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Thread: Wanting to wean at 25 months, how can I without making everyone miserable?

  1. #1
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    Aug 2007
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    Default Wanting to wean at 25 months, how can I without making everyone miserable?

    Here's some background {please bear with me!} At the end of April I nightweaned my 2-year old son, as he was waking 1-2 times every night to nurse, plus staying latched from about 5AM-7AM. This resulted in a very tired Mommy, thus the nightweaning. Now I let him nurse once it's light out - he still stays latched for 2 hours in the AM
    We also switched around our bedtime routine, from me nursing him and passing him over to Daddy to walk him to sleep, to nursing, teeth brushing, book, and laying down with Daddy. (He has cavities so we want to make sure he brushes after nursing, also one of the reasons for night weaning.)
    It has made my son want to nurse even more - I hear requests for "MamaMilk" lots, mostly if we are home and not constantly doing something stimulating. If he's bored, "MamaMilk", tired, "MamaMilk", and I guess I've just kind of had it. I'm really ready to wean, but I really wanted him to wean himself.
    I've gone to the LLL meetings, and I've received advice, but I'm still...conflicted. I know nobody can tell me whether to do it, but I feel that I'm ready to make a change as he's making life miserable {right now he is screaming for "MamaMilk" over and over even though Daddy is in the bedroom trying to comfort him,} and he throws tantrums over it.
    On one hand I feel like I'm taking away the thing he loves the most, on the other, I wonder whether his behavior will improve when he knows there is just no way around it, there is no more "MamaMilk". It seems like a constant power struggle between us and he just doesn't accept "no." Previously I had tried only nursing him before nap and before bedtime. That didn't seem to help {or made things worse} so I let him breastfeed a lot more on demand, and I'm worn out!
    Any advice for a weary mom?
    Stay-at-"Home"-Mom to DS born 5/9/06

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Wanting to wean at 25 months, how can I without making everyone miserable?

    Wow I totally feel for you. I do not have advice for what you are asking about but I can empathacize...

    DS turned 2 a few weeks ago. We had dental surgery under general anestesia nearly 2 weeks ago to fix 4 cavities - he now has 2 caps on his front (top) teeth. I was thinking to nightwean and also need to switch up the night routine and then take it from there.

    How'd you do those 2 things? Was it really difficult? How long did it take?

  3. #3
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    May 2006
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    Default Re: Wanting to wean at 25 months, how can I without making everyone miserable?

    My LO is also 2, although due to pregnancy, weaning has sped up more than I thought.

    I read recently somewhere (can't remember where...could have been the LLL mag, a parenting book...I don't know) about making a simple book about your child weaning and reading it to the child. That way they can know what to expect. Or even just talking about it when its not immediately wanted, might help.

    I'm sorry you're having a rough time.
    Mommy to 3 beautiful girls!

  4. #4
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    May 2008
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    Default Re: Wanting to wean at 25 months, how can I without making everyone miserable?

    I have gone through similiar situations 5 times, and here is my two cents worth. I know exactly what your saying, your going back and forth between guilt and sympathy for the child, and your wants and needs. I've weaned all my kids between 2 and 3 years and and it was a power struggle most times, but I've come up with a way to deal with it that works for us.
    If the weaning is his idea, then its not a fight against you......right? Sooooo..........
    If mama's milk tastes yekky.......then it's his idea. Your explanation? "I guess that's what happens when your a big boy, mama's milk must be for little boys."
    A garlic capsule is a magic thing, that is when there is a puncture hole in it, as is a dandelion stem......lol
    My experience with this is a lots of snuggling, no power struggle, and a very quick wean.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Wanting to wean at 25 months, how can I without making everyone miserable?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*wild.spirit View Post
    I have gone through similiar situations 5 times, and here is my two cents worth. I know exactly what your saying, your going back and forth between guilt and sympathy for the child, and your wants and needs. I've weaned all my kids between 2 and 3 years and and it was a power struggle most times, but I've come up with a way to deal with it that works for us.
    If the weaning is his idea, then its not a fight against you......right? Sooooo..........
    If mama's milk tastes yekky.......then it's his idea. Your explanation? "I guess that's what happens when your a big boy, mama's milk must be for little boys."
    A garlic capsule is a magic thing, that is when there is a puncture hole in it, as is a dandelion stem......lol
    My experience with this is a lots of snuggling, no power struggle, and a very quick wean.
    Yeah, I think that is the route I'm going to end up. I've been asked "why not just say no" but my son is very persistent and doesn't like to be told no. Of course, I do at times, but....I think yucky milk would make it easier.
    Thanks for the tips!
    Stay-at-"Home"-Mom to DS born 5/9/06

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Wanting to wean at 25 months, how can I without making everyone miserable?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*csan View Post
    ..... I was thinking to nightwean and also need to switch up the night routine and then take it from there.

    How'd you do those 2 things? Was it really difficult? How long did it take?

    Grr!! I typed a nice, long answer, but couldn't submit it right away, and when I did, I was logged out by this $@$#!^!*& server! What is the time limit anyways? Do they understand that sometimes we moms get interrupted by our kids?!?!?

    Anyways - I nightweaned by refusing to breastfeed when he woke up, and instead rocked him, walked with him, or just patted him back down. The first couple nights were rough and he cried for a bit and was up for an hour or two. It took me almost a month after I decided to do it to implement it, because I always got to bed so late I was so tired when he'd ask to nurse I knew it was easier. But after one night of falling asleep early, I had the energy (and willpower!) to do it. It took a month to get him to sleep 8-10 hours, but now he's pretty consistent. I tell him we can nurse when the lamp on the timer is on, and I control what time it goes on.
    Elizabeth Pantley's "The No Cry Sleep Solution" has some good ideas for nightweaning.

    The change in the routine, well, we just did it, and told him that after Mommy nurses him, no more MamaMilk. It's been over 8 weeks, and honestly, it's not working, and we don't know what to do. We're all so frustrated with the bedtime routine; it takes over an hour and involves a lot of crying.
    Stay-at-"Home"-Mom to DS born 5/9/06

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Wanting to wean at 25 months, how can I without making everyone miserable?

    Thanks.

    Hmmmmmmmm. Sounds like this might not be easy, I was kinda wishfully thinking a few days adjustment and we'd be set. Good to have some perspective on it now. Great idea about the lamp timer though thanks for sharing that.

    But if it makes you feel any better our bedtime routine the last few weeks has been taking more than an hour as well... sometimes 2... with nursing as the last thing - or trying to anyway (sometimes he'll nurse then be almost asleep and then something happens and next thing you know he's WIDE awake and jumping all over again so then after like an hour and a half of that back and forth nonsense I'll send in hubby. He'll rock and tell stories for another 15-20 min and then our son is screaming "Mommy!!!" again so I'll go back. This back and forth can go on one to 3 times sometimes! Maybe it's just a phase where they are resisting sleep no matter what you do to help.

    Thanks and good luck to you.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Wanting to wean at 25 months, how can I without making everyone miserable?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*csan View Post
    Thanks.

    Hmmmmmmmm. Sounds like this might not be easy, I was kinda wishfully thinking a few days adjustment and we'd be set. Good to have some perspective on it now. Great idea about the lamp timer though thanks for sharing that.

    But if it makes you feel any better our bedtime routine the last few weeks has been taking more than an hour as well... sometimes 2... with nursing as the last thing - or trying to anyway (sometimes he'll nurse then be almost asleep and then something happens and next thing you know he's WIDE awake and jumping all over again so then after like an hour and a half of that back and forth nonsense I'll send in hubby. He'll rock and tell stories for another 15-20 min and then our son is screaming "Mommy!!!" again so I'll go back. This back and forth can go on one to 3 times sometimes! Maybe it's just a phase where they are resisting sleep no matter what you do to help.

    Thanks and good luck to you.

    You know, every kid is different, but yours sounds pretty resilient, too!
    I've actually just stopped going in to rescue my husband, and he knows if he desperately needs me to he can call for me. My son was getting used to me coming in after a half hour if he just cries enough, so in essence he was being rewarded for being difficult.
    Oddly enough, the past 2 nights it seems like he's better on nights that I explain to him, while nursing, that after nursing he's going to go brush his teeth, read a book with Daddy, and then lay down quietly.......it's probably a fluke!
    Stay-at-"Home"-Mom to DS born 5/9/06

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