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Thread: When did you start "don't offer don't refuse"?

  1. #1
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    Default When did you start "don't offer don't refuse"?

    We are planning to start TTC in December. DD is 10MO and I still haven't had a period. If she turns a year and still no AF, what should I do? Is it better to just make her go longer between nursing sessions, or should I give her whole milk from a sippy cup to replace a nursing session?

    I would really love to BF until she is at least 15 months old and I would even be okay with breastfeeding while I'm pregnant, but I worry that I'm going to have to wean her completely in order to get my cycle back I think for me, I would be very happy and proud to breastfeed her for a year and wean in order to get pregnant, but ideally she would self-wean or at least start to before I had to cut her off completely.

    Maybe I'm worrying about this too soon. I don't know...


    Jeanne (my middle name IRL)


    Mommy to two girls (M & M), born Sept. '07 and Sept. '09

  2. #2
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    Default Re: When did you start "don't offer don't refuse"?

    I didn't start DODR until DS was 12 months. But AF returned for me at 11 months when he dropped down to 4 feedings a day. I think you've got enough time to let things happen naturally before you need to worry - you never know it could show up tomorrow or in October.

    i know its frustrating not knowing when but hang in there!
    mom to Robert Giovanni born June 20, 2007.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: When did you start "don't offer don't refuse"?

    Thanks for responding. That's good to know that you didn't get yours until 11 months. I think it is too soon to worry about it. Thanks


    Jeanne (my middle name IRL)


    Mommy to two girls (M & M), born Sept. '07 and Sept. '09

  4. #4
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    Default Re: When did you start "don't offer don't refuse"?

    I'm gonna say your worrying too soon There's a chart somewhere, probably on kellymom where it shows the average for getting your period back. Usually after sometime of longer periods on not nursing your body will get the signal to get things started.
    I believe that most moms get it back by at least 18 months, I know that sounds way later than you were thinking but most likely it will happen before then!
    Give yourself sometime and see how you feel about it closer to the time your TTC. There's usually a big slow down in nursing around 12 months or so and that might do it for you.
    My LO nursed EVERY two hours till 11 months and then he started cutting back. I used to not be able to go more than two hours without needing to nurse or pump after a year things really changed! I got my period back at 14 months but I ovulated before then (I have ovulation pain) and things have been pretty normal since then.

    ETA I didn't even answer your question! I did DODR after a year, the pressure is really off. Nursing a toddler has been more fun less work!

  5. #5
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    Default Re: When did you start "don't offer don't refuse"?

    Is this your 1st child?
    I found with each nurseling it took longer for my period to return.
    Your toddler is still very young.
    My last two babies were 2 years and 2 weeks apart.
    We used condoms for about 3 months after I got my period back.
    Ds was still nursing for nap and to go to bed at night and 1st thing in the am when I got pg...

    Hows your little one doing with solids?

  6. #6
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    Default Re: When did you start "don't offer don't refuse"?

    I was worried about TTC while nursing my twins not too long ago. I was on the minipill until they were about 13 months old and hadn't had a period (although my OB had told me that I would likely get my period soon when I went on the minipill at 6 weeks).

    Someone told me that anecdotally it seems to her that a lot of moms get their periods around the 12 month mark. That makes sense to me because somewhere between 11 and 12 months my babies started really enjoying their solid foods and I noticed a big decrease in how long they ate and how much I could pump at work. I've also read many times that a woman's period will return soon after her baby night weans. My girls night weaned somewhere in that same time frame.

    In any case, my story is that I went off the minipill when my daughters were around 13 months old to see if my periods would return so I could see what my cycle would be like before trying to conceive. I didn't have a period, but lo and behold, I am pregnant because we apparently caught the first egg even while I was nursing.

    And now I am still nursing my 16 month old twins 2-3 times a day although they also drink about 14 ounces of soy milk a day too.

    I had decided that I was going to let my girls self wean even if it might mean waiting another year to conceive, but things worked out. And it seems like pregnancy has caused my milk supply to drop which is kind of sad, but at the same time it seems to be helping my daughters to easily self wean.

    I don't think that you will find that you will have to cut your daughter off completely in order to get pregnant. That was one of my worries too.

    Best of luck!

    kristi
    and mom to Haneul and Iseul, our fraternal twin girls born 3-29-07

  7. #7
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    Default Re: When did you start "don't offer don't refuse"?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*andreafromohio View Post
    Is this your 1st child?
    I found with each nurseling it took longer for my period to return.
    Your toddler is still very young.
    My last two babies were 2 years and 2 weeks apart.
    We used condoms for about 3 months after I got my period back.
    Ds was still nursing for nap and to go to bed at night and 1st thing in the am when I got pg...

    Hows your little one doing with solids?
    Yes, this is my first child. She is doing pretty well with solids... She doesn't eat a whole lot right now, but I think she'll be doing fine by 12MO

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*bunnyscooltes View Post
    ETA I didn't even answer your question! I did DODR after a year, the pressure is really off. Nursing a toddler has been more fun less work!
    Thanks And thanks for the encouragement. My orignal title question kind of changed by the time I was finished writing my post

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mokpochica View Post
    I've also read many times that a woman's period will return soon after her baby night weans. My girls night weaned somewhere in that same time frame.
    That's a good point about the night-weaning. Some nights are better than others, but we usually don't make it the whole night...

    Congrats on your pregnancy


    Jeanne (my middle name IRL)


    Mommy to two girls (M & M), born Sept. '07 and Sept. '09

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