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Thread: Trying to wean, but how?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    Davenport, FL
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    Question Trying to wean, but how?

    We are trying to wean dd2 with the hopes to have her on milk next month.

    Dh thought I could go cold turkey, but I told him for breast health, mental health both me and dd2 it is not a good idea.

    I talked to my ped and a LLL Leader and got some tips but not sure if I am doing it right.

    I know there is not right way, but I am ready.

    Dd2 nurses about every 4 - 5 hrs until bedtime she will wake off and on and want to nurse. I try not to let her, but if she is really persisent (sp) I will let her until she shuckles and then I take her off.

    My dr said to get her to drink from a cup and if I need to supplement with formula. I gave her a cup with form. in it and she threw it at me. I do not blame her I know how bad it tastes.

    Dh is pushing for me to give her milk now know the risks. He is only talking about a few oz in the morning.

    Her new pattern is up at 6 - 630am nurse for 5 - 20 min, then again at 930a - 10a 15 - 20min, 2 - 330pm 15 - 20min and then 630 - 730pm 20-30min. It is after I put her to bed she will wake almost endlessly and want to nurse to just be held. I know she is teething I see about 3 teeth wanting out.

    I thought about not nursing at 930am and give her a cup and rock her to sleep, but I think that will just create a new need for her.

    I am so lost.

    I have mixed emotions about weaning. I want to wean so badly but she will be 1yr in about 50 days. less than 2months for me that is a milestone and half.

    The LLL leader recommended two books for me with stories about weaning.

    Oh and to top off the whole mixed emotions I started af for the first time in 19months 4days.

    Thanks for reading and sharing
    Becky ~ 33 Dh ~ 37 (my little geek of geeks)
    Dd1 ~ Brittney 5yrs aka Bunny
    Ds ~ Xander 3yrs aka Xaxu
    Dd2 ~ Bailie 1yr aka Dede

    Still going 14months later.

    1yr goal and save $2200 average.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    Default Re: Trying to wean, but how?



    Can you share your reasons for wanting to wean and perhaps we can offer more guidance?

    I know that I am more at peace about nursing now that my son is night-weaned. I feel like it gives me a little more of myself back. But that didn't happen until 16 months.

    I believe the gentlest way to wean is slowly, patiently, and removing the least "comforting" nursing session first. So that probably won't be the before nap/bed sessions or the nighttime sessions and most likely not the first thing in the AM session.

    Breastmilk should be the main source of nutrition for the first year, so you will need to look into an alternative to ensure she is getting complete nutrition. Cow's milk does not supply the necessary nutrients, neither do the milk alternatives such as rice milk and soy milk.

    It sounds like you are very torn on this decision. Give it time. Remember its not all or nothing.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    Default Re: Trying to wean, but how?

    I am torn.

    I am proud of myself (i know vain) for bf this far. She has 5teeth and more coming soon. I really thought teething was going to be the end. But we worked through it like champs.

    I want to nurse beyond one mostly because I am lazy, cost of cows milk (dude we go through 6gals a week now $30). I just want her to sleep at night. I want her to know she can go t daddy for comfort at night.

    Last night I was trying to take care of ds who had a fever and she was screaming and crying and all kinds of stuff while dh was holding her and Heaven forbid I leave her sight. once I was done with him I took her and she stopped screaming. She nursed like she was starving and then passed out.

    I am tired of the clingyness(sp). I never had that with the other two kids. It is really hard from 5pm until bedtime. She is hungry when I am cooking, I feed her as soon as I can (food), then she wants me to hold her but i have dinner to pick up.... it is just night time is a pain. Then the night feedings. it is almost midnight here and she fell asleep at 730pmish and has been up twice. Once I offerred her breast and the 2nd time I did not not because I feel if it has been 4 or more hrs then I will offer....know what i mean.

    I guess deep down I just want things the way they were for the old two kids at her age. I want sleep at night. I want dh to understand I want to bf (i can not believe I am saying it) beyond one. No one in the family thinks it is healthy. But if I can teach her she can nurse in the morning and at night at home only and drink from a cup she will be fine.

    CRAP THERE IS GOES AGAIN.

    Gatta run
    Becky ~ 33 Dh ~ 37 (my little geek of geeks)
    Dd1 ~ Brittney 5yrs aka Bunny
    Ds ~ Xander 3yrs aka Xaxu
    Dd2 ~ Bailie 1yr aka Dede

    Still going 14months later.

    1yr goal and save $2200 average.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    9,280

    Default Re: Trying to wean, but how?

    I am so sorry you're struggling.

    Remember, weaning may not be the answer to her need for you and only you. It also may not be the answer to her sleeping through the night. She may be a higher-needs child than your older two. Have you tried wearing her in a sling? Then she can be close to you but you have your hands free to care for the older two.

    If she is cutting three teeth right now I'm guessing that is her night-time issues and need for you. Teething really affects sleep and moods. Is she crawling yet? Pulling up? Working on milestones is also a really big one.

    It sounds like you are struggling to cope with her demand for you. Nursing is a good way to offer instant comfort and closeness to a high-needs baby.

    I see in your siggie that your next goal is 12 months. I know you can do it. What do you need to reach that goal? More help? More sleep? More support from hubby? We can help and support you. For sleep, is your hubby willing to take the baby for an hour or two on the weekend mornings so you can sleep in? Are you going to bed when the kids do? During teething and sleep regressions (9-10 months is a prime time for a big sleep regression) I had to go to bed when my son did in order to get more total hours in.

    Lyn

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Trying to wean, but how?

    She is hitting a new milestone every week it seems. She has been crawling since May, pulling her self to stand, trying to keep up with the older to kids. I have tried the sling (front and back pack). I never thought of high needs I have been thinking she is like this because she is bf. I have always assumed the clingyness is due to bf. Like my niece and nephews are all clingy to there moms too clinging for me. I do not sleep when she sleeps. It seems pointless lately. I am usually up until 2amish with hopes of getting three straight hrs of sleeps even two would be great...kwim

    I do not ask hubby to help he works all day. I normally let him sleep because dd2 wants to nurse when she wakes and does not go back down. Once she is up the other two are up and well there goes my day. I want to go back to bed, but it is not my personality. I take care of the family.

    Anywho, I really do not know what I want in the end. My may be I will pull out my baby whisperer book to see what they say about high needs.
    Becky ~ 33 Dh ~ 37 (my little geek of geeks)
    Dd1 ~ Brittney 5yrs aka Bunny
    Ds ~ Xander 3yrs aka Xaxu
    Dd2 ~ Bailie 1yr aka Dede

    Still going 14months later.

    1yr goal and save $2200 average.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    New Orleans, LA
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    Default Re: Trying to wean, but how?

    Our DDs are almost the exact same age. I can't even imagine trying to take any of her feedings away...she's just a baby. I have no clue how to wean a baby less than one.

    Since the AAP recommends BFing for at least a year, perhaps you could start weaning after a year?

    This is really going to be tough on her and you.

    With dd1, I said I would wean by her first birthday, until it arrived. That's when I decided to let her self-wean which happend at 16.5 months (due to pregnancy). With dd2 I will let her self-wean as well, but there will be no pregnancy this time.

    Hugs to you.
    Mother - Wife - Artist - Cook - Writer - EnvironMENTAList - Cloth Diaperer (but we are soooo done with diapers) - Organic Health Nut...I'm sure there's more.

    DD1 - 12/15/05 Breastfed for 16.5 months
    DD2 - 8/6/07 Breastfed for 3 whole years and 3 little, extra days.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    302

    Default Re: Trying to wean, but how?

    Have you thought of just trying to night wean? I followed dr. Jay Gordon's method for my twins and it worked really well. Once they were not nursing at night my outlook during the day was much better. Now today is the first day that they are not nursing (21 mo).

    Nancy
    Mom to Elijah & Audrey 9/19/06
    Twin GERDlings

    21 mo and starting to drop their last nursing.
    Nancy
    Mom to Elijah & Audrey 9/19/06
    Twin GERDlings

    for 21 mo



  8. #8
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    Jun 2006
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
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    Default Re: Trying to wean, but how?

    I would also just like to point out ever so gently that your work all day too. In fact you put in longer hours than your DH. It's not unreasonable to get your partner to help you with three children in the evening when one of them is a sick child and the other is an infant.
    And Clingy by your definition sounds like Attached. Your Daughter is attached to you. Which is healthy and normal. And likely won't change if you wean her now. I noticed you took your accomplishments and goals out of your signature. Why? Have you changed your mind about reaching your year goal?
    Don't let a rough period say you. Formula is more expensive than Cow's milk. And if you wean her before the year point, you will need to put her on formula. Have your DH help you on the weekends and in the evening if you need it. Tell him by helping you cope you are saving him money. Perhaps he could have dealt with the sick child while you dealt with the screaming infant? Rather than the other way around which seems to have added to your stress? Stay focused. You can do it.

    Way too lazy for formula

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    187

    Default Re: Trying to wean, but how?

    I dont have much to offer other then and for me weaning one nursing session every 7 days was best on my body and I'm sure on my LO and mines mind. However, I don't want to miss lead you... I'm still very sad at the "putting to bed" feeding

    much luck!

    Jake: Born 11/15/07
    6lbs 5oz ~ 19inch and 3/4's long

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    Default Re: Trying to wean, but how?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*nolamomma View Post
    With dd1, I said I would wean by her first birthday, until it arrived. That's when I decided to let her self-wean which happend at 16.5 months (due to pregnancy). With dd2 I will let her self-wean as well, but there will be no pregnancy this time.
    self-weaning is something I have thought of but not sure if I can.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*nancy.g View Post
    I followed dr. Jay Gordon's method for my twins and it worked really well.
    going to look it up tonight

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    I would also just like to point out ever so gently that your work all day too. In fact you put in longer hours than your DH. It's not unreasonable to get your partner to help you with three children in the evening when one of them is a sick child and the other is an infant.
    And Clingy by your definition sounds like Attached. Your Daughter is attached to you. Which is healthy and normal. And likely won't change if you wean her now. I noticed you took your accomplishments and goals out of your signature. Why? Have you changed your mind about reaching your year goal?
    Don't let a rough period say you. Formula is more expensive than Cow's milk. And if you wean her before the year point, you will need to put her on formula. Have your DH help you on the weekends and in the evening if you need it. Tell him by helping you cope you are saving him money. Perhaps he could have dealt with the sick child while you dealt with the screaming infant? Rather than the other way around which seems to have added to your stress? Stay focused. You can do it.
    I do not know what happened to my siggie. I have not really given up I am just getting pressure from dh and I just want 6hrs of sleep. I miss my 6hrs. Dh was sleeping through it all until dd2 got really really mad and he finally realized I was busy and need his help but he would not offer to help me with ds.

    Attached it the word I was looking for. I can not stand it. My other two were not even ds who has med. issues. It reminds me of my sister's kid and my sil's kids how all get upset if their mom leave their sight just to pee. I can not deal with it. I mean I am but it bugs me.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*jakesters.mommy View Post
    I dont have much to offer other then and for me weaning one nursing session every 7 days was best on my body and I'm sure on my LO and mines mind. However, I don't want to miss lead you... I'm still very sad at the "putting to bed" feeding

    much luck!
    I am so unsure of this adventure. I mean I am still bf 5.5teeth later and and I have 49days until dd2 turns 1yrs. I think the pressure from dh, the 10months of lack of sleep, my period returning, packing dd1 and 2's clothes....I am losing my mind. I have so much to do in the next 49days it is not funny from getting ready for dd2 baptism and party, her 1yr party, making her baptism dress, just finished invitations, .... then our world is falling apart we found out our 2nd house may not be rented at the end of august, we got a letter from irs we owe money from 2yrs ago input error from dh, we got our house insurance to pay for, we need a 2nd car before august for dh so I can commute dd1 to school,....I just and to scream and cry.

    Sorry for the mini pitty party. I have had a long weekend and af is still here.
    Becky ~ 33 Dh ~ 37 (my little geek of geeks)
    Dd1 ~ Brittney 5yrs aka Bunny
    Ds ~ Xander 3yrs aka Xaxu
    Dd2 ~ Bailie 1yr aka Dede

    Still going 14months later.

    1yr goal and save $2200 average.

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