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Thread: Criticized for night feeding

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
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    168

    Unhappy Criticized for night feeding

    I need a comeback! My son just turned 4 months and he usually wakes up once per night around 1:30 to nurse and then again from anywhere from 4:30 to 5:30. I am tired during the day, but I didn't really think there was anything wrong with this pattern. I actually thought waking up basically once at night (the 2nd time just being a little too early in the morning for me) was pretty good. WELL, just last week I received some unsolicited advice from a good friend and a sister in law. Both said that he was old enough and weighed enough (he's 17 lbs) to sustain himself through the night. They said he was just waking up for comfort feeds and that not only was I probably giving him unneeded calories, but that I was setting up a bad habit. So now I'm feeling kind of insecure and wondering if they're right. Are they? And if they're not, is there a snappy little response I can give that will set them straight? Why is it that other people's opinions make me question myself so much????

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    284

    Default Re: Criticized for night feeding

    My 4 1/2 year old nurses at least once at night. Here are some replies I would give:

    Oh, overfeeding is what we were going for...we hope to have him enrolled in the heavyweight championship by 12 months

    I knew there was a reason I didnt read any books on babies or give any thought to parenting...you guys are just full of knowledge!

    Ok, so they are smart alec responses but I have resorted to that lately because I get so much negativity about my breastfeeding

  3. #3
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    Jun 2006
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    284

    Default Re: Criticized for night feeding

    Ok in all seriousnes you can reply that the AAP says breastfed babies are not physically ready to sleep through the night (which is only 5 hours anyway, technically) until they are 4-6 months are older.

  4. #4
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    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: Criticized for night feeding

    They are right that he can survive just fine through the night. They are also right that he's waking and nursing to be comforted. They aren't right about the calories. In fact, my ped wanted me to nurse my then 1.5 year old LESS so that she'd gain more weight. (Great timing with the WHO growth charts; dd followed those charts better than the ones the AAP uses.) Breastfed babies regulate their intake fabulously no matter when you feed them. I wouldn't worry about calories at all. And the "habit" is not something you're creating but something that babies start life out doing naturally.

    Any comebacks will work better if you don't come across as tired. The fact that I nurse at night has become a non-issue with caring and nosey people once I learned how to get enough sleep. Then they'd ask, "Is she sleeping though the night yet?" and I'd answer, "No, but we're all getting enough sleep so who cares?" This did not happen at four months. But at some point, we just got into such a rhythm that a brief moment of waking and nursing doesn't even seem to interrupt my sleep cycle... so NOW I guess you could call it a habbit, but I have a slim kid that doesn't resist bed time and will let me sleep in as long as I want, as long as she gets to nurse. So I guess now my answer would be, "I respond to my child at night because I'm lazy and I like my sleep." But people stop worrying about it if you look rested and don't complain about loss of sleep.

    Julie

  5. #5
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    Apr 2006
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    1,813

    Default Re: Criticized for night feeding

    When someones asks me if he sleep through the night I would say that I don't know b/c since his food court is open 24/7 he just help himself to it and I don't even notice it.

    But I like the "I knew there was a reason I didnt read any books on babies or give any thought to parenting...you guys are just full of knowledge!" advise that Jennifer gave you, very sarcastic and funny!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    167

    Default Re: Criticized for night feeding

    My mother who never BF, she said she could not sit still long enough??????? Anyways I love her to death, she is my best friend, is always asking if ds is sleeping through the night yet. And for about 2 months out 7 months he did. She just does not understand that and thinks that he must not be getting enough to eat from me and usually recommends supplementing with formula atleast once a month. I just ignore her and chalk it up to lack of experience. She would never understand that I actually enjoy our night time feedings, he actually eats better than!! I also love when I am so tired that I can bring him to bed and cuddle with him at the same time as I am feeding him and sleeping!!!
    Keep on with the night feedings if you don't mind them!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    196

    Default Re: Criticized for night feeding

    Are your cycles back yet? If not you can always use that. I always told people I was enjoying the absence of my cycles. If talking menstruation made them uncomfortable then they were really sorry they asked!

  8. #8
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    Jun 2006
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    Default Re: Criticized for night feeding

    OMG I love the cycles reply! I am going to use that from now on!!
    Eme
    Click here to find an LLL leader near you...or call 1 877 4 LA LECHE for help now.

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
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  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    32

    Default Re: Criticized for night feeding

    I got the same from my family, and my response? Well, even if the baby can sleep through the night, I can't, cos I have to wake up to pump to prevent engorgement, so might as well let the baby do the job since he's awake!
    It's the truth, and since I've changed my sleeping pattern to "sleep when baby sleep", I can cope in the daytime so questions about sleeping through the night are simply that, questions!
    Question though: for those babies who sleep through the night, don't mummies get engorged breasts???? the few nights my baby did that, I had a worse time cos have to do pumping......

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    929

    Default Re: Criticized for night feeding

    tanhui2,
    For those mom's whose babies do sleep through the night CONSISTENTLY their bodies can adjust and they don't get engorged. When DS first started sleeping longer at night I was waking up b/f him in pain but after a few nights my breasts got the clue and backed off; as if there is an internal clock. I can't do that during the day though; 3 hrs and I'm plumping up.

    Jennifer
    Amazed and Proud mom of Luke (Lucas) - 4/5/2006; 9 lbs 12 oz , 22in
    Wife to best friend Carl - 11/4/2001

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