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Thread: Anyone ever get positive criticism?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    Default Anyone ever get positive criticism?

    Not sure if that is the right word to describe it. DS is 13 months old. Right around his first birthday, I was asked almost daily by friends and relatives if he was weaned or if I was going to wean him. I let them all know that we have been weaning slowly at his own pace, but we still are nursing frequently. He eats great and drinks some cows milk, but loves to nurse, and I love it to so we will continue this way as long as he likes. I'm so thrilled that he knows the sign for "nummies" and when I refer to it, he nuzzles into my chest and tries to move my shirt out of the way. It is the cure all for every boo boo, and is the only time he is not moving or getting into everything in site.

    So, why doesn't anyone ever comment about how great it is, or how lucky a boy he is to have a Mom so in tune with him? He is so outgoing, good natured and content. I don't get it?

    That is why we go to LLL Meetings and frequent these boards. We're so far and few and I wish it was more the norm.

    I've had friends who bottle feed and wean their babies from the bottle at a year (the same time they are transitioning to whole milk) and tell me their toddlers refuse milk. I wonder why? I can see not putting the baby to bed with a bottle, but for comfort it is the same as nursing. So is a pacifier (which my 2 1/2 year old still finds comfort in when going to bed). Why are we in such a rush for our babies to grow up?

    Brenda

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Anyone ever get positive criticism?

    I was at the the tire place last wweek and a man asked me how old he was and commented how big he was. He saw is teeth and asked about solids and I said "we're still exclusively nursing". He said "@ 7 months?" I nodded. He said "Wow! Your the Mom of the century for that!" (I'm sure in three months everyone will think it weird)

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: Anyone ever get positive criticism?

    I have had positive reinforcement, from a very unlikely source too! I am a firefighter and work with mostly men. We were on a prescribed burn and I am still not back to my prepregnancy shape, so I was hanging back a bit on the hike in and the burn boss slowed down to encourage me in his very manly way. It was steep hill, so I needed a break and he asked if I was still nursing. I said yeah, and he made some joke about it (that could probably get him fired if it had been to any other person but me--we are pretty good friends and have an understanding). Then he said, well, ya know, its the best thing. My wife breastfed both my kids until they weaned themselves. Keep going until you can't go anymore. It sure is a commitment, but one you won't regret! I couldn't believe it. Then we laughed at some of the things assoc. with breastfeeding. It was really nice!

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs


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  4. #4
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    Apr 2006
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    Default Re: Anyone ever get positive criticism?

    Quote Originally Posted by mum2-2boys
    He eats great and drinks some cows milk, but loves to nurse, and I love it to so we will continue this way as long as he likes. I'm so thrilled that he knows the sign for "nummies" and when I refer to it, he nuzzles into my chest and tries to move my shirt out of the way. It is the cure all for every boo boo, and is the only time he is not moving or getting into everything in site.
    Thanks for sharing. That is so sweet! I hope to be in your shoes when my son is that old.

    I have been praised by my MIL for nursing my son. She saw him when he was 6 months old and we were nursing. She said, "I'm so glad your still nursing. I really hope you continue until at least a year."

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    281

    Default Re: Anyone ever get positive criticism?

    My whole family has been incredibly supportive of bfing for a whole year... and in fact, just they all just assumed that I would. Ironically, it has been my Dad that has been the most supportive. He is just in awe at how much easier bfing is than ff'ing and will tell anyone that will listen that his grandson has only had one cold. My sister in law actually mailed me an breastfeeding award certificate for my son's first birthday.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Anyone ever get positive criticism?

    I've been really lucky to have several women friends who nursed their babies - and across the board, all of them have been very supportive and when they ask if I'm still nursing (at 16 months) they are rather effusive in their "wow, that's great!!" - though one of them is on me pretty hard to stop nursing during the night... My MIL nursed all four of her kids and has been universally supportive - though I think she is starting to think I've gone long enough and should be weaning... thankfully she hasn't said this outright, but the positive feedback re: nursing has stopped being forthcoming! I remember her commenting, when I asked about one of the other DIL's in the family and her breastfeeding, I got a "no! that child is 2! of course she's not still nursing!", so....

    My own mother has given lip-service kind of praise to our BF efforts but has been asking me "when are you going to stop doing THAT" since, oh, J was 4
    months old.... no positive criticism there, that's for sure!

    We haven't NIP'd in such a long time; I don't think I ever got any positive feedback from passers by; got a few leering looks from some guys once and some quisitive looks from some older (think 80 years) man... Now when we're out at any children's parks or museums, I make darn sure to give great big smiles to any moms of LO's I see who are nursing. If there is a receptive response, we'll chat and I'll praise. If it's more of a "thanks, but please don't approach" kind of look, I respect that!

    Yup; I've come to treasure this forum and so many of the positive, informative and genuinely caring and open-minded people here. It's a safe haven and just a wonderful community.
    -linda

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: Anyone ever get positive criticism?

    My dd is two years old and it's been a LONG time since I've gotten any praise for nursing her from ANYONE. But at this age, they don't make negative comments either. Here's a very common conversation:
    Them: "What is she saying?"
    Me: "Nursies."
    Them: "Oh..." (long silence)

    But when she was tiny, I got positive feedback.

    Its ok because now she gets her own compliments about her looks, her behavior and her abilities. These things mean more to me at this point anyway. Its nice when she gets all these compliments first and THEN people learn that she's "still" nursing. Then I feel that we've promoted extended nursing.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    44

    Default Re: Anyone ever get positive criticism?

    Other than my own mom, I don't personally know ANYONE who has nursed as long as I am doing. My DD is 22 1/2 mths, still going strong and will wean when she is ready to. The only positive comments I get are from my mom who nursed me until I was 2 1/2. No one really says anything negative to me but you can hear it in the tone they use when I tell them we are still nursing - 'oh, wow!'. I went back to work FT when DD was 3 mths and people were pretty surprised that I was a working mom BFing even then. Most just assume that I couldn't possibly STILL be BFing given the demands of my job PLUS her age. But I can always count on my mother's support (she has always been there for me). My mom cares for DD while I am a work. DD often wants to nurse as soon as I pick her up, so I just sit on my mom's couch and give her a 'drinky'. My mom smiles and says to my DD 'there you go. there's nothing like mommy's milk'. What positive reinforcement!

  9. #9
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: Anyone ever get positive criticism?

    Cookie, your mom sounds like a gem and I'm so happy that you have this relationship! Give your mom an extra hug -- from all of us nursing moms!!
    -linda

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    50

    Default Re: Anyone ever get positive criticism?

    My dd is almost 14 months and we don't get a lot of positive feedback anymore. My mom only nursed my brother and I for about 4 months each - and I tell her I appreciate that - and she is supportive, although I think she's ready for me to stop, but knows I won't (I nursed Nik til 17 months when he self-weaned). She knows I won't 'hide' when I nurse and told her new husband that if he's uncomfy then he better go, cuz I won't. I love that she said that and didn't try to shame me out of the room or something.
    My MIL didn't nurse any of her 3, her other 2 DIL's didn't nurse/ didn't nurse for long, and I think she's impressed by me and my commitment.
    We need more positive comments and that's one of the many reasons I love going to LLL meetings!

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