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Thread: time management in evenings

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    92

    Default time management in evenings

    Hi ladies,

    I'm another full-time working mom with not enough time! Here is my story: DH is a SAHD, and when I get home around 5, he's beat, so I "take over" caring for DS (almost 9 months old).

    DS usually wakes up from a nap as I get home. Then it's nurse, read/play a few min, solids, bath, play a little bit, nurse, bed. Bedtime is usually between 7 and 8pm.

    Then I start the marathon: washing bottles, dishes (no dishwasher!), cooking dinner for DH and myself, shower, pump, try to get to bed ASAP since he usually wakes during the night. I have no downtime...

    So... I would like to be able to cut down the time my routine takes. And I would REALLY like us to sit down and eat dinner together. I've been trying to cook at night for the next day, so that I just have to heat things, but I'm so tired that I usually don't. Another issue is that my diet is very restricted due to DS's reflux, so most of our meals are different. I'm thinking about buying a playpen for the kitchen so I can watch DS and cook, but since I don't see him much on weekdays, I feel bad about not giving him my full attention.

    I feel like I have 3 full-time jobs. Help! How do you manage dinner and DC?
    DS 11/16/07 :: Infant reflux and milk protein intolerance, egg and peanut allergies

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    1,177

    Default Re: time management in evenings

    This is kind of interesting. It's great that your dh is a sahd. I'm, for the most part a sahm. I'm exhausted when dh get's home too. But he certainly doesn't take over for me. We split up the rest of the night. We usually take turns making supper depending on what we are having. For example - I make supper, he entertains/plays with the kids. After supper I give the kids a bath while he does the dishes. We have 2 kids, I put one to bed, he does the other. Then we finsish cleaning up. And sure it takes up most of our night. We get some down time once everything is all done. Not very much though.

    Could your dh start dinner earlier in the day? Maybe just the prep work? What about a crockpot?

    Evenings are always frustrating here.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Durham, NC
    Posts
    723

    Default Re: time management in evenings

    My dh is a sahd... has been all along. DS is now 26 months.

    First off my DH is the best ever. He rocks and helps out A LOT. Here's the run down.

    AM - he gets up with ds used to be change his diaper - now helps him to bathroom. Then he goes and makes breakfast (PBJ on toast and tea) for me while I get ready. During this time he also gets all my stuff (i.e. lunch, used to be pump bag etc.) and puts it next to the door and he unloads the dishwasher.

    All day, he'd put all the bottles in the sink.

    When I come home I nurse/play with DS. Then I would figure out something for ds for dinner and feed him.

    Then DH would bathe ds -- I'd have a little down time.

    Then I would go to help ds get dressed and then nurse to sleep. During this time... ds would finish making our dinner and would clean all the bottles by hand and also wash my pump items.

    I would get laundry sorted and washed if needed. DH helps fold and usually puts stuff away.

    After our dinner he'd load the dishwasher and I'd help with cleaning up and pack my lunch.

    So... I know I am lucky and I am sure your dh is trying, but if mine can manage all of the above, maybe yours can step it up a little bit and help you too. After all - you also have to be tired from working all day.

    HTH.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    2,552

    Default Re: time management in evenings

    I understand your SAHD is tired in the evenings. I know my husband, also a SAHD, is tired too. So am I when I get home! I'm sure you are too. It's only fair that you split up everything 50/50 in my opinion. I make dinner when I get home, but DH does the dishes. I pump exclusively, and that takes up some time for me, so DH usually gets him to bed while I pump. What does your DH do while you are doing your marathon of housework?

    Also, usually my DS (10 months) is out in the kitchen while I make dinner so that I am still sort of hanging out with him, even if I can't give him my full attention. My husband also does the dishes before I get home. He puts DS in a high chair right next to him with some brown rice puffs to keep him busy (if he can't get him to take an afternoon nap). I know he also puts DS in the ergo on his back while he does laundry. Being the stay-at-home parent is not the easy job, but maybe there is a way he can work smarter without working harder to get some stuff done during the day so it's not so much to do at night?
    Beth

    Exclusively pumped for Lance Oct 07
    Nursed until just before he turned 3 Levi Oct 09

    Do you have extra milk? Consider donating!
    http://www.hmbana.org/:

    "So I was welcomed by the consolations of human milk; but it was not my mother or my nurses who made any decision to fill their breasts, but you who through them gave me infant food, in accordance with your ordinance and the riches which are distributed deep in the natural order." -St Augustine

  5. #5

    Default Re: time management in evenings

    My DH is SAHD and he cooks dinner for the family and we eat together at 5:30 and do some clean up together while DD (10 months) plays. We have a chore chart with one cleaning and outdoor/shopping task per day. My DH tries to get some of the tasks done during the day otherwise I will usually do it when DD goes to sleep at 7:00. We both do what we call (hitting the reset button) together each evening which consists of getting the living room, kitchen and bathroom picked up. We are lucky that I work 34 hours a week instead of 40 because that 6 hours of home time really makes the difference between doable and hectic.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Great Britain!
    Posts
    100

    Default Re: time management in evenings

    I'm kind of new to the mum thing, and my lo is only 7 weeks, but i have found that if i need to do something in the kitchen (like make a sandwich or a cup of tea) I pop Her Majesty in her bouncer and then describe everything I'm doing in detail= Mummy puts the water in the kettle- etc. She loves it, and I get a drink! I hope you manage to get somemore time from somewhere, and a round of applause for your other haf too!
    Proud mummy to Lillypig, in love with my best friend and partner, Batfink
    One year done, and still going strong.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    sleepless in ohio
    Posts
    2,389

    Default Re: time management in evenings

    Just wanted to echo the PP's...Can your DH start dinner? Do dishes? That's what I would arrange for. I know he's exhausted after taking care of your LO during the day, but coming home after a full-day's work is exhausting as well. You need a little help, mama!
    Sarah- Mommy to Ally (4/16/06) , Katlyn (11/13/07) & Rebekah (10/21/09)
    All three, all natural!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    816

    Default Re: time management in evenings

    DH and I both work full-time except during the summer when we both have off (only different months off so never both home together). DH usually gets dinner started. Then we take turns with the dishes. Sometimes DH does it while I bathe DD and sometimes we switch. Or DH will do dishes or some other chore while I nurse DD and put her to bed. If one of us needs to get something done in the kitchen and the other isn't able to watch DD we put her in the highchair and pull her near with a toy of a snack. She really likes watching us wash dishes, unload the dishwasher and do dinner prep. We usually sing songs or chat with her all the while. We also feed DD at the same time we eat dinner so that saves a bit of time. We can save some time on meals by cooking large meals on Saturday and Sunday that will yield leftovers for the beginning of the week and then try to stick to easy to make meals for the rest of the week. Save all the stuff that takes a while to cook or involves lots of prep for the weekend.
    I'm Wendi.
    Mom to:
    DD1 7/28/07 for 21 mos and weaned with
    &
    DD2 12/16/09

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    8,018

    Default Re: time management in evenings

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*ak411 View Post
    Just wanted to echo the PP's...Can your DH start dinner? Do dishes? That's what I would arrange for. I know he's exhausted after taking care of your LO during the day, but coming home after a full-day's work is exhausting as well. You need a little help, mama!
    My DH is a SAHD (of three kids!) and he almost always makes dinner or at least gets it started before I get home. When I arrive home, I help finish dinner if needed, we all eat together, and then I am pretty much in charge of the children until sleep time. He has some time to himself. We play or go for a walk if we have time, I bathe them and get them ready for bed, nurse and read stories, etc. We both help with the dishes/trade off depending on what's going on that night. He hates doing dishes so I bribe him, e.g. "I'll give you a back massage if you do the dishes while I'm nursing DD2 to sleep."

    If you plan your meals ahead for the week and make enough to have leftovers for 2-3 days, that will cut down on meal prep.

    Also, don't feel too bad about putting your LO down for a little while if you need to. When we need to put the baby down we use either a swing, exersaucer, or floor gym. We also wear her a lot but you have to be very careful about mixing babywearing and meal prep.

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    8,272

    Default Re: time management in evenings

    DH and I are both "out of the house". I work and he's a full time student.

    We both pitch in and do whatever is needed at that moment - whether its cooking, washing dishes, washing pump parts (when I was pumping), taking care of DS, making DS lunch for the next day, etc.

    We have an unspoken rule that neither of us gets to go relax until everything is done. That way everything gets done earlier and we both get some "down time" in the evenings.

    One technique I've found that helps is so say things like: "Do you want to start cooking dinner or do you want to give DS a bath?"
    Lynn
    DS1: bf 7/2006 -> 4/2009; multiple food allergies
    DS2: bf 9/2009 -> ???
    ; multiple food allergies
    Breastmilk Donor - http://hmbana.org/index/donatemilk
    Click HERE to learn about baby led solids (BLS) / baby led weaning (BLW)

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