and DD is still nursing, the changes brought on by the pregnancy may (or may not) accelerate the weaning process without you having to do much about it.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*Caseytf View Post
    I've thought about it a lot and I feel like it's time to wean my DD. She turned 2 the beginning of last month and DH and I just started TTC our second. I know a lot of women nurse throughout their pregnancies and even tandem nurse, but I would personally rather have her weaned within the next few months. I just don't even know where to begin and how we're going to do it. She is such a boobie girl and always has been a huge comfort nurser. I've been doing the whole "Don't Offer, Don't Refuse" for a good year or so now and it's safe to say that this method is not working for us. People have told me just to tell her no and not give it to her, but I know she'd absolutely freak out and with good reason too. She's had boobie everyday of her life so I really don't want to just cut her off all of a sudden.

    Anyone have any advice? I don't regret nursing her this long at all and am glad that I did it, but at the same time I feel like we're kinda screwed when it comes to stopping now

  6. #6

    Default Re: It feels so wierd to post here, but....

    I have no advice - just sympathy and commiseration. My son is just over two, and I would LOVE to be done nursing, but don't see it happening any time soon. My biggest problem is night nursing, we haven't night weaned and I think if I could get that accomplished, then the day time nursing would fade away on it's own.
    Melissa
    Mom to Jessica (2/7/03) breastfed for 8 months
    Sam (7/6/06) breastfed for three years, five months, two weeks and three days (not that I was counting or anything :-)
    Julianna (4/29/10) struggled thru nursing strike, nipple confusion, thrush, multiple cracks and fissures, a staph infection and then another bout of thrush, but happily nursing away
    www.cohenfamily-melissa.blogspot.com

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Louisburg, NC
    Posts
    28

    Default Re: It feels so wierd to post here, but....

    At 15 months my daughter actually "forgot" one morning (this was our biggest feeding) and didn't ask to nurse so I took her cue and figured she was ready to stop. I distracted her when she would ask. The next couple of days she would get a little upset when I said no but I would distract her with a "treat." She handled it much better than I thought - the emotions were more on my side than hers. It was very hard to say No because I loved nursing her - it was our special time. But if she actually was so distracted that she didn't ask to nurse at one of her most important times I figured she was getting older and didn't have the need anymore.

    I think the key is gradually taking away one or more of the lesser feedings like Molly said. Then when she asks for a feeding at one of the times you have decided to cut off, giving her a small treat might help the process. Consistency is key. I almost broke down and nursed Adria again but I knew I would send mixed signals and it would be harder and harder to stop.

    I wonder if in the process of trying to wean her you reinforced the idea that she will be a big sister soon and the new baby will need mommy's boobs for milk. She might respond to that. What do you think?

    Hope it helps!
    Peggie
    ~~~~~~~~~~

    Ask me about BELLY BUTTON RINGS to use during your pregnancy to protect your PIERCING!

    ~~~~~~~~~~

    Married to an amazing man and friend, Anthony - 4/10/04

    Mother to Adria - a home-birthed , breastfed, hazel-eyed smoocher! 12/21/05


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