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Thread: Weaning a 2 1/2 year old

  1. #11

    Default Re: Weaning a 2 1/2 year old

    It's Monday morning, and DS hasn't asked for milk since Saturday morning. I'm so sad. He hasn't even asked! So I'm also a bit miffed and insulted. I didn't talk to him about stopping, nothing. But once he was in his own room, it's like he just forgot all about BF. I'm in shock. I was so upset last night that I didn't go to bed until 2am. Poor DH. He's trying to be understanding, but the bottom line is he can't understand. I don't even understand what's going on. He says I'm grieving, but I'm also mad at DS for giving up so easily! He's a very verbal, very articulate little 2 1/2 year old. He talks more like a 4 year old. He speaks in paragraphs, if you know what I mean. So it's not like he couldn't talk about this or ask what happened to the milk. He doesn't even want to cuddle. He just wants to enjoy his new room and bed and look at everything. He does want storytime--he asks for that, but not for the milk that always followed that! This morning when DH and I were in his room just after wake up time, we asked for cuddles, and he sort of did, but then turned and lay down for a moment on his bed and said, 'I'm cuddling my bed!' I feel replaced by his room and bed and stuff in general! I know I should be excited for him, and part of me is, but I just wasn't prepared for the suddenness of the stopping, without a talk about it or anything. I thought we would drop one feed, but keep one for awhile, or as one poster suggested, offer it one or two days a week or something.

    Sigh. Guess you can't have everything. I should count the blessing that he weaned (assumably!) so easily. No stress, no fuss. Except for me!

    Thanks for listening. I don't know who I could talk to here about this, as I don't know anyone who does EBF--except one friend in the US and another acquaintance here but I have run into her in about 18 months. So you are a really nice support!

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    8,018

    Default Re: Weaning a 2 1/2 year old

    Sounds like your DS is happy as a clam! Yay!

    Just to throw this out there-if you want to you can offer to nurse, you don't have to wait for him to ask.

    Great job mama!

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    436

    Default Re: Weaning a 2 1/2 year old

    Hi there -- just wanted to let you know that I'm also in the exact same situation. 31-month-old, nurses bedtime and on waking, still sleeps with us, we're about to try to transition him to his own bed and room. He still loves his "nu-nu" and does a cute little nu-nu dance everynight after his Dad finishes reading to him when he knows its time to switch to mommy time. He's also going back and forth betwen "I'm a big boy" and "I'm a little boy." When I told him once that he won't need nu-nu any more when he's a big boy, he said very clearly "I'm a little boy." So I guess he's not ready yet. I, on the other hand, am getting a bit weary, especially since I have very little milk at this point, so he's not actually getting much, which is a little frustrating. I'm going away for ten days in August, so between that and the room transition, I'm expecting that he'll probably be weaned by the end of the summer. I'll definitely be sad, but I'm so glad I've been able to hold out for this long. Congratulations for that, and good luck with this new learning process, wherever it goes! I'll be interested in hearing how you work out the new bedtime routine.
    Annie
    Mama to Jeremy Daniel (12/10/2005)


    I'm a late cloth convert...and you? :tumbsup

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    436

    Default Re: Weaning a 2 1/2 year old

    Just saw your last post -- oh, I know I'll be very sad if my DS stops that suddenly! Hugs to you, but glad that he's so thrilled with this new stage.
    Annie
    Mama to Jeremy Daniel (12/10/2005)


    I'm a late cloth convert...and you? :tumbsup

  5. #15

    Default Re: Weaning a 2 1/2 year old

    Latest update.

    I have been sobbing off and on for the past couple of days. I did go out both Sunday and today for a bit and managed to hold it together, but once I was home and when DS was asleep for nap or at night, I would cry.

    I talked with a friend today and I told her a little of what I've been feeling. She said she went through the same thing when her son weaned when he was about one. Apparently, it's not unusual for moms to experience a kind of hormonal depression with weaning. I didn't know that. I thought maybe a bit of sadness at the change in relationship, etc., but what I was feeling was more out of control than that. I'm wondering if it is the sudden drop in oxytocin, which gets released when BF. ?? Anyway, it has been sheer misery.

    Then tonight, oh joy, DS asked for milk! We had been talking about a friend at dinner who is having BF difficulties with her six week old. Then at bedtime, DS had this look come across his face, like 'oh, yeah, I forgot....!' and he asked for milk. He asked to nurse on the floor of his room, even though DH asked if he didn't want to nurse in Mommy and Daddy's bed. Nope. He loves his new room and wanted it to happen there and then. DH, bless him!!!, went and got me a pillow and DS and I curled up on his not too comfy floor (thin padding--we're in a rental... ). AH, bliss! Almost as soon as he started, I could feel the happy drug coursing back through my veins. It's bizarre. The depression disappeared in an instant. Can oxytocin kick in that quickly??!?

    DH confessed that he mentioned to DS in the morning that he could have mommy milk if he wanted to, to just ask. DS was too busy playing this morning to think about it, but remembered in the evening. I'm sure talking as a family about the other little baby needing help to get his mommy milk probably triggered his memory!

    Maybe it would have been easier in the long run to say 'no more num nums' when he asked. Hard on me, but easier in the end, if you know what I mean. But there was no way I could have said no at that point!



    Maybe a LITTTTTTTLE bit more gradual stop can happen. We'll see.

    Meanwhile, THANK YOU, all you lovely ladies!

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    NoVA
    Posts
    1,535

    Default Re: Weaning a 2 1/2 year old

    what your describing IS normal, and yes oxytocin can be released that quickly!

    Here is LLL's page on weaning, there are some good stories and mother's experiences that might help you! http://llli.org/NB/NBweaning.html
    Jessica
    LLL Leader

    Breastfeeding is an instinctual and natural act, but it is also an art that is learned day by day.

    Visit LLL of Ashburn PM's Blog!

  7. #17

    Default Re: Weaning a 2 1/2 year old

    Thanks, Jessica (and everyone else). Some helpful info on the page you linked to.


  8. #18
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    8,018

    Default Re: Weaning a 2 1/2 year old

    That is a very sweet story! BTW we still keep a big rocking chair in DD1's room. I can fit with her in her toddler bed if needed though.

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    100

    Default Re: Weaning a 2 1/2 year old

    im glad (for you) that he nursed!! one of my biggest fears about weaning is that he wont ever want to just cuddle and let me hold him since except for bfing he never does!
    you are so lucky that the transition to his room went so well for him....perfect timing!!

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    436

    Default Re: Weaning a 2 1/2 year old

    Good for your DH! It's wonderful that he is showing this kind of attentiveness and flexibility -- I guess he saw how much this means to you. And I'm so glad for you that it hasn't ended quite yet. I'm not looking forward to that day. I have been inspired by your story about the room transition -- we went out and looked at paint samples today and I'm trying to think of ways to make the new room cozy and inviting.
    Last edited by @llli*annie; June 24th, 2008 at 02:11 PM.
    Annie
    Mama to Jeremy Daniel (12/10/2005)


    I'm a late cloth convert...and you? :tumbsup

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