Re: Unhealthy nursing relationship-need some serious help
I am so sorry for all the stress you are experiencing right now... Wow. Please remember to take note of that -- that you are undergoing an incredible amount of stress in your life. Just acknowledging that is so important for your own mental health.
I noticed that someone suggested using other methods of giving him breastmilk, like from a spoon or cup, and I personally agree that it is a good option to try. Perhaps you could eventually find a method of timing the use of a cup combined with nursing in a way that will work for both of you. You can even hand express milk into the cup if going back and forth between breast and cup is what works, thus relieving your full breasts a bit, cutting down on the OALD, and being able to remain in contact with your ds as you switch between the two.
I would also be interested in knowing if there's something going on in his mouth that makes sucking uncomfortable. Did your 3 old have any dental/oral issues? It might be worth a conversation with a pediatric dentist, just to find out about some of the things that can cause mouth pain in infants, because there's much more than just teething that can cause challenges.
Finally, I think the sentiment that you need to take time to care for yourself is essential. Is there any way that your MIL can watch both children for brief periods of time to allow you to just step outside without any children and take a breath and get back in touch with yourself, if only for few minutes? It can make a world of difference in your perspective, even if the external situation remains the same...
Please keep us posted. I'll be thinking of you often...
Mama to Lorenzo, born 4/25/2007. NICU graduate, Gastro-Esohapgeal Reflux, Obstructive Sleep Apnea, Sensory Processing Disorder...alive and thriving thanks to breastfeeding and co-sleeping.
Those who say it can't be done should not interrupt the person doing it.